So You’re a Herald, Now What? - Orianna, Digs, and Frigus
Jun 7, 2024 16:50:54 GMT
Elias/Frigus/Chartreuse/Azriel, Wixspartan, and 1 more like this
Post by Tom M on Jun 7, 2024 16:50:54 GMT
So You’re a Herald, Now What?
RP Orianna Èirigh, Digs, Frigus & Waffles (Elias/Frigus/Chartreuse/Azriel)
It is a short walk from the Yew Tree in the Dusk Yard to Orianna’s home, but for Digs it passes in the blink of an eye. He realises they are there when he sees a tree bend in such a way as to seem like it is waving at Orianna, but it blends right back into the surrounding street so fast he could have imagined it. Except, he now remembers her telling him that such a thing may occur when they are near. That it was part of the protections she herself has put around her home.
She leads the way inside and much is still the same. There’s a slightly calmer atmosphere, the fog of protection clearly draped over everything, even inside. Orianna gestures for the two kobolds to make their way to the kitchen and tells Waffles it would be easier for him to fly over the house and settle in the courtyard behind the house, where she will open the door beside the garden so he can poke his head inside.
This is the first time both Frigus and Digs have seen Calla’s body too. It would be breathtaking, especially when the light hits her just so. Except after what they saw in the Fugue Plane, it makes all of their stomachs twist into knots.
“Iced tea or iced coffee, which would you like with your sandwiches?” Orianna asks them, bringing out the bits to make both.
Digs lingers a while at the statue before violently shaking his head and going inside. He turns to Orianna. “Tea please.”
She nods, the barest of smiles on her lips. “And for you Frigus?”
Their eyes linger on Calla’s form for a moment and they clutch at something in their bag but withdraw their hand.
“I think an iced coffee would be helpful please.”
Orianna nods and begins preparing their drinks.
“Thanks Orianna.”
Frigus looks over at Digs with a soft smile. “I know that must’ve been… been… well a lot to take in… I just want to make it clear, you can choose not to become a Herald if you don’t want to be one. We’ll still support you either way.”
“He’s right,” Orianna starts, glancing over her shoulder to Digs. “Whether you become a Herald or not, doesn’t matter. You are part of our family of friends, our community.”
Digs climbs up onto a chair and tucks his head in between his knees. “It’s all too much and it’s too fast and I don’t understand any of it and and and-” he shudders and dry retches.
Frigus doesn’t say anything but almost instinctually reaches out with some soothing magic. A feeling of comfort like sitting in a bed of feathery pillows washes over the room. Digs hears the clunk of a glass being put down in front of him and Orianna saying, “Digs, breathe. It’s okay. Take your time…” Two more clunks and a chair being pulled out from the table.
A hand shoots out and suddenly Digs is slurping at the tea, at first frantically, but the pace slows down. He pops his head up. “How do you always have really good stuff to eat?”
That makes Orianna blush a little. “My fathers and I, we are from a place where we like to learn many things. One of my father’s passions is cooking. I try to learn what I can but he is the real connoisseur.” She smiles.
Digs focusses on breathing slowly and inhaling the aroma of the iced tea as he looks around. “It reminds me of this really fancy hotel in Neverwinter I stayed for a while. They always had nice things.”
Frigus has cozied themself into a comfy chair and started knitting a little dagger cover for Digs but looks up and smiles at that. “Maybe once we have Calla back we can all visit there to celebrate?”
Digs returns the smile. “Yeah, that’d be nice. They knew something was up, but they never saw me. I went somewhere else after I ate a load of rat poison they put down. Made me really sick.” He sips at the tea and the smile fades away. “Guess I can’t just hide from all this though, can I?”
Frigus chokes mid slurp of iced coffee at the mention of eating rat poison but quickly recomposes themselves. “Not really, but… I guess… well no… I don’t want to try to sway you either way…” They pause for a moment. “Maybe it’s better to just answer questions that you ask, you’ve already proven yourself to be a fair judge today.”
“Did… did I do the right thing? Do you think?” He looks rapidly between Frigus and Orianna.
“With the judgement? You didn’t punish someone for genuine mistakes,” Frigus says. “I think that’s the right thing to do.”
“You brought a level of learned wisdom and thoughtful grace to how you approached the situation,” Orianna intones. She lifts her tall glass of ice tea, swirling it and adds, “It shows a strength not many have.”
She takes a long sip of the refreshing drink, letting its sweetness tantalise her tongue. “As for hiding from this, you could. But what would that achieve?” She sets the drink down and folds her hands over one another on the table. “Ask anything that is on your mind, Digs. We will answer honestly and truthfully. Calla had many questions and we were there for her when she asked them.” Orianna looks through the window to the glittering amethyst statue of her sister. “She wasn’t certain about what to do or what it all meant either. But she came to her answer all on her own, without us convincing her one way or the other.“ She turns back to look at Digs, the meaning behind her words clear.
Digs smiles weakly at Frigus as he exhales and nods his head in thanks before turning to Orianna. “I think the main thing I want to ask is… do you know anyone who’s said no?”
She nods. “My father.”
Digs cocks his head. "And what happened to him?"
“How do you mean?”
"Like… he just said no and everything was fine and everyone just moved on?"
“Hmm, I suppose, put simply, that was how it went…” she says, thinking. Then she frowns, shaking her head. “I cannot tell you every reason my father said no. If you want to know that, I suggest you speak to him directly, yourself, Digs. What I do know is that the moment he uttered the words, the mantle passed to me, his daughter, and my father has been able to continue with his life as he wishes.”
As she finishes speaking, a shadow ripples across the dragon scales on her face, dimming the starlight in her violet eyes for a brief moment.
Digs glances at Frigus to confirm that he caught that too, but doesn’t say anything as he mentally shifts gear slightly.
The rhythmic clicks and clacks of Frigus’ knitting slows to a gentle stop and his eyes narrow a bit as their head tilts to one side, not in an accusatory way but almost as if checking they spotted the signs correctly that Orianna wasn’t saying everything.
“I think maybe… if there’s something else to this then it would be better to share it with Digs? They have a big decision to make so they should know the full impact of both decisions… I don’t mind waiting to ask your father if you don’t feel comfortable sharing it yourself?”
Orianna shakes her head, brow pinching together. “No, I-… I can tell you,” she says to both of them. “This happened before we met Frigus. Please understand my hesitancy to mention it is not to deter but rather what it means for me, personally, after… after recent events.” She half nods towards the window, clearly indicating towards Calla, but does not fully look in her direction. She takes a deep breath, using the small moment to make sure she is composed and won’t get overwhelmed by whatever emotions may come up.
“The sequence of events began after my father had said no to becoming the Herald of the Star Mother, just when I had found out I could become her Herald. My father, Thaneni, they were captured by Abrax, the First Frost. My father, Rimmon, nearly died when it happened. We barely got to him in time. If it wasn’t for C-Calla, he might not have made it.” She sniffles, absently tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “My father was captured because, until I took the Vows, he was their only way to use Stellarum’s piece. By the time I went to rescue my father from the First Frost, I was the Star Herald and my father was safe… but disposable to them. The Wheel was on our side that day, however. We were very fortunate to have gotten out of there alive.
“So you see,” she says, looking at Digs. “Saying no does not necessarily guarantee safety for you or those around you.”
“I’m sorry to have pressed you to share and that you had to experience that Orianna,” Frigus says. They glance towards Calla. “We will get her back.”
Digs nods earnestly along with Frigus as they encourage Orianna. The tiefling does not say anything, merely nods and wipes at her eyes. Digs winces at the sight of Orianna crying, but doesn’t know how to deal with it and just sits awkwardly for a minute.
“So… your father passed it to you?” he asks. “It’s not like that with me though so if I say no do they just find someone else?”
Frigus’ eyes shift over to Digs. “If you are a Herald it likely means all those in your bloodline have the potential to be one too. They might not be a suitable fit for the Archwyrm, but siblings and parents could be next in line if not you. My younger sister would likely not be chosen by Thalisdraza to take my place but… if for some reason I am no longer a Herald it’s not impossible.”
The blue kobold looks at the floor thinking and seems to be getting more and more anxious.
Orianna notices. “It was one of Calla’s concerns too,” she says quietly. “But as we told her and have already said here, today, we will support you no matter what decision you choose.” She attempts a smile and though there’s the slight glisten of tears, it is a genuine one.
Frigus lays a comforting little claw on Orianna. “This is a good point. Calla had concerns about being able to change her mind, this decision doesn’t have to be a permanent commitment, if you decide you don’t want to be a Herald in future you can give up the position. We did ask what might hold Calla back from saying yes, I think it would be helpful to know the same about you?”
Digs thinks for a second. “I guess… I’m trying to be honest right? I think… I don’t want to have to do what a dragon says. I don’t want to have to do what anyone says. I want to be able to think about whether it’s the right choice or not and I’ve made all kinds of mistakes like the whole armour thing maybe, and jumping out of that balloon, and the time I ate rat poison, but they were my mistakes.”
“I understand that feeling. In all honesty, no part of me has ever worried that Thalisdraza would ask something of me, something I didn’t want to do. Our goals align directly, she wants to protect baby dragons and I want to help raise more dragons to be helpful and not hurt people, just like I’ve done with Waffles.”
They pause and look over at Orianna searching her face for if she feels the same way about Stellarum and they find it easily, but she is clearly thinking of something else too.
“Maybe it’s not the same for your Archwyrm,” Frigus continues. “Your goals might not align as neatly. But it’s not a fey deal or devil contract. You can choose to renounce your oath if you realise the promises no longer work for you.”
“Digs,” Orianna starts, “you once asked me if the Archwyrms have ever made us do anything dangerous. My answer then still holds true now, but as with all things there is nuance to it. No Archwyrm would ever ask their Herald to abandon who they are or what they would strive to achieve before or after their Vows have been taken.”
She clasps her hands together in front of her chest, one cradled by the other. “My Vows are things I did not realise I was already doing — or trying to do. But that does not mean they would not take me to dangerous places. The Plane of Time, for example.” She opens her palms and gestures at herself. “In order to help Henri find Throdrazz’s key, we needed to travel across time. We learned much, and found their key… But as a consequence, when I came back I was aged. I had lost six precious years with Gerhard and my fathers.”
Digs’ eyebrow ridges tie themselves in knots. “That… I can’t even wrap my head around that. But do you regret it? Do you think it was worth it?”
“For what it helped us learn, for what it helped Henri to understand… I say it was worth it.”
Digs sits in thought for a while. “So the vows are the big thing then right? If I’m already doing all the stuff in the vows and I agree with them then… I’m not promising to do anything I wasn’t already doing. But if the vows are evil then I can walk away. Right?”
“If the vows are ones you don’t agree with for whatever reason, you can say no, and walk away,” Orianna clarifies, nodding.
“I don’t know what the vows will be,” Frigus chimes in. “They are different for every Archwyrm. But I agree with Orianna, they were things I was already doing and even things I didn’t think I could do before. I think maybe that’s happening for you already.”
As they finish speaking they come to the final stitch of the knife holder they’ve been working on for Digs. It’s a small and simple crossbody strap with Malgrys’ slayer written across it. They slip it off the needles and place it on the table for him.
Digs checks the surprisingly perfect fit on the wicked black blade’s new knitted woollen sheath. “Okay but this is the other thing. This was something inside you all along right? Frigus you nurture, Orianna, you lead… so there’s a bit of me that’s just…”
He puts the viscous black bladed weapon, with the target of his vengeance carved into it, next to Frigus’ beautiful and cosy little cover.
“So that’s you and that’s me. And all this anger and need to punish bad people, and dragons particularly, that I thought was justified and I thought would go away one day is just who I am and it’s never going to go away and- and-…” He puts his head in his hands. “It’s like I was never really in control. Not really.”
“Nothing is carved in stone,” Orianna says, reaching out to rest a comforting hand on Digs’ shoulder. “The Cosmos is always changing, always growing and expanding, and we are reflections of the stars in its vast expanse.” She pauses and adds, “If it helps, that book Calla brought with her — the one Kesserax read beforehand — those were her own written vows. You could outline the vows yourself, should you wish to take them.”
Frigus had been frowning in thought as Orianna spoke. “Digs… I…” he starts, “I don’t think it’s anger or needing to punish that you have. It’s one way of looking at it, sure, but what I see is an unshakable sense of justice and fairness that drives you, almost to a fault… Maybe that’s what makes you have the choice to be Azharul’s Herald.”
Digs bends down as he scratches the back of his head and looks up sideways at Frigus. “Okay so thank you, that’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.” He pauses. “Actually it might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me… but can you even be mean to me?” He sits up straight squinting at Frigus as he continues. “I guess I’m scared of losing my freedom. As a Herald, are you free to just say something to me that’s not nurturing in any way that I don’t want to hear? Just something really cruel? Because with your thing maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world but with my thing… maybe it could be really bad.”
Frigus looks at Digs sensing the challenge. “I can say mean things. I don’t want to most of the time because I only lose energy by putting negative things out there but I can get angry like a normal person.”
They set their pale blue eyes on Digs meeting the challenge. “Did you ask me that because you are scared of losing freedom or because you want me to say something mean so you have an excuse to get mad at us and push us away? Because you know that this conversation might be leading you somewhere good and not self-destructive. If I were to guess I’d say you don’t want that because it’s something you could lose?” They exhale deeply, looking down for a moment. Then, meeting Digs’ eyes again, Frigus says, “I can definitely still say something mean and something nurturing at the same time.”
Digs crosses his arms, pouts, and mumbles under his breath, “That’s not what I asked for.”
“You say you’re scared of losing your freedom, Digs,” Orianna starts, her voice low and for the first time, extremely weary, “yet you are beholden to your Fear like a slave. It has you in its grip, dangling you over its maw, and everyday you choose to let it dictate your life. Frigus and I choose to be here for you.” She gestures between herself and Frigus. “We want to help because we can see a light in you that is strong — something I believe this realm needs. But every day you let Fear kill you, bit by bit. We would help you find the less thorny path, but you actively choose pain, sadness, and loneliness.” She levels her star-bright eyes at him. “Either you really want to find peace for yourself in your life, and heal… or you don’t.”
Digs crosses his arms even tighter and continues to pout for a bit and looks toward the door. “Fine. My gut is telling me to find an excuse to run away and never look back, but I want to know more about this. Maybe I just need to hear what the vows are. Is that okay for now?”
“Is it your gut? Or is it your Fear?” Orianna asks, pointedly. Her gaze is unflinching, steady and true, like an archer’s. She holds her mark on Digs for a beat longer before letting out a small sigh. Leaning back in her chair, she says, “When you finally know where your convictions truly come from, then can you hear what your vows could be. Without them, the words spoken would be just sounds to fill the air, no true intent or purpose in them. So they would be meaningless, and nothing would happen.”
Digs sits quietly for a while and doesn’t make eye contact. “Orianna, what scares you?”
She raises an eyebrow. “Why do you want to know?”
Digs looks directly at her. “We keep talking about me living in fear. What frightens you?”
“Ah,” she smiles slightly. “Is this your way of deflecting unto me?” A beat, then, “I do not live my life or make my choices based on what frightens me.” She meets his gaze. “If I did, I would have left Gerhard — the man who has become my heart’s keeper — to the death one of the Infinite swore would have been his end. He would have sacrificed himself to save someone who, at the time, did not understand what it means to have people who love you, no matter what.”
Digs is clearly and visibly frustrated. “What I’m saying is that I accept the fear in my life and I walk into situations that terrify me over and over and over again and you all still talk as if I’m a coward! If you don’t want to tell me what it is then fine, but if you think about what scares you more than anything else and imagine in all of these situations we’ve been in together that it’s right there staring you in the face every fucking time and I still show up! I still walk right into those situations, by choice, every time I think it’s the right thing to do!” By the end of his rant Digs is fully in tears but staring defiantly at Orianna.
“If fear ruled my life I would go find somewhere with no dragons. No tyrants. Nobody trying to hurt me. I’ve got a lot of money now — I can just leave and live somewhere safe and happy and far from all this and I’m. Right. Here.”
“Nobody called you a coward Digs,” said Frigus. “We said your fear rules you. That is not the same thing.”
They sigh and start working on a new knitting project, little claws dancing over the threads. “I know you challenge some of your fears. But you only do it for the sake of others. The fears that impact you are more than just the beings you can stick a knife into…” The threads loop again, rows of stitches coming together with soft clicks of the needles touching. “You told me that you live in a sewer because nobody could take it away from you… and if they did then all they would have is a sewer. You live in a place you know is not nice to live in because you are scared. You have great wealth but you eat food that is verging on poisonous. You probably haven’t slept soundly in a long time because you live alone and afraid. Your fear doesn’t stop you from fighting dragons to protect other people, it stops you from doing anything to protect yourself."
“We don’t want you to go away and live a blissful life — I don’t think you could if you tried with the way you are now. Not until you face the fear that’s holding you back and stop letting it make your decisions for you. I know it’s not just dragons you’re scared of. You need to decide to face the fear that is stopping you from valuing yourself the same way you decide to face your fears to protect other people. I think you’ll find you can protect people much better when you do.”
“I protect myself just fine. Everything everyone wants me to stop doing keeps me alive. You tell me I should live in some flammable house full of sunlight so I can’t even see properly, and I should spend all my money on fancy food so I’m hungry tomorrow, you tell me I should sleep all night and just hope I get to wake up, you tell me I shouldn’t trick people into thinking I’m weak so that they stand in front of me, and you won’t even let me wear armour that keeps me safe! I don’t tell you how to live your lives and if I did you shouldn’t listen to me because that’s the most dangerous thing of all.” He swallows hard. “I can trust. I trusted someone big time and they died. I had a ‘family’ once and they’re the ones who killed her and they would have killed me too if I didn’t leave her behind. Everyone I trust either betrays me or… leaves me.” Digs is no longer looking at Orianna or Frigus, he’s looking out of the window at Calla’s statue. “If Calla hadn’t trusted someone with some pact, or trusted me to have her back…” He curls down into a ball and grips his horns tightly. “…when I’m the one who said we should just leave her behind. Maybe she’d still be here.”
Digs simmers down and isn’t even sobbing; he’s just quiet.
“I want to help. I can help. I’ll even think about the Herald thing. Just please, please stop trying to fix me because I’m not broken.”
There’s a long beat of silence after Digs stops speaking. Orianna looks at Frigus and in her eyes the pearlescent kobold sees a compassionate sadness tinted with mild disappointment. She shakes her head, an indication that she thinks this conversation will keep going around and around in circles, and that perhaps it would be best to leave things as they are, for now.
To the kobold in question, she says softly, gently, “You were the one who asked us for answers, Digs. It is clear that what we said were ones you are not ready to hear.” A pale blue hand comes to rest on the table near him, not closing the gap to touch him, but letting him know she is still there. “Perhaps, when you are ready, we can speak again.”
Frigus looks sadly around the room. A small twinge of anger flushes their cheeks for a moment but they quell it and look with sad eyes at Digs.
“I want you to know this is not us giving up on you. But I agree with Orianna that we are going in circles here. Maybe once you kill Malgrys you will be able to hear us.”
They look out the window to Calla’s frozen form and a cold anger crosses their eyes again.
“But who knows maybe we are wrong, Digs. Maybe it’s smart to live in a sewer where you risk getting sick every time you touch something. Maybe it’s right to eat food so old that it poisons you instead of using your vast wealth to buy something. Maybe it’s better to never sleep with friends watching over you because they are incapable — that only you and your traps could protect yourself. I’m sure a pit trap would stop the things coming after all of us.”
They slip the scarf they’ve been working on off the needles and stand.
“I’ll help you kill Malgrys when the time comes if I can, armour or not, because I don’t want you to have to do these things alone. But right now I feel that my efforts are better spent on someone who would accept it.”
They look away from Digs and over to Orianna. “Thank you for your hospitality Orianna. If you need me you just have to call.”
The tiefling nods. “I will.”
Without looking back they walk out into the garden. The soothing aura they have been putting out vanishes as they walk from the room. A small frozen tear forms as they walk up to Calla’s form. Waffles rushes over to give them a boost so they can place the scarf gently around her. Then the two take off, flying back towards New Hillborough.
Digs watches Frigus leave and waits until they’ve got a good lead on him before turning to Orianna and sheepishly saying, “Thanks for the tea.”
He begins to leave but Orianna’s voice catches him just before he crosses the threshold.
“At any time, a glass of tea will be ready for you, Digs.”
He leaves quickly and quietly.
As he reaches the road he stops and looks back at Orianna’s beautiful home and thinks about the sewer lair he’s heading back to and pauses.
He pulls up his hood, shakes the thoughts off, and gets on his way.