The Life of Brian - 14/03/2024 - Mendal Recounts

That Time in the Sewers with the Eggs

“It all comes back to you and your prison break escapade in Kundar!” Mendal said, accusingly and mockingly towards his friend Archie, the elderly human wizard.

“Again he finds a way to bring up my terrible mistake in Kundar,” Archie thought to himself whilst sighing, and then asked, “in what way?”

“You ought to get yourself a really good alibi,” Mendel replied, ignoring the question, “cause no one’s going to believe that ‘shopping trip’ bollocks! ‘You see Lieutenant Derthaad, I didn’t realise the man we were extracting from that building - also a prison - was a sentient weapon merchant! How was I to know he wasn’t innocent and that not all adventurers are law-abiding?’” Mendal laughed and banged the table with his hand, enjoying his own joke. His friend’s misadventure as a criminal has provided an endless source of humour for Mendal.

“I’ve said nothing to comrade Derthaad, to be clear, Archie,” Kavel chimed in.

“And much appreciated,” Archie responded warmly to his goliath strength-enthusiast, and younger friend.

Trying to make sense of where Mendal’s story was going, Archie urged his dwarven cleric friend to carry on with his story, “so the business in Port Ffirst with your friend, Ronkk, was related to that merchant that yes; I freed, but misguidedly?”

“No. Not really,” Mendal admitted. “Only kind of related. I don’t know how much that guy was involved with everything, but we found a massive nest of those eggs, where the living weapons hatch from, in the sewers of Port Ffirst. We also found a queen who’s responsible for them all.”

Initial jokes out of the way, Mendal recounted his recent adventure to Archie and Kavel in full, whilst they shared a drink at the kitchen table of their shared house. Mendal began by mentioning how he met Ronkk and his researcher friend, Louisa at, as he referred to it, “that shithole the Cavernous Seashank”.
Though Louisa, like Archie, can often be found working in Daring Academy, Archie, however, was not familiar with Louisa - different areas of expertise, different departments.

When asked about the team of adventurers by Kavel, Mendal explained that Ronkk, Mendal’s fellow Dawnland-Sleigher teammate and champion, brought a team together to help with his friend Brian.
Brain, as it happened, is a biological weapon that had hatched from one of these weapon hatching eggs. Mendal had actually met Brian before, as Brian was the wrist mounted crossbow that Ronkk wore on his right arm; he just didn’t realise it. You might think that Mendal would be familiar with spotting sentient weapons as the bearer of Carric and Nevarra, his sentient elven hammers. But, the only thing Mendal remembered when he first saw the wrist-mounted crossbow was, “nice, but I’m sure I could have made a better crossbow than that.” Mendal also remembered noting that Ronkk, his other goliath friend, was, for all his niceness, “a plonker! Silly rock head can’t get my name right! He keeps calling me Kendall!”

“I like that,” Kavel said, “K is a stronger letter than M.”

Archie laughed while Mendal glared at his taller, goliath friend and said,“oh shut up, Kavel! Let me get on with my story!”

As Mendal retold, Louisa had explained that it would be good to locate where the eggs were coming from, and if we could ‘freeze’ some and bring them to her, she would be able to further her research. Also, killing more of the creatures down in the sewers guarding the assumed hatchery, would also be a benefit for the citizens of the Dawnlands. There was also Ronkk’s particular interest in the sentient weapons to consider. It seemed that Brian, the wrist-mounted crossbow’s life was fading, and being nearer his own kind might rejuvenate him. Louisa was not completely approving of the plan to go into the lair, but anything that could be done to stop the spread of these organic weapons, did have her blessing. These organic weapons were suited, she theorised, to merge with much larger, dangerous creatures. Ronkk, like Kavel, is a goliath. If Ronkk isn’t what ‘larger’ is referring to, then as Mendal concluded himself; it’s probably best not to let, for example, bad-intentioned dragons and such get their hands on these weapons; they’re dangerous enough.

And so a team of adventurers went into the sewers to locate the hatchery. All among them bringing individual talents to the group.


The Team

Ronkk - surprisingly athletically challenged for a goliath. This did surprise Mendal. As did Ronkk being adept at magic, especially the psychic kind. Ronkk, Mendal felt, was rather good at the spell Dissonant Whispers - a spell that vexes Kavel greatly if/when on the receiving end. Ronkk was also pretty skilled with a longbow too.
Sadly, as Mendal remembered, Ronkk was terrible at decision making as evidenced by the time he made one of the egg-protecting creatures explode its acid blood all over Mendal! And then there was the time Ronkk wandered straight into the enemy territory. Why? Because Brian wanted to be taken to the queen, and Ronkk merely obliged without considering his surroundings. What surroundings? The queen was surrounded by eggs, and the eggs and her were naturally surrounded by many, many guards - the dangerously acid bleeding kind!

Artur - was ever creepy and powerfully magical, and against creatures with minds; very powerful indeed. “His magic gives you the willies!” Mendal said to his friends, as he described the eldritch horrors Artur could manifest to control large groups of the creatures they fought, and escaped from.
The creature from the beyond, the eldritch summon that Artur could summon, helped many of the team cross an 80ft chasm with its flying. Mendal fondly remembered the summon standing on the frontline with Mendal, and soaking up most of the attacks aimed at them.

Thurghor - big and mangy as Mendal remembered, but also far more magical than when they last met - it was Thurghor who came to the rescue, and casted the Sleet Storm spell that was crucial for the team leaving the lair with eggs.
Thurghor had also become much better at fighting with that less than suitable weapon; a fishing rod! Somehow Thurghor made it work, and work well.
When Mendal took a mighty pommeling from the biggest guard creature the team fought, he received some magical healing from Thurghor. Next time they fight side by side, Mendal thought; it will be Thurghor that receives the benefit of the Aid spell, not that careless rock head, Ronkk!

Bella - placing caltrops as an ambush for the guards, which only served to slow Mendal down, was not something Mendal fondly remembered about Bella. Her skills with her rapier and crossbow, however, were excellent as always. Perhaps a little too good though? With every successful kill strike from Bella, the enemy exploded acid at her as a parting gift. “Bella doesn’t go light, and normally that’s a good thing,” Mendal said, whilst also thinking if the vial of acid Bella collected after the fight could be part of a weapon enhancement he had promised he would craft for her?

Mendal himself - for those familiar with Mr. Vultan, it would come as no surprise that when he talked about his involvement in the adventure, he spent a much longer amount of time recounting his contribution to the team. First there was the ever reliable use of the Spirit Guardians spell, the odd use of Healing Word for his allies (and a tremendous amount of casting for himself when the big guard bit and clawed into him!). There was the use of a Wall of Fire to slow pursuit of the guards when the team cleverly froze some eggs in the hatchery and escaped from the queen and guards with them. There was also the use of the Fabricate spell to create a bridge that would cover 60% of the length required to cross the chasm on the return journey - Bella’s Enlargement spell helped the bridge grow to reach the other side.
Aside from his divine magic, Mendal was upfront fighting in melee range, and as he put it, “Carric and Nevarra must be pleased as punch - not only did I get into battle, I even duel-wielded the battle-hungry buggers! To my detriment as well! I reckon that big fucker wouldn’t have bit and slashed me up if I had had my shield up!”
There was also the incident of one of Mendal’s Spirit Guardians delivering such a strong killing blow to a guard creature chasing Ronkk, that the dying creatures’ acid blood splashed all over Ronkk. Mendal, however, blamed this entirely on Artur because the creature was originally engaged with Artur before pursuing Ronkk - it was clearly Artur’s responsibility to have stopped the creature, not his.


Out of the Sewer

“Louisa paid us with money she had been given to handle the matter of these eggs. 200gp each. Not bad money. Ronkk gave us his share because little Brian had indeed been rejuvenated by the proximity of his queen. So rejuvenated in fact that it fed on the magical energy of Ronkk’s longbow and is now part of a new improved longbow. Mendal was impressed by the magical construction. But, of course, it was his opinion that he could still make a better crossbow.

“Did you take an egg, Mendal?” Archie asked.

“Nah. Firstly, I felt right foolish picking one up to carry when Thurghor literally netted eight of them. So I just put mine back and followed the bugbear out of the lair. And secondly, I’ve got enough sentient weapons to handle. Plus, I’ve got Moradin’s Sacred Hammer too and that’s a big responsibility.”

“But you can’t wield that hammer yet,” Kavel interjected.

Mendal took that statement as an insult. “Shut up Kavel!”

“How about your bridge, Mendal?” Archie began to ask, “if you used the Fabricate spell; must be a permanent construction?”

“No fraid not!” Mendal responded.

“Oh the Enlargement spell, yes,” Archie realised.

“That’s right! I imagine when that spell wore off, and the bridge reduced back in size, it must have fallen into the 200ft chasm below. I did fabricate a plaque on the start of the bridge though. It reads, ‘Mendal Vultan Clan Crafter Construction (was here)’. So, some evidence of my good work remains.”

“You could get your reputation out there with more constructions around the Dawnlands, Kendal,” Kavel proposed.

Mendal was delighted by the idea. “You know what? You’re not wrong, Kavel…” but this didn’t mean something went unnoticed, “and don’t you start with Kendal! It does not sound stronger!”