S11 Finale: Party Like it's 1499 - 06/12/2022 - KMA Share

Inside A Dandy Wizard’s Galdur’s Tower

A stone tower sat a little way outside where New Hillborrow’s Winter Festival was held. The tower measured ten feet long and just as wide, but reached up thirty feet into the sky. There were three levels to the compact tower, each a cubie ten feet in size. The lower level was a wash room with a toilet, washtub, a magical brazier and sauna benches. The level above was a bedroom, with one very large bed, and another smaller bed. The room at the top just had just one medium sized bed, but had a few more furnishings inside, such as a desk and chair. The top chamber was the privilege of the wizard who casted the spell Galdur’s Tower. And the tower, was for him and his good friends to make use of before returning back to Daring Heights in the morning.

“Not bad Archie!” Mendal boomed in his loud, dwarfish manner. All three of the men were sitting on the washroom’s sauna benches in their smalls, enjoying the heat of the magical brazier. Even Kavel, the most resistant to the cold weather by virtue of his half-giant nature, enjoyed a good sweat in a sauna - good for the body, after all.

“Me and Kavel never get the benefit of this, since we never end up on adventures with you,” Mendal said, enjoying a drop of mead.

“You haven’t been on any adventures recently,” Kavel observed of his dwarven cleric and craftsman friend.

“It’s true. You barely leave the forge,” Archie said in agreement with the goliath.

“Fuck off the pair of you!” Mendal replied. “I’m busy. A cleric of Moradin forges! That’s what I do - I’m a Clan Crafter, I’m a hit in the Dwarven Quarter. And besides I hate how everyone expects that as a cleric, I have wise religious crap on the ready, like I can heal their wounded little minds with some bloody pleasantries. Bad enough I’m expected to actually physically heal them because they got hurt attacking a nasty beast or a massive thug. What did they think would happen? And anyway, I didn't need to go adventuring to get my hands on adamantine in the end, did I?”

“What could get you back into adventuring then, now that Zola was kind enough to give you a magical set of armour?” Kavel asked with concern for his dwarven friend.

“Well, more magic metal stuff, I guess? Meeting interesting, or better craftsmen than me to learn from - unlikely - but still. Also, I know! How about if there’s a guarantee that there’s another cleric in the party; then I’m in! That way, if someone wants spiritual waffle or a magical healing I can point them in the direction of the other cleric.”

“Good heavens! Moradin must really not expect much from you,” Archie observed of his most uncleric-like cleric friend.

“Whatever!” Mendal said before taking another swig of mead. His attention, like that of his human and goliath friends, would occasionally drift to the washtub in front of them, where a golden-headed lion tamarin by the name of Timor was enjoying a nice hot bath. “Look at that little fella! He’s bloody enjoying himself. He had a good time at the fair. What about you boys? Highlights? Kavel?”

---

Kavel at the Circus

“Oh easy,” Kavel began explaining, “I went to the circus with comrade Derthaad and a few others. It was an instructional circus where you could join in with circus activities and try a new skill.”

“Oh fascinating, I love learning new skills,” Archie said, his interest piqued. “What did you do, Kavel?”

“There was a strength station, so I went over there.”

“That’s not a new skill for you!” Mendal said loud enough to make Timor look up at the humanoids from his bath.

Archie could not help but laugh, “come now Mendal, he knows what he likes.”

Kavel went on to explain that Stephanie, the strength performing gnome welcomed the adventurers in to take part and announced herself as the strongest gnome in the circus. The halfling artificer Sterling was in the group, and asked how many gnomes there were in the circus. Stephanie then had to explain how the events in Kundar which signalled the start of the gith invasion saw many losses for the circus, as they were there that night. The matter was sore for Stephanie. She ended her explanation with, “but I’m still stronger than you, you little shit.”

Mendal and Archie exchanged looks - they too had met Sterling. “Go on?” They said in unison, expecting that Sterling would rise to being called a little shit.

Kavel carried on, “well, he did not take kindly to being called a little shit. I was not expecting him to join me and Ana in a strength challenge, but he jumped the queue and was first up. Stephanie passed him a pretty heavy dumbbell for a small person. She passed it confidently with her arm outstretched - she was very strong. Sterling took the weight in the same manner, fooled into believing the weight would be easy to carry. He would have been better cleaning the weight up to his shoulder from the floor, not accepting it with an outstretched arm - he took hold of the weight and it swung into his knees and almost took his kneecaps off. Looked like it hurt.”

“Ooooompf,” the other boys exclaimed.

“Stephanie then said it was ‘her bad’ and she would go find the kid weights in the back.” At the mention of this, the other boys laughed.

“Well, she’s quite funny. I would have loved to have met her. But go on big lad, tell us what feat of strength you performed,” asked Mendal.

“Ah yes. Ana, you’ve both met her right? You Mendal, from the Arva centaur recruiting mission, and you Archie, from your time investigating the gambler terrorist. Well, my fellow goliath joined me and Stephanie in a steel bending race. Stephanie handed us each a three feet long piece of steel that was an inch thick. Fastest to make both ends meet won. Stephanie said, ‘go!’ and we began bending the steel. I made my steel rod into a circle and then noticed the others were still bending theirs. I was a little worried that I didn’t understand the rules and that the winner was whoever could bend the most steel rods in a minute. But I soon realised Ana and Stephanie were still on their first rods, and there weren’t actually any more for us to bend. Ana finished next with Stephanie a little behind. Stephanie congratulated us on our strength. Derthaad wanted to know if I could unbend the rod. This was a good idea, since it meant someone else could have a go after me, so I straightened it.”

“Only giants should compete with Kavel for strength,” Mendal said with a grin on his face, “anything else?”

“Derthaad tried the trapeze. He was not bad. Ana tried as well, and she is a natural. She got a big applause and respect from the professionals. Lord Vandree got his fortune read. He said one of the cards drawn was the Lovers.”

The conversation halted temporarily as they decided to increase the heat from the magic brazier.

“What about you, Archie? What was your highlight? Did you cast a green giant illusion? I think I saw a green giant behind you while I was watching a pair of flying horses race around.” Kavel asked.

“Ah,” Archie began, “yes I did cast some magic…”

---

Archie Herding an Uncooperative Flock

“... there was an assault course for animals that caught my eye. I went over to have a look and saw Sterling - I had wondered why his knees were troubling him a bit. I also saw, and I know you two have met her, Glade, you know the earth-genasi? Then there was Rae, another earth-genasi, who I know from Daring Academy, and a new fella, bugbear called Jax - sharp dresser. Pinstripes suit him.”

Archie looked forward and sat up straight while he considered something for a moment, “you know I think I might get a couple of pinstripe suits made. I think I’d look quite good in stripes.”

Before Archie could wander off on a tangent about his fashion interests, Mendal got him back on track, “nevermind that you great dandy, what about the assault course?”

“Oh yes,” Archie replied, getting his focus back. “A young blond woman who looked like she had unfortunately seen a war was there with her twin, twelve year old children and their working dog, Bubbles. Lady Agnes was from Bloody Creek. She had a little one with her too. Her fun little activity involved members of the public racing to herd a billie goat, dander, goat a boar through the animal assault course faster than her children and dog could herd a flock of sheep through an identical, parallel course. It was all to raise funds for the rebuilding of Bloody Creek.”

“Ha! Cute!” Mendal said. “Yes,” Kavel nodded.

“Sterling exclaimed that making loud noises should get the animals to move.” Archie said while sighing.

“Ha” Of course he did.” Mendal said. “Yes,” Kavel nodded once again..

“Yes. Well, straight out of the starting block, Sterling signals to his dog-cannon to transform into it’s cannon form and fire a, shall we say, ‘direction leading’ shot above the animals’ heads. It did, to his credit, make most of the animals move forward in the right direction, but the boar raced off ahead of the others. We had some trouble getting it back to the herd!”

The other boys chuckled.

“Glade was brilliant. Transformed herself into a mastiff and led our flock of animals over a fence with mastery. Young Rae expertly led the animals through a winding path marked by poles. I on the other hand over complicated things trying to encourage our herd up an incline. I used the Major Image spell to create a believable, jolly, green giant to shepherd the herd over the top. They looked like they were about to do it, but then scattered! I should have copied Glade and just made a big mastiff, I guess. Lastly, while the kids had already finished the race, Jax tried to coax the animals through a tunnel by offering them one of his cigars.”

The other boys chuckled again.

“... it worked for the gander surprisingly!”

“Ha!” Both the boys said in unison.

“We received participant brooches, which the kids carved. They were quite good. And we got to draw a prize from a bag.”

“Oh you got that lump of coal, didn’t you?” Kavel asked.

“Ah! I knew there was something wrong with that,” Archie replied.

Before Archie could continue, Mendal cut him off, “yeah you’re getting on in human years and your eyesight’s failing you - can’t tell the difference between onyx and a lump of coal.”

“No Mendal. Wrong! I casted the Identify spell on my supposed piece of coal that everyone insisted was coal, and discovered it is in fact a most gorgeous gemstone, as I said it was. It has a magical property, you see; it is a gemstone that looks like a lump of coal when examined by anyone but the owner.” Archie was proud of his deduction, which both boys could see by the smirk on their wizard friend’s face.

“We’re supposed to just believe that are we?” Mendal jeered.

“When we get back home tomorrow we’ll weigh the gemstone against a similar sized lump of coal and then you’ll see!”

“Ha, ha! Okay fine. Just taking the piss,” Mendal said, proud of the reaction he got from Archie. “Ha, ha. Anything else happen?”

“Ah yes. The animals were strangely very cooperative for Agnes after the race was finished. Bloody hoodwinked us didn’t she! Clever woman. Anyway, she was wonderful really and the kids were too. Glade helped them prepare the assault course for new participants by summoning some raccoons. The raccoons were surprisingly good with a broom.”

Archie paused to take a sip of sherry, before continuing, “since I still had a green giant that looked very real, I entertained the children a little. I said to them that the giant could do any pose they did. They came up with a few poses and my illusory giant imitated them. They loved that. Also, young Rae joined in and we performed some basic illusory tricks to keep the smiles going, and since Glade summoned the raccoons, I even pulled one out of a top hat.”

“Good stuff, Archie,” Kavel said with a smile, and Mendal echoed the same.

“Thank you boys,” Archie said, warmed by both the sauna’s heat and his friends’ support. “How about you Mendal? Highlight?”

“Ah!” Mendal started, “smashing a snowball straight into some old geezer’s face!”

“I hope this was part of a set fair activity?” Archie asked with slight trepidation.

---

Mendal at The Winter Festival Snowball Championship!

“Yesssh! Of course it was,” Mendal responded. “It was in the fenced off area with the big snow mounds. Couple of knolls named Burt and Ernie were running it. Well dressed by the way, you would have loved their waistcoats, Archie.”

“Anyway,” Mendal cleared his throat. Sat in the middle of his friends, he put a hand on each of their arms and started recounting the Snowball Championship.

Mendal explained the rules; no throwing anything but snow, magic is allowed, but no summons, and lastly, if a contestant is hit with a snowball three times; they leave the arena. Last team standing wins, or the team with the most players at the end of the time limit wins.

“The best bit was when we saw the opposite team - a group of five elderly halflings and gnomes. Ha!”

“Seems unfair,” Archie observed, “no doubt you had a team of young adventurers?”

At the same time both Archie and Kavel realised something, and Mendal read the expression on their faces. “Yes, that's right! The small buggers were going to have a much easier time hiding behind the mounds of snow! Plus, they were ex-rangers dressed in bloody white!”

“Ooooof.” The other boys said in unison.

“Oh we had some tricks for these sneaky dicks! Elias, the eladrin you’ve met Kavel, he was my buddy; we took up position behind the same mound. He juiced himself with the Haste spell and hurled a smashing good snowball right into Steve’s face on the other side of the team divide. Little Flutter, the kenku unfroze the snow below Steve’s feet; messed up his aim trying to hit Elias back. And then, Daisy, she juiced herself with Haste! She hurled over a superfast snowball right at me. Elias reacted fast and magically wove a protective vine shield for me - with one fatal flaw - a bloody hole big enough for Daisy’s snowball to pass through and smack me in the chops!” Mendal pointed at the spot on his face where he was hit.

“Anyway,” the excited dwarf continued, “Arden, the air-genasi lad casted the Fog cloud spell and hid him and Flutter. Ex-Ranger buggers were never able to target them!”

“Felix, You know him right? The bard dwarf gave us a better time at spotting the white-cloaked buggers by casting Dancing Lights over the top of them. Unfortunately, he got absolutely pelted by a couple of snowballs. I walloped Steve though with a snowball of my own. Probably knocked his dentures out! Ha, ha! Then Elias got Steve with a third snowball and knocked him out of the contest, and at the same time pissed all over Daisy’s own Haste fun by dispelling it. Ha, ha!”

Mendal was very much enjoying recounting his story.

“We gave them so much abuse. Especially Steve and Daisy. Ha, Ha!” Mendal admitted with a wry smile on his face.

“Was this indicative of the level of sportsmanship one should expect at a snowball championship or just you and the team?” Archie asked with his own wry smile.

“Just a bit of fun isn’t it?!” Mendal said in defence, “you know, ‘friendly abuse’? Anyway, let me get on with the story - Mandy can’t hit for shit! Daisy, broken from all our abuse, couldn’t aim anymore. Or was that the come-down effect from losing the Haste spell? Anyway - Arden was firing off Guiding Bolts at Richard an...”

“Just a minute!” Archie interrupted. “Surely that was illegal? That spell can be very deadly.”

“The lad’s got good aim, don’t worry about it,” Archie said reassuringly (at least he thought it was reassuring). “He sort of blasted the mound in front of Richard, which removed the snow that Richard was hiding behind, but at the same time lit up the surrounding snow, guiding my own superbly thrown snowball right into Richard’s kisser! Felix got him good too! But Timothy hit Felix for three, and out went our bard.”

“Time was running out, boys. It was one member out for each team,” Mendal said, setting a dramatic tone for the final moments, “and then Elias sent Richard out of the arena with another well aimed snowball to the gob. And Flutter got a good one in on Daisy too!”

“Then Burt blew his horn, and declared our team the victors!” Mendal then pointed at the medal he still had on round his neck, “W.F.S.C - Winter Festival Snowball Champion! Look, it does a little magical effect, look at the flutter of snowflakes.”

“And the other team, how were they at the end?” Kavel asked.

“Ah they were fine! We all shook hands at the end. Anyway, if you thought I was bad, you should have heard all the abuse Elias was coming out with. Bloody Hell! And in complete contrast, he was the sweetest, kindest person they’d ever met once the contest was over!”

---

Thoughts for the Following Year

The boys talked about Aurelia’s speech at the end. They all agreed it was very good. They, perhaps Kavel the most, particularly enjoyed the moment Aurelia addressed all the fallen comrades that couldn’t be there to celebrate with them. More thoughts were given to Tim and Sampson, as the boys talked about how good it was to see Kruger come down from Fort Ettin with other staff members from the Fort.

The boys got dressed into their nighttime attire and in Archie’s room at the top of the tower, they had a nightcap of brandy before turning in.

“Ambitions for the new year fella’s?” Archie asked.

“Get stronger.”

“Naturally, Kavel. Anything else?”

“... I know. See Nathalie more. Learn Sylvan!”

“Very good! I’ll give you a hand with Sylvan from time to time.”

“Thank you.”

“And you, Mendal?” Archie asked.

“Argh. Maybe I’ll put some practice in and learn - what did you say your pal Kelne could do, Kavel? The Banishment and Stone Shape spells? I’ll add those to my repertoire.”

At the realisation that this meant Mendal would get back into adventuring, the other boys absorbed Mendal into a hug.

“Ha, ha! You soppy fuckers you!” Mendal said in a mock-admonishing tone. “I love you two tall bastards, too, c’mere!” And Mendal hugged his dear friends back.

“What about you, you old twig?” Mendal asked.

“I’m hitting the books harder. It’s a long way to go before I can cast either the True Polymorph or Clone spells, let alone afford the latter.”

“You’ll get there old boy,” Mendal said, believing in his human friend, and he beckoned him to bend down, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Mendal then turned around to Kavel, “you too giant!” Kavel knelt on the ground, and Mendal kissed him too.

“Right, come Kavel, let's leave Archie to his writing.” The dwarf and goliath said goodnight to their friend, and climbed down the ladder to the second floor where their beds were.

Archie sat at his desk, summoned his magic quill, and began writing, “Clone or True Polymorph? … Why not both?”

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