Post by Andy D on Oct 18, 2024 20:06:57 GMT
The On Deck Pitch
Mendal blessed his friends, Archie and Kavel, with a summary of his last adventure led by the organiser of the mission herself, Councillor Aurelia Arcselon, who was also unexpectedly one of the party members too.
The dwarven cleric then remembered something he left out of his summary that he wanted to bring up with one of the pair before him. “Oh, by the way, when Aurelia did that Steel Wind Strike spell you do, Archie. She did it with Safire’s sabre - an actual sword - instead of taking the piss like you do with a dagger.”
Kavel did not know his human wizard friend to be a prankster. What Mendal said caught his attention. “Is that true Archie, you are taking the piss? Out of who?”
Archie looked at Mendal with a disgruntled expression he was finding hard to suppress, and then turned to Kavel and shook his head and hand. “No Kavel, there’s no mickey-taking.”
“Why do you cast Steel Wind Strike with a tiny dagger, then?” Mendal asked accusingly. “That’s one of your only badass spells and you destroy its cool factor by brandishing a tiny poker in the casting. What’s more, it's an obsidian dagger. It’s a relic.”
The elderly wizard sighed a little as he brought his hands together intertwining his fingers. The two small actions had helped him compose himself, and he felt ready to explain, or better yet, correct his overbearing friend. “What business do I have in carrying any sword? I fenced as part of my education, but I’m no swashbuckler. A sword by my side would get in the way, and I note Aurelia, from your account Mendal had to borrow a sword to cast the spell. Well now; a dagger is much more easily carried, and depending on how small a dagger you wish to carry, you might even conceal it. The spell Steel Wind Strike does not necessarily even require a blade. As long as the weapon chosen for the spell’s casting costs at least 1sp then that is sufficient and the damage potential is still the same. Even just an eating knife, as long as it costs 1sp would be sufficient, and is more portable, and could even be concealed.”
When Archie reached his conclusion, he smiled. He could tell from Mendal’s changed facial expression that he had convinced Mendal and no further jibes on the matter would be forthcoming.
“Why the obsidian dagger though?” Mendal asked still in disbelief, but also so as to avoid having to say he accepted Archie’s reasoning either by actually saying as much, or by remaining silent.
“Why not? It’s actually a magical dagger, which puts its value above that of most blades, and also means as long as it remains magical it’s unbreakable too, making it the most sturdy of obsidian daggers.”
“All right,” grunted Mendal, conveying as best as he intended that he could see Archie’s point.
Not wishing to belabour the point, Archie accepted his victory and moved the conversation on to a matter that interested him about Mendal’s recent adventure. “Aurelia actively seeking work for the adventuring community - it could be seen as exploitative, but so far it would be fair to say adventurers and the Dawnlands both benefit; the adventurers get more employment opportunities, and the Dawnlands extend their network of allies and trade partners.”
“300gp I earned and this Robe of Useful Items, they call it - not a bad take at all.”
“Yes,” Archie agreed, looking over the robe that Mendal had thrown onto the kitchen table along with a tray of biscuits. “That reminds me, I must have a word with the Council about the Kantas Mentorship Programme down in Port Ffirst. It seems to be passably reputable, but the contracts are highly in favour of the middleman business that is KMP.”
“Who were your comrades for this adventurer sales pitch Aurelia took you on?” The goliath asked, as Mendal had skimmed over descriptions of them during his story summary. Mendel had opted to focus on his retelling of the time he called for divine intervention from the dwarven god Moradin, and Moradin had answered. This story was being retold because the marids’ wished to hear examples of the adventurers’ exploits. Mendal went all in with his greatest achievement to date. One of the marids pointed out that it was really Moradin’s exploit that was being told. This disgruntled Mendal, who remarked back that, “Moradin does not choose to channel his divine might through just anyone.” In addition to retelling the story of his divine intervention, Mendal had recounted his casting of a powerful Spiritual Guardian spell, a first time casting of Control Water, and some earthen elemental skull bashing with his sentient elven hammers - to keep the battle hungry hammers happy, of course. But, what about the other members?
The Pitch Battle Party
“Did everyone represent the Dawnland Adventurers well?” Kavel pressed.
“Yeah,” Mendal replied. “And you know what, despite a lot of them stealing my biscuits, not a single dickhead amongst them, which is unusual, isn’t it?”
Mendal went on to describe his fellow party members.
“Artur gets creepier every bloody time I see him!” Mendal shivered a little remembering Artur’s creepy voice inside his head thanks to the spell Rary’s Telepathic Bond that Artur cast. “He still doesn't drink, he’s no fun, the wet blanket. He’s also worse than you,” Mendal glanced at Archie, “for overusing telekinesis, the lazy bugger. Artur’s arms, I swear they’ve atrophied. His physically weak looking body makes it look like I did a half shit job when I raised him back from the dead! Good psychic attacks though, you’d hate him Kavel.”
Kavel hated psychic attacks. Every other form of attacks bounced off of the goliath, except for psychic attacks.
“On the other hand, you would have loved Damian, thicccess half-elf I’ve ever seen. Not only is he tough, and mean with that great sword of his, but he seems to practise some kind of runic giant magic!”
Kavel was indeed pleased. The resident strength-enthusiast would be keen to have the runic knight train at Kavel’s Corner. All are welcome at Kavel’s Corner, but especially the strong, and now especially those who can enlarge their bodies to giant-size - Kavel’s always in need of giant training partners.
“Safire - now she’s got flair!” Mendal carried on. He almost went back to his point about a sabre being much better than a dagger for casting the spell Steel Wind Strike… but then he thought better of it. “Her lightning spells impressed the three marids who were judging us. She’s able to move herself out of harm's way with the wind which is pretty nifty.” A fond grin crept over Mendal’s face. “And she proudly shows off the branding of Moradin left over from my Raise Dead casting over the spot where she took the fatal blow, right between her tits. It’s a great promotion for Moradin, and a great view, haha!”
Finished laughing about his comment about Safire’s chest, Mendal went on to describe the final member of his party. “New guy Tissain’s pretty good. Another elf in the party actually! Three in total. He got ruffed up a bit by the summoned earthen elementals. But, he had the wits to put distance between him and them, so he could put his archery to good use. He’s got decent skills like Sorrel. Shame he didn’t have a magical bow though, but Aurelia gave him one in the end.”
“Good team,” both Kavel and Archie agreed.
“Not bad, yeah,” Mendal responded. “Although Tissain's little dragon, Melsys needs better training. Stole my biscuit tray, the little shit.”
Kavel voiced the confusion both he and Archie were experiencing. “But there is a biscuit tray full of biscuits on the table.”
What Mendal did not explain was that the little dragon had begun eating the second tray of biscuits that were brought out at Aurelia’s house. A second tray was brought out, because Mendal had greedily eaten the first tray of biscuits. The tray he had brought back was a third tray refill of even more biscuits. Mendal had mouthed polite words asking whether he could take some biscuits away with him, but he never really waited for a response. Question asked, Mendel had then picked up the tray as if he was entitled to it, and walked out the door whilst saying his goodbyes.
Mendal looked at Kavel confused. “And?”