Season 3 Wrap Up - Long Live the Queen

A halfling man steps forward, dressed more smartly and more soberly than his acquaintances or customers have seen before, clean-shaven and tidy-haired. As the chamber goes quiet he looks down at his hands, which tightly grip a russet-coloured cap. His mouth opens but nothing very audible comes out. He clears his throat and tries again.

‘Nerry Shortcrust, your excellencies. I, er, thank you kindly for letting me talk here. Most, uh…’ he glances up and around the room, then down again. ‘M-most of you know me, I think. I’m not much for talking in public. I just though I should, that is, I ought to say a bit about what happened.’

He pauses and seems to be waiting, as if he expects someone to interrupt. No one does.

‘Well, we went to the circus. It was Idari’s birthday just before, that’s my youngest. So we thought it’d be nice, you know. Well we went, like I said, and there was the big tent, and we went in – beg your pardon, I should have said, this was me and my wife, and our girls, and Miss Daisy was there, and…’ He looks at Tugark and a moment of sadness interrupts the worry on his face. ‘... and Mister Tugark and Miss Carrot, and Miss, uh, Lady Sunday, and Mister Grimes.’ Nerry does not look at Grimes.

‘And in the show, the magician – I mean to say, there was a sort of conjurer, I think his name was Illison, he was performing. He asked my girls to come up, for a trick I thought it was, and, well, I didn’t know, you see, none of us knew there was anything… and Idari wanted to go…’ He falls quiet a moment and collects himself. ‘So up they went, and took them to a sort of big painted cupboard, and then he asked me to go up and go to another cupboard, and then he put me in there and closed it.’

‘Inside there was a huge tall woman holding a torch – I mean, not in the cupboard, it wasn’t a cupboard inside, you see, it was a cave, or a tunnel, and the girls were there too, with this tall woman. She was dressed very strangely and, to be honest, I don’t mind saying I was rather frightened. She had a loud voice, I think she was trying to be quiet but she wasn’t. She told us the magic trick would take a long time and we were to wait there with her. She didn’t seem to mean us any harm, I don’t think, so I felt a little better. She said she was sorry we’d have to miss the show but we should come with her.’

‘She took us to another room, another cave I suppose it was, and there was a fire there, like a camp fire on the ground. There was a big huge chair that she sat in. We sat by the fire. There were some wooden toys there, she told the girls they could play with them. To be honest they don’t really play with toys like that any more but Idari did pick them up and look at them a bit. She said to the girls they were in a big magic trick and all their friends would be impressed later.’

‘Well we were there for quite some time, and it was cold, and the girls were bored, so I asked as nice as I could “can we leave now, please?” but the giant woman said it would spoil the trick. I let it go for a while but I wasn’t happy, but I didn’t want to worry the children so I didn’t say too much then. It seemed like we waited a long time. I asked again and she said it was very important for us to stay there. It seemed like she was getting a bit impatient.’

‘I was sure the magic show must have been over. It felt like more than an hour, even two. I kept saying, “please let us go, their mother is out there, she’ll be worried”. I told her people would come looking for us and she said, “Yes, I expect your wife is on her way here”. That really got me worried because I’d never seen nor heard of this giant woman before, so I said “what d’you know about my wife?” but she wouldn’t answer that.’

‘The girls were getting upset now. Idari was hungry. I didn’t have any food. Aila went quiet, which means she’s scared or unhappy. I tried everything I could think of – begging, threatening, offering money. She just said no, we couldn’t go. Said it was part of a big plan, we wouldn’t be harmed but she wouldn’t allow us to leave. I… I want to be fair, she didn’t threaten us exactly, she didn’t shout. But her voice was loud on its own, like I said, and she was very big, and we were mighty scared. Idari was crying a bit, but I gave her a cuddle and told her it would be okay, and she calmed down again. I decided we’d just have to wait. If I’d tried to take the girls away, that woman could have stopped us easily. One step and she’d have been on top of us for sure. And anyway it was very dark away from the fire, I wouldn’t have known where to go.’

‘It must’ve been two or three hours we were there. Then all of a sudden the woman got up. I was afraid she was going to… I don’t know what. Something bad. So I gathered the girls behind me, but she leant down and gave me the torch – a great big thing it was – and told me to go back down the tunnel and meet my wife. I didn’t believe her and said I wouldn’t leave the girls. She leant very close to my face and said “They stay with me to make sure you bring your wife back here. They’ll be safe. Go.” Then she put out a great big finger and gave me a push. I nearly fell over.’

‘I didn’t know what to do. She’d got herself sort of in between me and my daughters now, not right between, sort of off to the side, but she could easily stop me getting to them. I could see them just holding on to each other. I didn’t want them to be scared so I said “It’s okay, I’ll just see if your mam’s here, I won’t go anywhere.” I didn’t want to let them out of my sight either, so I sort of backed up away from the fire until I was near the tunnel. Then I could hear Taffeta’s voice down the tunnel and quickly fetched her back.’

‘When they all came in – the others were with her, the ones I said earlier – anyway the giant woman started talking to them. I didn’t really follow what she was saying, I was too confused and distracted. She talked about destiny and war and things. But then that’s when… when Mister Nowhere came out from behind the big chair.’

‘I don’t know how long he’d been there. But I know he didn’t seem anything like as surprised to see me and the girls as I was to see him. He seemed calm, sort of thing. Comfortable. Maybe a bit excited, even. And then the woman changed. She turned into… some sort of demon. That really frightened me. I hadn’t seen the creature before but I did hear Mister Grimes say the name “Pascal” to himself. This Pascal and Mister Nowhere seemed to know each other. Nowhere said something about being sorry that Pascal’s methods were extreme, or something like that. He didn’t seem too upset, mind.’

‘Well my wife quickly gathered up me and the girls and started taking us out of the cave. I remember being scared of what the demon might do, but he seemed to be just looking at Mister Nowhere, like he was waiting for instructions. I heard Mister Nowhere telling my wife not to go, but she kept moving us forward and we weren’t shy about going. Took young Carrot with us too. My wife took us back down the tunnel and sent us home, then she went back in.’

‘There, um, there isn’t much more to tell, really. The girls were in quite a state when we got home, they were asking what it was all about and I didn’t know what to tell them. Aila asked if the monster was going to hurt her ma. She asked if it would have hurt us if we hadn’t done what it said.’

‘I’ve wondered that myself, I must say. I don’t know the answer. Mister Tugark, I heard you say earlier that we volunteered, and how we weren’t threatened or held against our will. No disrespect to you, sir, I know you’ve done a lot for this town, and seeing as my girls are friends with your Carrot and all, but… We didn’t volunteer to be kept in a cave for hours, not knowing when we’d ever be allowed to leave. I don’t know if I can say we were threatened… She, I mean, he – didn’t say what would happen if we tried to leave. But for sure she told us she wouldn’t let us go, and… well, you’ve seen the size of me, Mister Tugark, and you saw the size of that woman. I surely felt threatened, I’m not too proud to say it. I felt scared. And you can imagine what my two girls felt.’

‘Anyway, I suppose… I don’t know. No harm done, you could say. I suppose so. But somehow I can’t see my daughters enjoying a trip to the circus again, or volunteering for any magic tricks. Maybe that’s no harm to you brave folks…’

He falls silent, looking down again at the cap twisted in his hands.

‘Well, I’ve taken enough of your time. Thank you for listening so patiently.’

Nerry gives a last nervous look at the assembly – everyone except Nowhere – and sits back down.

As a lilac-coloured female Tiefling steps forward, a large Goliath sitting a few rows from the back stops taking notes, inhales sharply, leans forward to stare intently at her for a moment before resuming scribbling on a scroll - now much more urgently…

Lady Sunday nods towards Val, “The angry, mad one is right. Historically, Nowhere has done a lot for this town and its inhabitants. He has educated them and protected them. His history speaks for itself. And no-one can argue that the outcome of this long-running conflict with Granny isn't preferable: that Daring may be safer in the future with her gone.

But good deeds and bad deeds don’t balance each other out. They stand separately and should be judged separately.”

Anyone with an ounce of Insight can tell there is a deeply introspective quality to these last words.

“Yes, during his time here, Nowhere has contributed to the protection of the town – but what of more recent times? How often has he actually been seen here in Daring during the last 12 months? How often has he spoken with the council or spent time with the people of Daring? Does he know what the best interests of this place are any more?

Aurelia, you said that this town was founded on the idea that adventurers were people who could help make this town safer. Safer for whom?”

She looks around the chamber.

“Many here can take care of themselves; maybe even rival the powers that Nowhere and Granny wield. But most beyond this chamber cannot. Do they feel safe around Nowhere? Around Val? Around Dorian? Around me? Even you, Aurelia and Rholor: you have citizen’s seats, but you are not truly part of the people – not anymore, not with the power you hold. And the nobles…?”

She scoffs.

“Coll and Cordelia probably have an idea of what the people need. Captain Thundercog seems honourable enough. Samed…. sorry, but I have literally no idea who or what you are.”

Lady Sunday pauses before continuing, looking at Nowhere now. “He has managed to bring more danger to Daring's gates than any other I can think of. Including myself. Marshalling an army of giants, ogres, and trolls on the borders of the town; making alliances with Pascal; trading with and learning from Granny over the years; more recently, using the worst fears of Daring’s inhabitants to "set them free". And so much of this and more he did independently of any will or knowledge of the council or the wider populace. What happens if he does something that goes directly against Daring or he starts something he can’t control or finish?

Personally, I suspect Nowhere, given the choice, would choose to leave Daring either for a time or for good. I doubt any of us has the balls or the will to execute him, anyway.

Regardless, I'm not entirely sure it is just Nowhere who is on trial here. Many have and will say that anything he did that was dangerous to Daring was done in the name of its safety. I won’t argue with that – not because I necessarily agree but because I feel it is irrelevant: there are better ways to protect and grow a town and its people. It is their interests you should be thinking of and whether anyone's single-minded approach is suitable for a community; or whether any of you still even want to build a community. Or”

And she points back out the doors of the chamber.

“Whether they want any of us here anymore.”

Sergeant Vimes stares at Nowhere, Val and Tugark each for several seconds then steps forward and addresses the Council and folk in the hall.
Many notice that Grimes looks tired but also - for once - world-weary and older than his years – as though his usual energy, conviction and drive has drained from him.

“Members of the Council, citizens of Daring Heights…

I realise that I do not have the trust of some – perhaps many - of the citizens of Daring – particularly among the newer arrivals who have not seen and experienced some past events – and I fully understand why that is the case.

I stand here merely to vouch for Nowhere as a friend both in terms of his past efforts to protect Daring from several significant threats and from the number of times when we have stood together against evil.

I do not and cannot agree with or condone many of Nowhere’s methods or how Mistress Thistletop’s family was ill-used during our bizarre ‘test of free will’ at the Circus.

Whilst Nowhere’s actions and activities leading up to the battle with Granny and her army are rightly a cause for concern and sanction, I would remind everyone – especially our newer citizens – of the danger Granny has always posed and that her activities and manipulation of people ever since Daring came into being were not unknown and many of my reports – first to the Mayor and then to the Council have highlighted this.

A cleverer man than me once said ‘All that evil requires to triumph is for good men to do nothing’. That is not an empty quote – I’ve seen it happen and I vowed to never let that be the case again – anywhere I was present.

I am concerned that the danger Granny posed might be minimised at these proceedings and, indeed, find it concerning that such an evil being is given any suggestion of formal recognition by referring to her as a ‘foreign power, namely Queen Granny Longtooth of Witchhold’.

I am first and foremost a simple copper. I took an oath to protect and serve the citizens of Daring Heights and combat any threats – domestic and foreign. I admit that I have looked at Authority for orders and then filtered those orders through a fine mesh of common sense, adding a generous scoop of creative misunderstanding and maybe even incipient deafness if circumstances demanded, because Authority rarely descends to street level.
I can see now from the viewpoint of some that I am not trusted to serve officially as a member of the Watch so I will be tendering my resignation immediately after these proceedings.”

Grimes looks Nowhere straight in the face.

“As a friend and force against evil and past protector of Daring long before many who now judge came to this land, I trust Nowhere and stand by him as a character reference but, whilst I believe his motives were good, I cannot in all conscious agree with all of his methods.”

Grimes returns slowly to his seat and sits down with his head up.

(With respect to Sir Terry Pratchett.)

(There's not enough Inspiration points in the world...this is incredible.)

Throughout these various statements, the Council has been obviously moved, though they do their best to calm their expressions. When Taffeta sits down again, and all others have said their piece, Captain Jadefist stands.

[Anyone else who wants to make a statement, please do and we will assume it happened before this]

"We have heard a lot of details and passionate words today. Now we will give Nowhere an opportunity to respond." She motions to Nowhere. "You do not have to make a statement on your behalf, but this is your opportunity to do so before we retire for our deliberations."

After Nowhere's testimony, the Council withdraws, and the doors are opened to allow people outside while they deliberate. Nowhere is escorted to a side chamber.

The Council's discussion lasts some time, and the winter sun has already dipped behind the mountains to the west and the lanterns have been lit in the street by the time people are called back in for their decision.

Once everyone has taken their seats, Nowhere is walked to the centre of the room before the Council. Aurelia stands, and for a moment it is strange to see two scholars who have studied Kantas and defended the town for years standing mere feet apart, a table between them, one about to pass judgement on the other.

"Thank you all for being here, and thank you to all those who have been willing to speak before us today. We recognise this is not an easy thing to do. Equally, this is not an easy situation to preside over. The Council has heard the testimonies from both character and event witnesses, and has come to a decision regarding Nowhere, adventurer and former librarian.

When discussing this we had some key determinations to make. Many of Nowhere's most egregious actions were done far beyond Daring's walls, can this Council hold him to account for them? Nowhere consorts freely with fiends and giants to an exceptional degree and his motives and intentions are even now unclear, does he pose a threat to this town?

Ultimately Nowhere, we came to several decisions.

You will be held to account for everything you have done that we are aware of. What happened to the Thistletop family was imprisonment on the part of your associate Pascal, and regardless of your intentions you were fully aware of the dangers involved and so are responsible. The murder of the unnamed captives in the mountains is similarly your responsibility. These crimes all hang on your shoulders. The war against Granny could be deemed a danger to Daring, but it is your decision-making and actions leading up to the battle that are of the greatest concern to us. They show a crucial disregard for humanoid lives.

You have therefore been deemed criminally dangerous to Daring Heights and its people. Our decision then was a choice between exile - our traditional form of punishment in this town - or execution."

Aurelia pauses and walks around the table and comes to stand in front of it, so there are no barriers between her and Nowhere, eyes cast down. When she finally raises her eyes to his again, there is a look of disappointment there along with an expression of celestial finality in her Aasimar features.

"Nowhere, I want you to know that that decision came down to a single vote. You are hereby exiled from Daring Heights and its lands for eternity."

As voices murmur in the crowd, Aurelia's wings unfold from behind her, and her full angelic demeanour is displayed. "You will be escorted to the border or a portal at your choice and you will be gone from our lands within the hour. Know that should you ever return to Daring or its environs ever again, the full force of our might will be brought down upon you.

I will kill you, Nowhere. Now make your preparations and learn to be better. You have so much else in you than this garbled philosophy."

[Happy New Year!]