To the Sewers! 30/5 Baine

"THEA!!

I went into the sewers (GROSS) and saw that half-orc again!! AND I GOT A DOG!!" 


Baine takes a deep breath and calms himself. Thea taught him to always start from the beginning, it's just really hard when you're excited. He's not in his usual Letter Writing Chair in the seashank. For the time being he's holed up in his room - he bribed Jedd to bring up a small table to sit at. He doesn't trust some of the other regulars not to do something questionable to the small ball of fluff currently chewing on his cloak.  


"We (Me, Bogg, Markas, Doddil and Urso, the full detective agency) got hired for a job, because we are awesome, amazing adventurers and the best at slaying fearsome foes.
Some pamphlets have been circulating about a problem in the Sewers in New Town. (Basically, rich people can't take care of their own waste like the rest of us and need shit pipes to manage daily life. They run under the city, out into the sea.) 

We went to the fancy place in New Town where the rich folk stay, the Flourished Hook, where a guy named Himal Maskay gave us the information we needed. He was a very snazzy lookin' fella - big turban, impressive moustache. Completely immune to my charms unfortunately. 

The rich folk are worried because they (or their workers, let's be real) have been hearing strange noises in the sewers, seen some spooky shadows and so on. One guy went missing but they don't know if it was connected, they don't really care but they need it sorted because rich people are important and like to throw money at something until it stops being a problem. That something happened to be us. 

We questioned some people before going into the sewers, because Doddil is very smart. This one guy named Priest, who wasn't a priest (clearly missed his calling) was very likely a massive drunk but he told us about some weird shadows he'd seen down there before offering Urso some goddamn RANCID milk and made him puke on everyone. Literally. 
(That's how we found out that "Holly" who had been on the job with us was actually Serpentine in disguise and if I had a copper for every time Serpentine has done some weird shit for no good reason, I'd be staying at the Flourished Hook by now, honestly. I don't UNDERSTAND her. Anyway.)

Covered in puke (not me) we went to talk to Elisha, who was also immune to my charms, I don't know what's happening Thea, I used to have game. She told us the same thing the drunk had told us so off to the shit pipes we went."


Baine pauses to move Phil from the floor up to a shelve, to keep its handle away from sharp puppy teeth. "Sorry, sorry!" he tells the very grumpy voice in his head. "He's gonna be a mighty warrior one day, just you wait and see." 


"Once down in the sewers I saw some of those strange symbols I've seen Bogg use and he told us they said to Go Left For The Entrance. Serpentine and Markas ran ahead, as usual, and went in through a secret door. That's when I heard a familiar voice tell them to stop or they'd be killed.

Remember way back when someone working for the Lenoir brothers wanted to get in touch with a person called Laruna the Red? It was like, my first job ever in Kantas. Laruna had been doing some good work for the people in Old Town, even though their methods had been slightly.. questionable, and maybe not entirely consensual. 
When we tracked them down we met a halfling named Olowin and a HALF-ORC named Bo. I didn't get a chance to talk to him nearly as much as I'd like that time, and I didn't know where went after that so I couldn't find him again. But there he was! 

He's so cool, Thea. He can do magic and he's really good at fighting (he gave me one hell of a shiner last time) and he invited me to come back and talk to him some time. 
He also asked me if I have "faith". You know Dad never prayed to any of the gods, so I never did either, and it's never bothered me before. But the way he asked it.. 

Everyone I've ever met who has a god seems so sure of themselves, Thea. Kaliel's entire life seems to be about the Raven Queen and serving her. Rholor was obviously neck deep in Selune and very happy about that. Bo was apparently some sort of follower of "Mask". He invited me to come back for a chat and a cuppa and to "pray at night". I'm not sure he actually meant praying or, y'know, Praying, either way I think I'm gonna go see him again. I wonder if he knows both his parents.

We ended up striking a deal with the Red Squad to stay out of their way and not tell anyone that they're holed up in the sewers these days, and for that they'd let us go. (Like I'd tell anyone. I'm not a snitch.) 
We went further down in the stinky tunnels, accidentally killed a goblin (he attacked first!!) but made friends with his brother, and his brother's frog Liz. He told us about the SHARK PEOPLE who also lived in the sewers these days. Why so many people want to live in a place that literally has shit flowing through them I really don't understand. 
But off we went, found a deep hole with sea water coming up through it, and the shark people. We fought them, naturally. Markas got petrified, Urso lost his voice to some pink bubbles and Serpentine SUMMONED A DEMON because she, again, does really weird shit. 
We brought back proof for Himal, fancy man at the Hook, and for the Red Squad. All in a day's work.

Here's the best part though, Thea. On the way back, with a shark person head in my bag, smelling horribly after falling into a stream of rich people poo and being very DONE with that whole day, I heard a noise. We were almost back to the surface and I was so ready to go get paid and have a bath, but it was different from the clingy-clangy sound the shark people had made and it just sounded.. I don't know, sad. 
It was coming from one of the pipes, all clogged up and messy, and it was clearly some sort of creature stuck in the pipe. No one deserves to be stuck in rich people poo, Thea. So I scooped it out and wiped it off with my cloak and Thea, it was the CUTEST DOG I HAVE EVER SEEN. A PUPPY, all alone and scared and flushed down a sewer pipe and homeless and sad.

I didn't have a choice, I had to take it with me! Right?! I washed me and him, and took him back to the sheashank with me. I'm not quite sure what to do with him now that I've got him but I tried to set him down outside in case he had a home to go to, but he just started whining and crying until I picked him back up. He's mine now, I think? 
I'll have to buy him a bag or something so I can carry him around for now, I need my hands free. At least until he gets too big to be carried around, I think he might be one of them big dogs the farmers used to pull stuff back in Aschenwald. Maybe when he's older I can teach him to do stuff? 

Anyway, I named him Frankie. Markas is a really good artist, I had him draw you a picture so you know what he looks like. 

There's a lot going on right now, Thea. Cross your fingers for me next week, what with the Feywild games and the nighttime prayers and the fact that I have to keep Frankie alive until he can fend for himself, somehow. 

Take care, I'l write you soon. 
Much love, Baine. "