Chamber of Commerce - 01/06/2023 - Mendal Recounts

Daring Heights: Dwarven Quarter
Vultan, Castiron and Haltuhr Residence - Kitchen

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You know? Politics, Business and Whatever

“Did the Olem-Murnelvar Trading Company get the result they wanted?” The human scrivener wizard, Archie asked of his dwarf forge cleric friend.

“Yes! Turns out blackmail gets you what you want. Who’d have thought? Ha!”

Archie looked at his friend on the other side of the kitchen table with the beginning of a disapproving look. “Something you helped achieve?”

“No. I didn’t sleep with anyone I shouldn’t have. It was some greasy, charm-oozing peacock we met. Acquaintance of Heret - the OMTC guy.”

“Right…” Archie said, sensing the whole matter would need unpacking if he were to grasp what went on. “From the beginning then, if you wouldn’t mind, please?”

Mendal adjusted himself on his chair, sat upright and cleared his throat. “Okay! So. We gathered at the OMTC place outside of the walls in Swampside. We being; myself, Heret human chap; bit frail looking just like you, younger however.” Archie rolled his eyes at yet another dig at his age and human nature. Mendal didn’t even pause to enjoy the reaction; dropping age digs was standard now, so he kept going, “there was that Forfeit; tiefling chap you and Kavel have met, very hoity-toity, and the firbolg with the weird, colourful mange that Kavel’s met, Thurghor.”

“Have you seen Kavel today?” Archie enquired, concerned about their half-giant housemate and friend, who very recently had been through a tough time.

“Kavel? Yeah. He’s been up. Bit down. But, ever reliable; eat, sleep, train - then repeat. It’s just now he’s a bit moody and speaks even less than he normally does.”

“Well, it is good he hasn’t stopped his routine.”

“Yes - I’d be worried if he had.”

“Me too.” Archie nodded to Mendal to continue his story.

“Anyway, those two - Thurghor and Forfeit. Pair of balls on them! Heret has a sword and shield, I have a warhammer and shield, and the firbolg and tiefling between them had a fishing rod and bloody umbrella!” Mendal spread his arms wide and held an open-mouthed look of shock to emphasise his amazement.

“Adventurers - we are an eclectic bunch,” Archie surmised.

“Anyway, the OMTC had a new warehouse in Jorvenol. All that Progressive Purists versus Optimates nonsense risked upsetting business.” A grin crept over Mendal’s face before adding, “you know all about the politics though don’t you? You wrote an article for the K’ul Goran people, hahahahaha!” The dwarf cleric bellowed with laughter.

Archie slowly blinked and drank his tea. “You know I was misquoted.”

“Of course I know! Just teasing you, you old goat. Haha!”

“How was the political situation when you were there?”Archie prompted Mendal.

“Hmmm.” Mendal looked off to the side. Stumped how to respond.

“You have nothing to say on the politics there, I gather?” A hint of exasperation appeared on Archie’s face.

“Nope. I’ve got nothing to say about that.” Mendal said with not a single hint of embarrassment in his voice.

Upon hearing his friend’s appalling observations on K’ul Goran’s political situation, Archie busied himself with his tea.

“Look! This is all I got; some people want to stick two fingers up at the Dawnlands and others don’t. Locals didn’t seem too bothered by our presence though. Although, I do wonder if it’s got something to do with that giant peacock acquaintance of Herets’?”


“Choice Trophy and Prancing Peacock”

“So in the tavern…” Mendal stopped to check, “you know all about K’ul Goran’s problems with giants?”

Archie nodded. He was aware of the defensive outposts set up in case of Skyreach’s giants attacking. He was aware of the historical precedent.

“Well, the Giant’s Head literally has a stone giant’s head as a centrepiece, on a table. Gets all sorts of abuse.”

“Oh that’s charming,” Archie said, appalled at the ill decorum.

“Well, as I’ve been hinting, if there was a lack of charm on that table, it could have been because someone on another table was oozing all the charm out of their unbuttoned shirt and smacking everyone in the face with it - Forfeit and Thurghor had a right horn going for this git, and I’m not even sure if his ick-some magic had even kicked in at that point?!”

“Ah, so this Gus’laff, you mentioned, he has natural enchantment magic, does he?” Archie inquired.

“Yes. Something like that. Not entirely sure. Ungodly, I’d imagine!” Mendal squirmed a little in his chair, remembering Gus’laff. “ I did my best to not sit too close to him. I think proximity to his flashiness sucks you in. Got to be careful with people like him. One second you might be holding on to your belt buckle with a death grip. The next; you don’t know how your trousers came off!!”

“Quite.” Archie offered in agreement. “And did people remain enthralled, or did they come round?”

“I saw a few people who seemed to not have the foggiest idea how they ended up in the tavern. At one point early on, Gus’laff dismissed his posse of fawning admirers, and they went elsewhere in the tavern. One of the chaps from the posse seemed to come out of his fog. I helped him jog his brain how he got there by pointing out Gus’laff, and then the chap got all love-drunk again about Gus’laff!”

“I see. So, Heret had this person, Gus’laff, charm Senator Alouxandra Balmy into controlling the Thunderhoofs then?”

“No,” Mendal began to correct his friend’s assumption. “No, nothing so seedy on Heret’s part, at least not intentionally. You see, Gus’laff came with us to introduce Heret to the senator, and Gus’laff’s presence was off putting to her. She must have thought the peacock was brought as leverage on her, because Gus’laff had bedded her before - he told us - and she rightfully wasn’t too pleased with herself given what a substance-less prancer Gus’laff came across as.”

“Right. So the senator more or less agreed to assist Heret, and it was sort of… well it’s ambiguous to what extent underhandedness can be attributed to the OMTC.”

“Yes. Something like that. But then Heret did allow Gus’laff a free-access fast-pass to the OMTC’s teleportation circle network, in exchange for the introduction to the senator!”

“Oh dear.” Archie looked down with disappointment.

“I think we’ve kicked a problem down the road that will bite us in the arse some time later!”

“I quite agree.”

Mendal added a compounding problem. “By the way, the magical peacock is heading to Waterdeep.”

“Oh not our hometown! Mendal, was there nothing you could do?!”

Mendal threw his hands in the air, palms up. “Heret persuaded Gun’laff not to go to Daring Heights, I couldn’t add another place to the ‘forbidden’ list - I’m sure the peacock would just ignore us anyway.”
As Mendal gave his defence, he remembered something he felt redeemed things a little. “Oh! Turns out if you speak Gus’laff’s name three times into a mirror, you summon the charming cunt. So, if need be, we could; summon him, ambush him, and then smash his overly sexy smirking head right in!”

Archie weighed the suggestion up. It seemed plausible. “Well. you helped the OMTC at least. Anything else good come out of all this?”

“Heret said he may have some ore deposits in his sights - I might be able to get involved with that. Oh, and Whisper of the Wind, the local, premium ale - not bad actually...”

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