Post by Varga on Apr 5, 2023 10:08:46 GMT
Continued from Owe Me the Money
Dear dad,
You'll be happy to know that I've killed that coward Tim, the Red Herring! Let me tell you all about it!
So, he got himself a thingamajig, called inhalation sphere, that was very good for drilling tunnels, but he wanted to drill tunnels under New Hillborrow and Daring Academy. With no regulations. Completely unsafe. I must sound like mom, but that stuff's important. Could have brought buildings down. Anyway, we went to intercept him.
We weren't the toughest party. I mean, Kelne is technically a Thicc Boi, but they're honorary. Although they do hit pretty hard, and they rage-heal, which is a lot of fun. Then we had Heret, and he can defeat the whole kingdom of Many-Arrows with math, but he also goes down so often I'd probably be dating him if he didn't have a girl already. Derthaad was okay, I mean he did kill an ascending god... Although I did have to resuscitate him for it. And we had Jaezred with us, meaning there was a real danger we won't find Tim at all.
Anyway, Jaezred and Derthaad figured out that Tim is using some sort of amulet to control the orb. So we needed to chop off whatever he had this amulet on, and touch the amulet to the sphere and pray to Luthic not to blow up the continent.
While everyone formulated plan, I drank a couple of potions (I learned it from Ivan, okay? They can be useful when you're the only thicc person around!), and ran ahead, like a real Crushin' Boulder should!
I grappled Tim, but the others were held back by the oozes. I summoned some support from Nishrek (gran-gran says hi!), and Kelne threw a silence spell so that Tim couldn't teleport. I couldn't quite hit him, but I saw an amulet for oozes on his neck, and another, for the sphere, in his hand. Couldn't quite grab either of them. How is Kavel doing it so easily?
Anyway, Derthaad and Jaezred were busy exploding oozes, and Kelne was preventing Heret from dying. Tim was just throwing his sphere here and there whenever he managed to get out of the anti-magic field (I didn't notice if it was Jaezred or Derthaad throwing it on). So my job was mostly keeping him in the anti-magic-anti-talking area.
He brought the sphere forward, and tried to inhalate my backside. Wasn't nice, but nothing Crushin' Boulder conditioning doesn't prep you for. Thank Illneval for a good idea he sent me: I turned us around, so Tim's hand with the amulet touched the sphere. The sphere inhalated him in an instant. Then it did blow up, but not really. Mostly inward. And then half the building on top of us collapsed, so the Academy will be spending money on repairs. I think it's the part they call Unfortunate Biology department. Unfortunate indeed! Looked more like a broom closet to me.
Anyway, we ran off before we got covered with the debris. And then a couple of weeks later we went to the fair, like nothing happened.
Got me thinking. You know, first Desathrax, now Tim. I kinda killed a lot of shit, and it's no trouble. But… Can't really go back to raiding, even sustainably, after something like this, right? I mean… raiding's fun and all, but let's face it: I've helped kill a god. Negotiated with another one, back in Galavir. Destroyed an inhalation sphere and the Red Herring. Helped save the Daring Academy (questionable achievement, I know, but people like this place for some reason). So… raiding some random traders after all this stuff is a bit like jumping off a 100-foot cliff: it's… childish. Don't be mad, but I thought maybe I should get into raiding prevention. Just hear me out. All these space pirates, orc bands, liches, red herrings, giants, wannabe gods... They cheat! They go for easy target and get cred for killing unarmed or underprepped civilians. If they just walked up to Thicc Bois and challenged us, they'd be powder before finishing a sentence. So, if the common folk are more savvy when to step aside and how to make way for us to deal with the problem... there may be less dishonourable killings. More people to know our story, too. And we'll show those cheaters! So, there's that. What do you think?
Stakes and torches,
Your loving daughter, Varga.
The end of Tim saga!
Dear dad,
You'll be happy to know that I've killed that coward Tim, the Red Herring! Let me tell you all about it!
So, he got himself a thingamajig, called inhalation sphere, that was very good for drilling tunnels, but he wanted to drill tunnels under New Hillborrow and Daring Academy. With no regulations. Completely unsafe. I must sound like mom, but that stuff's important. Could have brought buildings down. Anyway, we went to intercept him.
We weren't the toughest party. I mean, Kelne is technically a Thicc Boi, but they're honorary. Although they do hit pretty hard, and they rage-heal, which is a lot of fun. Then we had Heret, and he can defeat the whole kingdom of Many-Arrows with math, but he also goes down so often I'd probably be dating him if he didn't have a girl already. Derthaad was okay, I mean he did kill an ascending god... Although I did have to resuscitate him for it. And we had Jaezred with us, meaning there was a real danger we won't find Tim at all.
Anyway, Jaezred and Derthaad figured out that Tim is using some sort of amulet to control the orb. So we needed to chop off whatever he had this amulet on, and touch the amulet to the sphere and pray to Luthic not to blow up the continent.
While everyone formulated plan, I drank a couple of potions (I learned it from Ivan, okay? They can be useful when you're the only thicc person around!), and ran ahead, like a real Crushin' Boulder should!
I grappled Tim, but the others were held back by the oozes. I summoned some support from Nishrek (gran-gran says hi!), and Kelne threw a silence spell so that Tim couldn't teleport. I couldn't quite hit him, but I saw an amulet for oozes on his neck, and another, for the sphere, in his hand. Couldn't quite grab either of them. How is Kavel doing it so easily?
Anyway, Derthaad and Jaezred were busy exploding oozes, and Kelne was preventing Heret from dying. Tim was just throwing his sphere here and there whenever he managed to get out of the anti-magic field (I didn't notice if it was Jaezred or Derthaad throwing it on). So my job was mostly keeping him in the anti-magic-anti-talking area.
He brought the sphere forward, and tried to inhalate my backside. Wasn't nice, but nothing Crushin' Boulder conditioning doesn't prep you for. Thank Illneval for a good idea he sent me: I turned us around, so Tim's hand with the amulet touched the sphere. The sphere inhalated him in an instant. Then it did blow up, but not really. Mostly inward. And then half the building on top of us collapsed, so the Academy will be spending money on repairs. I think it's the part they call Unfortunate Biology department. Unfortunate indeed! Looked more like a broom closet to me.
Anyway, we ran off before we got covered with the debris. And then a couple of weeks later we went to the fair, like nothing happened.
Got me thinking. You know, first Desathrax, now Tim. I kinda killed a lot of shit, and it's no trouble. But… Can't really go back to raiding, even sustainably, after something like this, right? I mean… raiding's fun and all, but let's face it: I've helped kill a god. Negotiated with another one, back in Galavir. Destroyed an inhalation sphere and the Red Herring. Helped save the Daring Academy (questionable achievement, I know, but people like this place for some reason). So… raiding some random traders after all this stuff is a bit like jumping off a 100-foot cliff: it's… childish. Don't be mad, but I thought maybe I should get into raiding prevention. Just hear me out. All these space pirates, orc bands, liches, red herrings, giants, wannabe gods... They cheat! They go for easy target and get cred for killing unarmed or underprepped civilians. If they just walked up to Thicc Bois and challenged us, they'd be powder before finishing a sentence. So, if the common folk are more savvy when to step aside and how to make way for us to deal with the problem... there may be less dishonourable killings. More people to know our story, too. And we'll show those cheaters! So, there's that. What do you think?
Stakes and torches,
Your loving daughter, Varga.
The end of Tim saga!
