Angels Fear to Tread - part 1 (Lady Sunday)
Jun 13, 2018 13:08:42 GMT
Tugark (Retired), Demik / Code, and 3 more like this
Post by Sunday on Jun 13, 2018 13:08:42 GMT
*Years later, archaeologists excavating the remains of Daring Heights came across a curious item: a journal belonging to one “L.S.” It was full of daily routines and random observations, naughty drawings, devilish and satanic scrawlings, and poems about kittens. The below is one of the more publicly suitable fragments from the journal to feature in the Waterdeep City Museum of Antiquities exhibition: “The Daring Retrospective: or how not to expand the frontier”*
“………TOWN IS SO BOOOOORIININNGGGGG nobody wants to play with me and i’ve even worn my friendliest and silliest skin-costumes but all i got was having a wee with some old drunk and a grumpy bard who didn’t say a word and an insane cleric who likes to gamble at least madness is pretty amusing overall this place is zzzz out of 10 i really hope i don’t have to start hiding livestock and small children to have fun like i did in port ffirst
kittens are nice kittens are small
kittens have fur kittens have paws
kittens like milk kittens like mice
kittens taste good when baked in rice only joking i love cats
good night me x x x
I TAKE IT ALL BACK THIS PLACE IS AWESOMEEEEE SO MANY THINGS TO KILL!
normally the voices i hear in my mind are pretty lame/my own/pretty lame but today i found a new voice to play with i was messing around in the woods when i felt someone telling me to travel north to save a forest or kill a twig or eat a leaf i don’t know but it sounded different so i went and met some new skin-models on the way – a silly-looking magic man who looks like a runner bean and carries a dead squirrel in his hat and a small hippie who liked my muscles and a serious-looking half-elf who looks like a fun new toy (i do like them when they’re so serious he’ll be fun to play with) and a talkative little man carrying an angry toy around his wrist that looks like one of uncle azaroth’s and an earnest little sneaky-beaky fellow who was good at hiding and the journey started pretty lame – it took them FOREVER to notice i was playing hide and seek and when they saw my real face they asked some REALLY REALLY REALLY BORING questions but luckily there was a massive fight so we all forget about that and got to squish some imps which made me think of being back at home except WITHOUT ALL THE PAIN AND FIRE then i met a tree angel who tried to do that classic angel thing and be all holy and smug and try to overpower us with his awe and talk of doom but i have seen things like that and worse like 100000000000000 times in phlegethos and i just think he looked stuck up and like he has a twig up his bum but he was quite pretty though so that was nice to look at maybe i’ll wear his skin for a bit or maybe we killed the imps after we met him i don’t know everyone talked a lot about some kind of sickness in the trees and it was spreading and i was just thinking oh my gods take some medicine and have a nap and then it will be fine but they tried that and it didn’t work so we went to the bad place right in the middle of the forest and it was pretty gross and cool with dead trees that came alive and tried to squish us but the wizard bean and dwarf hippie had some pretty cool tricks that blasted the stupid twigs in their bums and killed them they died and said some riddle when they died i like riddles but it was a tough one and i think the answer was fear or trapped wind or something and then we kept going and i ate some more food THEN WE FOUND THE COOLEST BIT – A MASSIVE TREE THAT LOOKED LIKE THE WANKY ANGEL MAN BUT EVIL WITH A BIG ICKY PUSY PUSTULE OF PUS and there was a man made of wood with spiders in his face and up his nose *etchings excised from source material for sanity's sake* and it was pretty funny and we had a big fight and something invisible oh yer this invisible man had been following us all day and i couldn’t spot him even though i turned around REALLY REALLY FAST that was pretty fun and annoying and fun cos i’m the best at hiding and i wanted to snap his bones and split his skin and drink his memories for being better at my own game but maybe that is just my mother’s influence talking anyway the invisible man found us and killed the one carrying the cursed bracelet that we used to win at parties when i was younger but then i think someone unkilled him probably the serious man it seems like the thing he would do i don’t know i wasn’t paying attention cos i got to smash the wooden spider man in his face and he died then the ground turned upside down and i think the wizard bean was throwing dead squirrels around that was pretty cool and maybe he can teach me that trick but anyway we fell under ground and………”
*The excerpt continues, but we have been unable to decide whether the contents should be made public knowledge yet – the committee is making a decision in the next few days. We may be able to share more of these fascinating though disturbing observations of early life in Kantas next week.*
“………TOWN IS SO BOOOOORIININNGGGGG nobody wants to play with me and i’ve even worn my friendliest and silliest skin-costumes but all i got was having a wee with some old drunk and a grumpy bard who didn’t say a word and an insane cleric who likes to gamble at least madness is pretty amusing overall this place is zzzz out of 10 i really hope i don’t have to start hiding livestock and small children to have fun like i did in port ffirst
kittens are nice kittens are small
kittens have fur kittens have paws
kittens like milk kittens like mice
kittens taste good when baked in rice only joking i love cats
good night me x x x
Day 18 in Poopytown
I TAKE IT ALL BACK THIS PLACE IS AWESOMEEEEE SO MANY THINGS TO KILL!
normally the voices i hear in my mind are pretty lame/my own/pretty lame but today i found a new voice to play with i was messing around in the woods when i felt someone telling me to travel north to save a forest or kill a twig or eat a leaf i don’t know but it sounded different so i went and met some new skin-models on the way – a silly-looking magic man who looks like a runner bean and carries a dead squirrel in his hat and a small hippie who liked my muscles and a serious-looking half-elf who looks like a fun new toy (i do like them when they’re so serious he’ll be fun to play with) and a talkative little man carrying an angry toy around his wrist that looks like one of uncle azaroth’s and an earnest little sneaky-beaky fellow who was good at hiding and the journey started pretty lame – it took them FOREVER to notice i was playing hide and seek and when they saw my real face they asked some REALLY REALLY REALLY BORING questions but luckily there was a massive fight so we all forget about that and got to squish some imps which made me think of being back at home except WITHOUT ALL THE PAIN AND FIRE then i met a tree angel who tried to do that classic angel thing and be all holy and smug and try to overpower us with his awe and talk of doom but i have seen things like that and worse like 100000000000000 times in phlegethos and i just think he looked stuck up and like he has a twig up his bum but he was quite pretty though so that was nice to look at maybe i’ll wear his skin for a bit or maybe we killed the imps after we met him i don’t know everyone talked a lot about some kind of sickness in the trees and it was spreading and i was just thinking oh my gods take some medicine and have a nap and then it will be fine but they tried that and it didn’t work so we went to the bad place right in the middle of the forest and it was pretty gross and cool with dead trees that came alive and tried to squish us but the wizard bean and dwarf hippie had some pretty cool tricks that blasted the stupid twigs in their bums and killed them they died and said some riddle when they died i like riddles but it was a tough one and i think the answer was fear or trapped wind or something and then we kept going and i ate some more food THEN WE FOUND THE COOLEST BIT – A MASSIVE TREE THAT LOOKED LIKE THE WANKY ANGEL MAN BUT EVIL WITH A BIG ICKY PUSY PUSTULE OF PUS and there was a man made of wood with spiders in his face and up his nose *etchings excised from source material for sanity's sake* and it was pretty funny and we had a big fight and something invisible oh yer this invisible man had been following us all day and i couldn’t spot him even though i turned around REALLY REALLY FAST that was pretty fun and annoying and fun cos i’m the best at hiding and i wanted to snap his bones and split his skin and drink his memories for being better at my own game but maybe that is just my mother’s influence talking anyway the invisible man found us and killed the one carrying the cursed bracelet that we used to win at parties when i was younger but then i think someone unkilled him probably the serious man it seems like the thing he would do i don’t know i wasn’t paying attention cos i got to smash the wooden spider man in his face and he died then the ground turned upside down and i think the wizard bean was throwing dead squirrels around that was pretty cool and maybe he can teach me that trick but anyway we fell under ground and………”
*The excerpt continues, but we have been unable to decide whether the contents should be made public knowledge yet – the committee is making a decision in the next few days. We may be able to share more of these fascinating though disturbing observations of early life in Kantas next week.*
