The Great Spider Heist - 26th Sep 2022, '23 & '24 - Elarris
Sept 30, 2024 21:51:58 GMT
Andy D and Zaspar like this
Post by Elarris on Sept 30, 2024 21:51:58 GMT
Some events are just events. Other events are meant to be.
Some worlds can detonate, and nobody cares. Apart from the inhabitants, obviously, but they aren’t in the record. They do not count.
Some children have to live whatever the cost. They count.
And so, for certain events, there are the Monks and the Monastery.
Dark matter is no mystery to them. They know that nine-tenths of the universe is the knowledge of the position and direction of everything in the other tenth. Nine-tenths of the universe is the paperwork.
And the Monastery makes sure the edits are correct.
When questioned by the suffering innocent, the victorious sadists, the doomed gods, the frustrated angels, they reply that the universe is, instant by instant, re-created anew. “There is, in truth, no Past, only a memory of the Past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.”
This answer is rarely deemed sufficient by the questioners, but then, they are simply passing through time, and they have no Role To Play. Their opinions mean nothing.
The Monks are concerned with Events.
--
Lu-Tze opened his eyes and found himself in a cobbled street in a strange city. He could see a troubled knight in mithral armour on his way to a meeting.
Lu-Tze closed his eyes and walked through the doors of perception. The knight… Elarris… sat in an Inn and thought of the past.
Lu-Tze opened his eyes, shaking. There were doors he should not open. There were events in the past and the future of that knights mind that were Terrors and beyond him. He gasped, held on to the wall and tried again. There were doors he avoided this time.
Elarris sat in the Three Headed Dragon, considering matters, when a gentleman sat beside him.
“My, you look like a thirsty boy,” the gentleman said.
“I like to work,” Elarris replied.
“A working boy? What remarkable luck,” the gentleman nodded. “Would you meet me in my rooms in two hour’s time. I have some… let’s call it work for you.”
There was a pause.
“I should stress I’m not trying to have sex with you,” the gentleman added.
“I’m aware of that,” Elarris sighed. “No-one tries to have sex with me.”
Then Elarris pushed past Lu-Tze and the image faded. Lu-Tze rose and fell into step behind him. This was the man. This was the task. The outcome was an Event and it Must Be.
Lu-Tze permitted himself a brief dip into the streams of the future and emerged depressed. This little group were so hopeless he had a busy day ahead.
--
Alferron’s chambers at the Gilded Balloon were elegantly proportioned. Food had been provided. Elarris, Matched and Safire were just picking at the remains of the spread when Alferron stood up.
“Well then, welcome to the Gilded Balloon. Everybody eaten? Good. Everybody sober? Close enough. Most of you know each other already. Okay. Before we start, nobody's on the line here yet. What I'm about to propose to you happens to be both highly lucrative and highly dangerous. If that doesn't sound like your particular brand of vodka, help yourself to as much food as you like and safe journey. No hard feelings. Otherwise, come with me.”
They arranged themselves in his study.
The Gilded Balloon was lit by warm sunlight.
Alferron held up a large drawing of a spider.
“Behold – the drow silkspider. Otherwise known as the sweet potato pie come to papa and make him rich spider. But only to me. Farmed by drow in highly secure compounds at the heart of the incredibly dangerous drow city of Aeschira. Are you with me?”
Elarris, Matches and Safire looked at each other, back at Alferron and nodded.
They arranged to buy a few scrolls, secure transportation and head off.
--
Aeschira was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell.
They could see drow riding tamed ankeg but they weren’t sure they could make it across the city and the ankeg were….
--
The Gilded Balloon was lit by warm sunlight.
Alferron leaned across the table. “I have been training an ankeg. I’ve got one waiting to meet us when we get there.”
They arranged to buy a few scrolls, secure transportation and head off.
Aeschira was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell.
A tame ankeg awaited them, chittering, and tolerating their presence.
“Its name is Karix,” Alferron declared.
They arrived outside the house and realised they had not thought of a way of getting in.
--
The Gilded Balloon was lit by warm sunlight.
Matches pushed back from table. “I have a plan. If Elarris and I stay at Zola’s for a while we will run a second front entry through the city sewers. We should get there at the same time as you two and we can find a way to link up.”
They arranged to buy a few scrolls, secure transportation and head off.
Aeschira was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell.
“So,” Zola said after the servants left the room. “how do you plan to find your way to the spider farm underground?”
--
The Gilded Balloon was lit by warm sunlight.
“We need to get some plans of the target,” Elarris added. “I’ll see if I can rinse the library. Do you think Zola knows which librarians might have a gambling problem?”
Matches laughed. “I suspect the answer is yes…”
They arranged to buy a few scrolls, secure transportation and head off.
Aeschira was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell.
Elarris worked the balding librarian at the old snake eyes until his debts were too high to refuse any request. The plans in his pocket, Elarris and Matches headed through the sewers until they came to the right tubes.
--
Lu-Tze held on to the wall and sent a barrage of message spells to the Valley.
“I need back up. These fools are idiots. I’m running out of chronomancy. We’re going to need at least three crash teams, and fast.
And so, with a few hiccups and many, many scrolls purchased on the way to Aeschira, which really was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell. The urban planners deserved mostly all they got. Although perhaps not the last bits. But in the end, Matches talked his and Elarris way out of the toilet cubicle just as Safire’s explosive magic shook the entire house.
“You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!” Alferron said, as he fled the drow guards, taunting them away from the gates.
Matches secured vast quantities of spider eggs and disappeared into his talisman with them. Elarris busted down a door. Safire and Alferron rounded up spiders as large as a cat and they made their way through the sewers.
A security guard with a nasty looking blade stood before them, attacked and tore them to pieces in seconds.
--
The Gilded Balloon was lit by warm sunlight.
“I figure they may have guards in the sewers,” Safire suggested. “We should be ready.”
They arranged to buy a few scrolls, secure transportation and head off.
Aeschira was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell.
Matches talked his and Elarris way out of the toilet cubicle just as Safire’s explosive magic shook the entire house.
Matches secured vast quantities of spider eggs and disappeared into his talisman with them. Elarris busted down a door. Safire and Alferron rounded up spiders as large as a cat and they made their way through the sewers.
A security guard with a nasty looking blade stood before them, Matches unleashed a wall of fire Alferron tore up the unhappy guard and Safire delivered the coup de grace before Elarris could draw his sword.
They herded the spiders onto a teleportation circle and checked into the AirD&D Alferron had booked
“Now then,” Matches said relieved. “We made it. Nothing can go wrong. I told Zola we’d let her know when we made it…” he paused. “Fuck… she’s here. And she’s brought Lord Jaezred.”
--
Lu-Tze’s remains are honoured at the Time of the Passing. His final act is sometimes discussed in hushed tones. The Monks often debate his decision for decades every Tuesday lunchtime. They usually agree he stood no chance against such outlandish ripples in time, space and sanity.
No-one knows what will happen next, but it isn’t in the Books.
Some worlds can detonate, and nobody cares. Apart from the inhabitants, obviously, but they aren’t in the record. They do not count.
Some children have to live whatever the cost. They count.
And so, for certain events, there are the Monks and the Monastery.
Dark matter is no mystery to them. They know that nine-tenths of the universe is the knowledge of the position and direction of everything in the other tenth. Nine-tenths of the universe is the paperwork.
And the Monastery makes sure the edits are correct.
When questioned by the suffering innocent, the victorious sadists, the doomed gods, the frustrated angels, they reply that the universe is, instant by instant, re-created anew. “There is, in truth, no Past, only a memory of the Past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.”
This answer is rarely deemed sufficient by the questioners, but then, they are simply passing through time, and they have no Role To Play. Their opinions mean nothing.
The Monks are concerned with Events.
--
Lu-Tze opened his eyes and found himself in a cobbled street in a strange city. He could see a troubled knight in mithral armour on his way to a meeting.
Lu-Tze closed his eyes and walked through the doors of perception. The knight… Elarris… sat in an Inn and thought of the past.
Lu-Tze opened his eyes, shaking. There were doors he should not open. There were events in the past and the future of that knights mind that were Terrors and beyond him. He gasped, held on to the wall and tried again. There were doors he avoided this time.
Elarris sat in the Three Headed Dragon, considering matters, when a gentleman sat beside him.
“My, you look like a thirsty boy,” the gentleman said.
“I like to work,” Elarris replied.
“A working boy? What remarkable luck,” the gentleman nodded. “Would you meet me in my rooms in two hour’s time. I have some… let’s call it work for you.”
There was a pause.
“I should stress I’m not trying to have sex with you,” the gentleman added.
“I’m aware of that,” Elarris sighed. “No-one tries to have sex with me.”
Then Elarris pushed past Lu-Tze and the image faded. Lu-Tze rose and fell into step behind him. This was the man. This was the task. The outcome was an Event and it Must Be.
Lu-Tze permitted himself a brief dip into the streams of the future and emerged depressed. This little group were so hopeless he had a busy day ahead.
--
Alferron’s chambers at the Gilded Balloon were elegantly proportioned. Food had been provided. Elarris, Matched and Safire were just picking at the remains of the spread when Alferron stood up.
“Well then, welcome to the Gilded Balloon. Everybody eaten? Good. Everybody sober? Close enough. Most of you know each other already. Okay. Before we start, nobody's on the line here yet. What I'm about to propose to you happens to be both highly lucrative and highly dangerous. If that doesn't sound like your particular brand of vodka, help yourself to as much food as you like and safe journey. No hard feelings. Otherwise, come with me.”
They arranged themselves in his study.
The Gilded Balloon was lit by warm sunlight.
Alferron held up a large drawing of a spider.
“Behold – the drow silkspider. Otherwise known as the sweet potato pie come to papa and make him rich spider. But only to me. Farmed by drow in highly secure compounds at the heart of the incredibly dangerous drow city of Aeschira. Are you with me?”
Elarris, Matches and Safire looked at each other, back at Alferron and nodded.
They arranged to buy a few scrolls, secure transportation and head off.
--
Aeschira was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell.
They could see drow riding tamed ankeg but they weren’t sure they could make it across the city and the ankeg were….
--
The Gilded Balloon was lit by warm sunlight.
Alferron leaned across the table. “I have been training an ankeg. I’ve got one waiting to meet us when we get there.”
They arranged to buy a few scrolls, secure transportation and head off.
Aeschira was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell.
A tame ankeg awaited them, chittering, and tolerating their presence.
“Its name is Karix,” Alferron declared.
They arrived outside the house and realised they had not thought of a way of getting in.
--
The Gilded Balloon was lit by warm sunlight.
Matches pushed back from table. “I have a plan. If Elarris and I stay at Zola’s for a while we will run a second front entry through the city sewers. We should get there at the same time as you two and we can find a way to link up.”
They arranged to buy a few scrolls, secure transportation and head off.
Aeschira was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell.
“So,” Zola said after the servants left the room. “how do you plan to find your way to the spider farm underground?”
--
The Gilded Balloon was lit by warm sunlight.
“We need to get some plans of the target,” Elarris added. “I’ll see if I can rinse the library. Do you think Zola knows which librarians might have a gambling problem?”
Matches laughed. “I suspect the answer is yes…”
They arranged to buy a few scrolls, secure transportation and head off.
Aeschira was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell.
Elarris worked the balding librarian at the old snake eyes until his debts were too high to refuse any request. The plans in his pocket, Elarris and Matches headed through the sewers until they came to the right tubes.
--
Lu-Tze held on to the wall and sent a barrage of message spells to the Valley.
“I need back up. These fools are idiots. I’m running out of chronomancy. We’re going to need at least three crash teams, and fast.
And so, with a few hiccups and many, many scrolls purchased on the way to Aeschira, which really was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell. The urban planners deserved mostly all they got. Although perhaps not the last bits. But in the end, Matches talked his and Elarris way out of the toilet cubicle just as Safire’s explosive magic shook the entire house.
“You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!” Alferron said, as he fled the drow guards, taunting them away from the gates.
Matches secured vast quantities of spider eggs and disappeared into his talisman with them. Elarris busted down a door. Safire and Alferron rounded up spiders as large as a cat and they made their way through the sewers.
A security guard with a nasty looking blade stood before them, attacked and tore them to pieces in seconds.
--
The Gilded Balloon was lit by warm sunlight.
“I figure they may have guards in the sewers,” Safire suggested. “We should be ready.”
They arranged to buy a few scrolls, secure transportation and head off.
Aeschira was a mess. One frozen river, one river of fire. In the middle, a puddly of lukewarm water and a pillar of steam ringing a bell.
Matches talked his and Elarris way out of the toilet cubicle just as Safire’s explosive magic shook the entire house.
Matches secured vast quantities of spider eggs and disappeared into his talisman with them. Elarris busted down a door. Safire and Alferron rounded up spiders as large as a cat and they made their way through the sewers.
A security guard with a nasty looking blade stood before them, Matches unleashed a wall of fire Alferron tore up the unhappy guard and Safire delivered the coup de grace before Elarris could draw his sword.
They herded the spiders onto a teleportation circle and checked into the AirD&D Alferron had booked
“Now then,” Matches said relieved. “We made it. Nothing can go wrong. I told Zola we’d let her know when we made it…” he paused. “Fuck… she’s here. And she’s brought Lord Jaezred.”
--
Lu-Tze’s remains are honoured at the Time of the Passing. His final act is sometimes discussed in hushed tones. The Monks often debate his decision for decades every Tuesday lunchtime. They usually agree he stood no chance against such outlandish ripples in time, space and sanity.
No-one knows what will happen next, but it isn’t in the Books.