Cool Your Sewer Jets - Varga - 14/07
Jul 16, 2021 9:05:34 GMT
Igrainne (RETIRED), Henry (Felix/Sterling), and 1 more like this
Post by Varga on Jul 16, 2021 9:05:34 GMT
The Adventure of a Civil War,
In which people play sewer water volleyball, a druid sticks their head in the wall, and one of two gardeners was behind everything.
Someone’s been attacking people from under the manhole covers in Port Ffirst. Tortles like to prank people from the sewers, but nobody knew who it was. Another mystery to solve then.
Came to the guy’s house. Met Oziah and Felix at there. Also three new people – they looked like they’ve been looted already, so not interesting. At the entrance, we were met with a plant dog. A gardener! I told everyone he was guilty, because we were investigating the mystery – meant the gardener did it. Felix said sometimes a butler did it. But the people has been attacked by vines, meant it was a gardener this time. Nobody listened to me, except for a warlock named Wil. At least one reasonable person around. Always useful to have. The case got even worse – the gardener turned out to be a librarian, too. Lots of books at his house. Very sus.
The gardener was a young Tiefling named Root. Said the City Watch accused him of the attacks, and he’s innocent. That complicated thing. On the one axe, he’s a gardener. On the other – Port Ffirst City Watch is entirely incompetent: as far as I know, they still haven’t found Bell Ring. That means whoever they suspect didn’t do it.
There are many crimes, so this gardener must have done it somewhere else. But he offered money, so guess his crimes will wait until another time.
Our first disagreement arose there, as Oziah proposed to charm Root to force him to tell the truth, Wil proposed to read his mind, and Root really hoped to be left alive after hiring us for help. In the end we trusted Root's word and went to the sewers entry he suggested. On route, discussed Felix’s axe. It’s a cool axe, but he keeps bringing it up all the time. Makes it less cool. Keep it in your scabbard, mate.
Laurel, the druid, asked us not to kill the plants. I’ve got nothing against the plants. Wil had. I could respect that. I had a beef with a tree root once. The root didn’t survive. Felix and Oziah agreed conditionally. I sighed, painfully: another pacifist. Is it just me or is there one in every party on the continent? Suggested we can hit it but not kill it. Laurel said they had no interest in researching the plant. Not interested in reasearch - I respect them.
Met an elf person next to the sewers. She let us in. Said her buddy was attacked with something yellow and weird-sounding. I asked her for a map. She said there wasn’t one. What if there’s a fire in the sewers? Workers won’t know where the emergency exits are! Apparently, it’s not just the Watch. Civil services in Port Ffirst are just as incompetent. With two gardeners on the loose, the city is practically doomed. I should just loot what I can and get out before it all comes crashing down.
After another argument where to go, we went through the sewers. A bit boring. Itzal led the way. They’re a monk, so not the beefiest. Still going ahead where the danger is. Very reckless. I respect them. Felix brought up his axe again. It emitted a bit of light. Wil sighed and cast proper light.
Midway to the other exit, Laurel knelt down and stuck their head in the gap in one of the walls. I don’t pretend to understand magic users, so just waited. They got up and said there was a bunch of raccoons and badgers on the other side who said we were going the right way. Everyone decided to help save the baby badgers. Whatever.
We met a tortle and a Halfling, drinking and playing dice. Everyone interrogated them. Two guys were drinking and playing dice in the middle of the sewers - who’d think that suspicious, when there’s a gardener around? We argued with them a bit. It was starting to get out of hand. In the end, myself and Wil hung back until everyone got the two drunkards completely confused. Itzal found a nice fishing rod down the way. These are some pretty busy sewers…
Kept walking. Everyone got bored. Oziah and Itzal walked in silence. Felix was talking bout his axe. Laurel and Wil made a ball of sewer water and were throwing it to each other with their magic. I found a yellow moss ball in the stream and told them to stop their sewer water volleyball and look at the moss. Laurel froze the water with moss. Wil picked it up with his mage hand. Both he and Oziah said it wasn’t magical. I reckoned if it wasn't magical, our gardener didn’t do it, and it was Evidence. Wil put the moss in my pouch. I’m starting a book ‘520 ways of not touching sewer water while in sewers’. Must be a hit with the cleaner people round here.
Finally found the large moss ball. Heard it first. I took out my weapons and went ahead. As usual. Felix and Wil made a bet I’d start smashing it before Laurel had a chance to talk. Just cause I’ve got a couple of axes, and cause I tend to hack at things, and cause I really enjoy doing it, and cause I worship the god of war and death, people just assume things. Really felt like I’m back home and aunt Marge keeps asking when I’m gonna pillage my first capital. I’m 25, Ok? There’s plenty of time for me to swing my axes. Laurel seemed really invested in this plant life, anyway.
Went round the corner. There was a really ugly thing called Plantmoth. Laurel started talking to it. Felix started hitting it. Ahead of me. His loss, literally – now owed 5 copper to Wil. Oziah and Itzal weren’t interested – they found something else to cut to pieces, good for them. I gave the Plantmoth a good couple of whacks with my axe. It whacked me back. Reasonable. It also used some of its vines to tie my legs. Very stupid. Perhaps it was feeling suicidal and wanted to make sure I kill it. Dunno. Need to ask Laurel if it needed therapy or something.
The plant ate Felix. Behind me, I heard a loud wooden crack as Oziah split whatever she and Itzal were attacking in half. Wil was showering the Plantmoth with hexes. Felix was attacking it from the inside (hopefully he remembered to bring up his axe) and shouting ‘LET ME OUTTA HERE!’ loud enough for us to hear. I was cutting at it with my axe. Bahgtru himself must have been smiling when looking down at us. Laurel seemed to be deeply engaged in conversation with the Plantmoth. I honestly gave up on a proper battle etiquette with all those pacifists around. They turned to us and said the Plantmoth will stop attacking if we stop. That wasn’t the most eloquent I heard magic users go. Talking to plants must take its toll. But I obliged. Remembering Carnan, I thought we all need some help with communication sometimes. So, I hit the Plantmoth on the mouth with my warhammer, hard enough to get a crack out of it. And then I gestured between myself and Laurel as two possible alternative solutions to the Plantmoth’s current predicament. It got the idea and spewed out Felix.
That's where our final argument happened. Wil didn’t seem to be convinced by Laurel, and kept hitting the Plantmoth with vengeance. Felix sent lightning bolts at it. Quite understandable, really. Few people enjoy being eaten. Oziah, Laurel and Itzal ran to stand between them and Plantmoth, healing it along the way. Personally, I try to stay out of Ethical Dilemmas, but I really dislike infighting. Bad for discipline. I hit Felix up the head, just to make a point. He got the point. A fully armed paladin, a monk and a druid facing him probably also helped. Wil was disheartened at the prospect of not killing a plant. Can’t always get what you want.
Oziah bundled the Plantmoth in a cloak, put it on Deimos, and thus we paraded it through the streets of Port Ffirst. Nobody paid any attention. This city is doomed, really. Nothing even fazes people anymore.
We gave the Plantmoth and the moss to Root, and then brought all of them to the Watch. They exhibited their usual incompetence by closing the case and not even bothering to find the gardener. I don’t particularly care about the city, as I said, it’s as good as dead already, but there is a worrying amount of gardeners getting away scott-free lately. More to the point, they’re getting away from me. Might be worth finding one and making an example of him…
In which people play sewer water volleyball, a druid sticks their head in the wall, and one of two gardeners was behind everything.
Someone’s been attacking people from under the manhole covers in Port Ffirst. Tortles like to prank people from the sewers, but nobody knew who it was. Another mystery to solve then.
Came to the guy’s house. Met Oziah and Felix at there. Also three new people – they looked like they’ve been looted already, so not interesting. At the entrance, we were met with a plant dog. A gardener! I told everyone he was guilty, because we were investigating the mystery – meant the gardener did it. Felix said sometimes a butler did it. But the people has been attacked by vines, meant it was a gardener this time. Nobody listened to me, except for a warlock named Wil. At least one reasonable person around. Always useful to have. The case got even worse – the gardener turned out to be a librarian, too. Lots of books at his house. Very sus.
The gardener was a young Tiefling named Root. Said the City Watch accused him of the attacks, and he’s innocent. That complicated thing. On the one axe, he’s a gardener. On the other – Port Ffirst City Watch is entirely incompetent: as far as I know, they still haven’t found Bell Ring. That means whoever they suspect didn’t do it.
There are many crimes, so this gardener must have done it somewhere else. But he offered money, so guess his crimes will wait until another time.
Our first disagreement arose there, as Oziah proposed to charm Root to force him to tell the truth, Wil proposed to read his mind, and Root really hoped to be left alive after hiring us for help. In the end we trusted Root's word and went to the sewers entry he suggested. On route, discussed Felix’s axe. It’s a cool axe, but he keeps bringing it up all the time. Makes it less cool. Keep it in your scabbard, mate.
Laurel, the druid, asked us not to kill the plants. I’ve got nothing against the plants. Wil had. I could respect that. I had a beef with a tree root once. The root didn’t survive. Felix and Oziah agreed conditionally. I sighed, painfully: another pacifist. Is it just me or is there one in every party on the continent? Suggested we can hit it but not kill it. Laurel said they had no interest in researching the plant. Not interested in reasearch - I respect them.
Met an elf person next to the sewers. She let us in. Said her buddy was attacked with something yellow and weird-sounding. I asked her for a map. She said there wasn’t one. What if there’s a fire in the sewers? Workers won’t know where the emergency exits are! Apparently, it’s not just the Watch. Civil services in Port Ffirst are just as incompetent. With two gardeners on the loose, the city is practically doomed. I should just loot what I can and get out before it all comes crashing down.
After another argument where to go, we went through the sewers. A bit boring. Itzal led the way. They’re a monk, so not the beefiest. Still going ahead where the danger is. Very reckless. I respect them. Felix brought up his axe again. It emitted a bit of light. Wil sighed and cast proper light.
Midway to the other exit, Laurel knelt down and stuck their head in the gap in one of the walls. I don’t pretend to understand magic users, so just waited. They got up and said there was a bunch of raccoons and badgers on the other side who said we were going the right way. Everyone decided to help save the baby badgers. Whatever.
We met a tortle and a Halfling, drinking and playing dice. Everyone interrogated them. Two guys were drinking and playing dice in the middle of the sewers - who’d think that suspicious, when there’s a gardener around? We argued with them a bit. It was starting to get out of hand. In the end, myself and Wil hung back until everyone got the two drunkards completely confused. Itzal found a nice fishing rod down the way. These are some pretty busy sewers…
Kept walking. Everyone got bored. Oziah and Itzal walked in silence. Felix was talking bout his axe. Laurel and Wil made a ball of sewer water and were throwing it to each other with their magic. I found a yellow moss ball in the stream and told them to stop their sewer water volleyball and look at the moss. Laurel froze the water with moss. Wil picked it up with his mage hand. Both he and Oziah said it wasn’t magical. I reckoned if it wasn't magical, our gardener didn’t do it, and it was Evidence. Wil put the moss in my pouch. I’m starting a book ‘520 ways of not touching sewer water while in sewers’. Must be a hit with the cleaner people round here.
Finally found the large moss ball. Heard it first. I took out my weapons and went ahead. As usual. Felix and Wil made a bet I’d start smashing it before Laurel had a chance to talk. Just cause I’ve got a couple of axes, and cause I tend to hack at things, and cause I really enjoy doing it, and cause I worship the god of war and death, people just assume things. Really felt like I’m back home and aunt Marge keeps asking when I’m gonna pillage my first capital. I’m 25, Ok? There’s plenty of time for me to swing my axes. Laurel seemed really invested in this plant life, anyway.
Went round the corner. There was a really ugly thing called Plantmoth. Laurel started talking to it. Felix started hitting it. Ahead of me. His loss, literally – now owed 5 copper to Wil. Oziah and Itzal weren’t interested – they found something else to cut to pieces, good for them. I gave the Plantmoth a good couple of whacks with my axe. It whacked me back. Reasonable. It also used some of its vines to tie my legs. Very stupid. Perhaps it was feeling suicidal and wanted to make sure I kill it. Dunno. Need to ask Laurel if it needed therapy or something.
The plant ate Felix. Behind me, I heard a loud wooden crack as Oziah split whatever she and Itzal were attacking in half. Wil was showering the Plantmoth with hexes. Felix was attacking it from the inside (hopefully he remembered to bring up his axe) and shouting ‘LET ME OUTTA HERE!’ loud enough for us to hear. I was cutting at it with my axe. Bahgtru himself must have been smiling when looking down at us. Laurel seemed to be deeply engaged in conversation with the Plantmoth. I honestly gave up on a proper battle etiquette with all those pacifists around. They turned to us and said the Plantmoth will stop attacking if we stop. That wasn’t the most eloquent I heard magic users go. Talking to plants must take its toll. But I obliged. Remembering Carnan, I thought we all need some help with communication sometimes. So, I hit the Plantmoth on the mouth with my warhammer, hard enough to get a crack out of it. And then I gestured between myself and Laurel as two possible alternative solutions to the Plantmoth’s current predicament. It got the idea and spewed out Felix.
That's where our final argument happened. Wil didn’t seem to be convinced by Laurel, and kept hitting the Plantmoth with vengeance. Felix sent lightning bolts at it. Quite understandable, really. Few people enjoy being eaten. Oziah, Laurel and Itzal ran to stand between them and Plantmoth, healing it along the way. Personally, I try to stay out of Ethical Dilemmas, but I really dislike infighting. Bad for discipline. I hit Felix up the head, just to make a point. He got the point. A fully armed paladin, a monk and a druid facing him probably also helped. Wil was disheartened at the prospect of not killing a plant. Can’t always get what you want.
Oziah bundled the Plantmoth in a cloak, put it on Deimos, and thus we paraded it through the streets of Port Ffirst. Nobody paid any attention. This city is doomed, really. Nothing even fazes people anymore.
We gave the Plantmoth and the moss to Root, and then brought all of them to the Watch. They exhibited their usual incompetence by closing the case and not even bothering to find the gardener. I don’t particularly care about the city, as I said, it’s as good as dead already, but there is a worrying amount of gardeners getting away scott-free lately. More to the point, they’re getting away from me. Might be worth finding one and making an example of him…
