These Violent Delights (5-14/3) - Jaezred
Mar 16, 2024 15:35:08 GMT
Delilah Daybreaker and Andy Davy like this
Post by Jaezred Vandree on Mar 16, 2024 15:35:08 GMT
Not-Wedding Cake
By Lord Jaezred Vandree
INGREDIENTS:
Cake
• 6 eggs, beaten
• 2½ sticks of unsalted butter
• 2 tablespoons of dwarven whisky (I used the triple-distilled single malt Marthammor’s Dew Mithral Barrel but any label would do)
• 2 cups of Mozco the Magnificent’s self-rising flour, sifted
• 1¼ cups of caster sugar
Whisky buttercream filling
• 4½ cups of powdered sugar
• 2 tablespoons of whisky and milk
• 1¼ sticks of unsalted butter, softened
• A pinch of salt
Whisky glaze
• 2 tablespoons of whisky
• 2 tablespoons of brown sugar
• ½ cup of heavy cream
• ¼ cup of white sugar
• ¼ stick of butter
• Garnish: edible flowers and greens
DIRECTIONS:
Cake
1. Grease two cake tins with butter, line the bottom with parchment paper, and dust the sides with flour. Set aside.
2. Cream the butter and caster sugar until light, fluffy, and pale, then add a third of the beaten eggs, and continue to mix.
3. Slowly add the flour and the rest of the eggs and mix well, but be careful to not over-mix. Add the 2 tablespoons of whisky at the end.
4. Divide the batter evenly between the two tins and place them in the oven for half an hour or until you can smell the pastry.
5. Check if the cakes are done by poking them with a toothpick. If the pastry falls apart, it needs more time in the oven. When the cakes are done, let them cool for about a quarter-hour before removing them from the tins.
6. Using a serrated knife, slice off the tops of each cake to make them both even-sized.
Whisky buttercream filling
7. Mix all ingredients in a bowl until a smooth consistency is achieved.
8. Place a cake layer with its cut side up on your cake stand and spread or pipe the buttercream on it. (Piping achieves a more beautiful result.) Put the other cake on top with its cut side down.
Whisky glaze
9. Boil and simmer for a couple minutes all ingredients save for the whisky and garnish.
10. Remove from heat and allow the mixture to cool before adding the whisky in. Stir until thick, but not so thick that it won’t run off the edges of the cake.
11. Once you have the right consistency, pour the glaze over your cake, letting it run down the edges.
12. Garnish with edible flowers and greens.
AUTHOR’S NOTES:
Perhaps you’ve found a leftover bottle of whisky in your liquor cabinet, and perhaps you’ve got a pair of friends who are entering into a lifelong committed union that they insist, very strongly, isn’t marriage in the legal sense, and so you’ve got to bake a delicious cake for them that is a celebration cake but is definitely not a wedding cake. If you ever find yourself in such a situation, dear reader, then have I got the recipe for you.
It’s boozy. It’s yummy. It’s moist and spongy. It’s a crowd-pleaser, unless your crowd are teetotalers or young children. Most importantly, it’s a fun, informal cake to celebrate an occasion with your loved ones. I find that eating with good company often makes the food taste even better.
One very particular copy of this recipe found its way, curiously, into a stack of reports meant for Queen Nicnevin, attached to two other slips of parchment. Under the Witch-Queen’s gaze, the true message written underneath the innocuous recipe with illusory script is revealed to her:
Inspired by this Irish whiskey cake recipe.
By Lord Jaezred Vandree
INGREDIENTS:
Cake
• 6 eggs, beaten
• 2½ sticks of unsalted butter
• 2 tablespoons of dwarven whisky (I used the triple-distilled single malt Marthammor’s Dew Mithral Barrel but any label would do)
• 2 cups of Mozco the Magnificent’s self-rising flour, sifted
• 1¼ cups of caster sugar
Whisky buttercream filling
• 4½ cups of powdered sugar
• 2 tablespoons of whisky and milk
• 1¼ sticks of unsalted butter, softened
• A pinch of salt
Whisky glaze
• 2 tablespoons of whisky
• 2 tablespoons of brown sugar
• ½ cup of heavy cream
• ¼ cup of white sugar
• ¼ stick of butter
• Garnish: edible flowers and greens
DIRECTIONS:
Cake
1. Grease two cake tins with butter, line the bottom with parchment paper, and dust the sides with flour. Set aside.
2. Cream the butter and caster sugar until light, fluffy, and pale, then add a third of the beaten eggs, and continue to mix.
3. Slowly add the flour and the rest of the eggs and mix well, but be careful to not over-mix. Add the 2 tablespoons of whisky at the end.
4. Divide the batter evenly between the two tins and place them in the oven for half an hour or until you can smell the pastry.
5. Check if the cakes are done by poking them with a toothpick. If the pastry falls apart, it needs more time in the oven. When the cakes are done, let them cool for about a quarter-hour before removing them from the tins.
6. Using a serrated knife, slice off the tops of each cake to make them both even-sized.
Whisky buttercream filling
7. Mix all ingredients in a bowl until a smooth consistency is achieved.
8. Place a cake layer with its cut side up on your cake stand and spread or pipe the buttercream on it. (Piping achieves a more beautiful result.) Put the other cake on top with its cut side down.
Whisky glaze
9. Boil and simmer for a couple minutes all ingredients save for the whisky and garnish.
10. Remove from heat and allow the mixture to cool before adding the whisky in. Stir until thick, but not so thick that it won’t run off the edges of the cake.
11. Once you have the right consistency, pour the glaze over your cake, letting it run down the edges.
12. Garnish with edible flowers and greens.
AUTHOR’S NOTES:
Perhaps you’ve found a leftover bottle of whisky in your liquor cabinet, and perhaps you’ve got a pair of friends who are entering into a lifelong committed union that they insist, very strongly, isn’t marriage in the legal sense, and so you’ve got to bake a delicious cake for them that is a celebration cake but is definitely not a wedding cake. If you ever find yourself in such a situation, dear reader, then have I got the recipe for you.
It’s boozy. It’s yummy. It’s moist and spongy. It’s a crowd-pleaser, unless your crowd are teetotalers or young children. Most importantly, it’s a fun, informal cake to celebrate an occasion with your loved ones. I find that eating with good company often makes the food taste even better.
One very particular copy of this recipe found its way, curiously, into a stack of reports meant for Queen Nicnevin, attached to two other slips of parchment. Under the Witch-Queen’s gaze, the true message written underneath the innocuous recipe with illusory script is revealed to her:
4th Ches 1501
I can now confirm with absolute certainty that Ankaa Neramorte was the mastermind behind the disappearances of my informants. Ankaa, under Queen Miandra’s nose, had hijacked the leadership of the Temple of Night in Equinox where Twilight’s spies and assassins are trained, turning most of its acolytes into (literal) faceless fanatics whilst killing or magically compelling the few who refused to betray the Queen. I saw evidence in the now-abandoned Temple that she or her followers had made (poor) attempts at replicating my handwriting, which — despite the offensively horrid penmanship — had managed to fool a handful of my informants.
Ankaa’s motivation for kidnapping these informants was almost bafflingly simple: they were part of my network, and I am Delilah’s friend; damaging my web would hurt me, and therefore hurt Delilah. There was no ideology or intrigue involved, only obsession and the crime of association. Ankaa had threatened Carnán of the Autumn Grove (as reported previously), kidnapped regulars of the Starling’s Nest soup kitchen in Port Ffirst run by Wren Lunaboult, and sent strange and disturbing letters to Lady Oziah Daybreaker. All are close associates of Delilah and, in Lady Oziah’s case, her life partner. Ankaa’s hostile takekover of the Temple of Night, too, can be attributed to this obsession with her former lover, since that was where Delilah trained.
As I alluded to above, the five of us, plus Delilah’s green dragon father Kurtz and three ex-acolytes of Ankaa, gathered and went to investigate the Temple of Night. The Queen of Ken and Cunning personally intercepted us to request a verbal report of what we found afterwards. In the Temple, we rescued three urchins from Port Ffirst, my informant Timothy Peachfluff, and several parrots, and discovered where Ankaa and her Faceless had fled to before Queen Miandra could catch them — the Theatre of Jergal in the Shadowfell.
We reported to the Queen and Her Majesty agreed to teleport us there. The Queen also promised Delilah that should she succeed in assassinating Ankaa, she would be freed of all obligations to the Twilight Court. (I had conversed with Delilah about this just before — whilst she felt personal gratitude to Miandra for having mentored her, she would rather now be free of the bonds of service.)
In the Theatre of Jergal, Ankaa had been preparing for a show, and we were her captive audience. It was an arduous fight that ended with Delilah delivering death to Ankaa, which in the realm of Jergal, is final and oblivious. The only survivor from the enemy side was a Temple of Night acolyte who was magically compelled into serving Ankaa.
My other informants could not be found in the Theatre and the spirits have confirmed that they were killed. In honesty, I do not know how to proceed from here, or what to tell their families, or whether we should tell them at all. Their deaths were utterly senseless. Considering the circumstances, I suppose I was lucky to have saved Taran of the Twilight Court and Mr. Peachfluff. I welcome Your Majesty’s advice in this matter.
Queen Miandra freed Delilah of her bonds as promised and declared the Temple of Night defunct. Additionally, Her Majesty pardoned Kurtz of his past crimes against Twilight and promised to help yours truly in some future espionage work.
Our return to Castle Daybreak was greeted with a most unexpected surprise — babies. The souls of the halfling lovers that inhabited Delilah’s twin swords had been reincarnated into these infants born of the void. Ankaa, in a final act of grace, with what little remained of her uncorrupted mind, had saved these souls from Jergal’s oblivion. Lady Oziah and Delilah seem to be considering adopting these infants. I guess that would make me and Imryll uncle and auntie.
Finally, I spoke to a couple of the surviving acolytes, who have nowhere to go now that the Temple of Night is no more, regarding the benefits of joining the Witching Court. I am still awaiting their answers but I am optimistic, and I shall do background checks for those who return with me to the Mountain Palace.
I can now confirm with absolute certainty that Ankaa Neramorte was the mastermind behind the disappearances of my informants. Ankaa, under Queen Miandra’s nose, had hijacked the leadership of the Temple of Night in Equinox where Twilight’s spies and assassins are trained, turning most of its acolytes into (literal) faceless fanatics whilst killing or magically compelling the few who refused to betray the Queen. I saw evidence in the now-abandoned Temple that she or her followers had made (poor) attempts at replicating my handwriting, which — despite the offensively horrid penmanship — had managed to fool a handful of my informants.
Ankaa’s motivation for kidnapping these informants was almost bafflingly simple: they were part of my network, and I am Delilah’s friend; damaging my web would hurt me, and therefore hurt Delilah. There was no ideology or intrigue involved, only obsession and the crime of association. Ankaa had threatened Carnán of the Autumn Grove (as reported previously), kidnapped regulars of the Starling’s Nest soup kitchen in Port Ffirst run by Wren Lunaboult, and sent strange and disturbing letters to Lady Oziah Daybreaker. All are close associates of Delilah and, in Lady Oziah’s case, her life partner. Ankaa’s hostile takekover of the Temple of Night, too, can be attributed to this obsession with her former lover, since that was where Delilah trained.
As I alluded to above, the five of us, plus Delilah’s green dragon father Kurtz and three ex-acolytes of Ankaa, gathered and went to investigate the Temple of Night. The Queen of Ken and Cunning personally intercepted us to request a verbal report of what we found afterwards. In the Temple, we rescued three urchins from Port Ffirst, my informant Timothy Peachfluff, and several parrots, and discovered where Ankaa and her Faceless had fled to before Queen Miandra could catch them — the Theatre of Jergal in the Shadowfell.
We reported to the Queen and Her Majesty agreed to teleport us there. The Queen also promised Delilah that should she succeed in assassinating Ankaa, she would be freed of all obligations to the Twilight Court. (I had conversed with Delilah about this just before — whilst she felt personal gratitude to Miandra for having mentored her, she would rather now be free of the bonds of service.)
In the Theatre of Jergal, Ankaa had been preparing for a show, and we were her captive audience. It was an arduous fight that ended with Delilah delivering death to Ankaa, which in the realm of Jergal, is final and oblivious. The only survivor from the enemy side was a Temple of Night acolyte who was magically compelled into serving Ankaa.
My other informants could not be found in the Theatre and the spirits have confirmed that they were killed. In honesty, I do not know how to proceed from here, or what to tell their families, or whether we should tell them at all. Their deaths were utterly senseless. Considering the circumstances, I suppose I was lucky to have saved Taran of the Twilight Court and Mr. Peachfluff. I welcome Your Majesty’s advice in this matter.
Queen Miandra freed Delilah of her bonds as promised and declared the Temple of Night defunct. Additionally, Her Majesty pardoned Kurtz of his past crimes against Twilight and promised to help yours truly in some future espionage work.
Our return to Castle Daybreak was greeted with a most unexpected surprise — babies. The souls of the halfling lovers that inhabited Delilah’s twin swords had been reincarnated into these infants born of the void. Ankaa, in a final act of grace, with what little remained of her uncorrupted mind, had saved these souls from Jergal’s oblivion. Lady Oziah and Delilah seem to be considering adopting these infants. I guess that would make me and Imryll uncle and auntie.
Finally, I spoke to a couple of the surviving acolytes, who have nowhere to go now that the Temple of Night is no more, regarding the benefits of joining the Witching Court. I am still awaiting their answers but I am optimistic, and I shall do background checks for those who return with me to the Mountain Palace.
Inspired by this Irish whiskey cake recipe.
