Lost and Found - Keros - 14/6/23
Jun 15, 2023 15:12:30 GMT
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Jaezred Vandree, Ian, and 2 more like this
Post by Tom M on Jun 15, 2023 15:12:30 GMT
Keros splits away from the group on the way back to the Zot Goran portal making some vague excuse and saying that he’ll catch up.
He stops by a market stall, buys a bunch of flowers.
His destination is a military graveyard. Rows upon rows of minimalist headstones, all carved with the symbol of the Avernus Campaign Medal.
He stops at one of the graves, places the flowers down gently, and sits himself on the floor in front of it.
“So… I know I haven’t been here for too long. Things have been busy… I guess I want to say I haven’t forgotten about you.”
He sits for a minute.
“Weird day today. Doing a favour for a friend and ended up meeting some kind of fiend. The others acted like that’s a thing you just ‘do’, like they don’t know how dangerous that is.”
He pauses.
“I was going to say ‘well you know how dangerous that is’ and then I felt bad because… well then I know that you’d definitely laugh at that.” He chuckles to himself.
“But you know, it worked out pretty well I think. And we went on hillsurfers because of the Behooved - I’m still doing what you taught me. Weird that I’m the teacher now.”
He slaps his forehead
“Oh yeah there’s a whole load of context there with the Behooved. There’s going to be a civil war now.”
“I might have started it. I did it for the right reasons I think? I know you wanted to be an officer, but I could never make that kind of call where you decide who’s going to die and if that’s worth it. It was that or let them mind control everyone and isn’t that worse?”
“Think it’s worse. There are civilian families who probably don’t think it’s worse. They didn’t get to choose.”
He puts his head in his hands.
“Fuck.”
He sits silently for a few minutes.
“I met someone.”
“I think you’d like them. I swear they make friends as fast as I make enemies.” He snorts and wipes some of the dried blood off his face.
“Made a few more today apparently. They want this shield and I don’t know why. Were prepared to fight damned hard to try and get it.”
“Not hard enough.”
Another pause.
“Not as if that doesn’t cause its own problems though, the everyone liking them thing not the shield thing. Last few weeks have been… interesting. I think I’m learning things.”
A longer pause.
“What happened to you taught me to see the world as it is. I think they’re teaching me to see what the world could be.”
He slows down as he speaks, trying to parse what he wants to say.
“I know they want me to be happy. I guess I’m asking… you for permission to be happy.”
“That sounds ridiculous to say out loud, I know you’d want me to be happy.”
“It’s like… like I don’t deserve it. Like I need to be punished for everything I’ve done wrong. Like I only have a reason to be alive if I’m helping someone else.”
“When they look at me I feel like I have value again, you know?”
“You don’t know. You haven’t met them. Maybe I’ll bring them next time.”
He pauses for a while before getting up.
“I should go. Rae’s polite to Blessed, but I feel like Robin might stab them after a while.”
“I’ll be coming home again soon I think. I’ll make the time to come here.”
He smiles
“Thanks for the talk Nim.”
He stops by a market stall, buys a bunch of flowers.
His destination is a military graveyard. Rows upon rows of minimalist headstones, all carved with the symbol of the Avernus Campaign Medal.
He stops at one of the graves, places the flowers down gently, and sits himself on the floor in front of it.
“So… I know I haven’t been here for too long. Things have been busy… I guess I want to say I haven’t forgotten about you.”
He sits for a minute.
“Weird day today. Doing a favour for a friend and ended up meeting some kind of fiend. The others acted like that’s a thing you just ‘do’, like they don’t know how dangerous that is.”
He pauses.
“I was going to say ‘well you know how dangerous that is’ and then I felt bad because… well then I know that you’d definitely laugh at that.” He chuckles to himself.
“But you know, it worked out pretty well I think. And we went on hillsurfers because of the Behooved - I’m still doing what you taught me. Weird that I’m the teacher now.”
He slaps his forehead
“Oh yeah there’s a whole load of context there with the Behooved. There’s going to be a civil war now.”
“I might have started it. I did it for the right reasons I think? I know you wanted to be an officer, but I could never make that kind of call where you decide who’s going to die and if that’s worth it. It was that or let them mind control everyone and isn’t that worse?”
“Think it’s worse. There are civilian families who probably don’t think it’s worse. They didn’t get to choose.”
He puts his head in his hands.
“Fuck.”
He sits silently for a few minutes.
“I met someone.”
“I think you’d like them. I swear they make friends as fast as I make enemies.” He snorts and wipes some of the dried blood off his face.
“Made a few more today apparently. They want this shield and I don’t know why. Were prepared to fight damned hard to try and get it.”
“Not hard enough.”
Another pause.
“Not as if that doesn’t cause its own problems though, the everyone liking them thing not the shield thing. Last few weeks have been… interesting. I think I’m learning things.”
A longer pause.
“What happened to you taught me to see the world as it is. I think they’re teaching me to see what the world could be.”
He slows down as he speaks, trying to parse what he wants to say.
“I know they want me to be happy. I guess I’m asking… you for permission to be happy.”
“That sounds ridiculous to say out loud, I know you’d want me to be happy.”
“It’s like… like I don’t deserve it. Like I need to be punished for everything I’ve done wrong. Like I only have a reason to be alive if I’m helping someone else.”
“When they look at me I feel like I have value again, you know?”
“You don’t know. You haven’t met them. Maybe I’ll bring them next time.”
He pauses for a while before getting up.
“I should go. Rae’s polite to Blessed, but I feel like Robin might stab them after a while.”
“I’ll be coming home again soon I think. I’ll make the time to come here.”
He smiles
“Thanks for the talk Nim.”
