The Lost Hammer - 01/12/2022 - A Kavel Perspective

Strength Training with Timor

My little golden-headed lion tamarin, Timor, has taken to his deadlifting routine very well. What a good boy!

I was visiting Kruger at Strength Corner to see how things were going, and getting a workout in with Timor. We hit the showers afterwards and then headed into the Great Hall.

In the Great Hall I spot Tayz, my Arakocra Top Cleric friend and Glint, my Fire-Genasi Diplomacy Wizard friend. Tayz is well on his way to be a High Diviner of Horus, I believe. His time at Alistair McClearly’s house with the Book of Lesser Destiny has given him great guidance. Glint, has an awesome little vial that Archie told me about that aids with his Summon Dragon Spirit spell. It would be nice to see him summon his own Ulhar, like comrade Derthaad.

Comrade Itzal, my Half-Orc Punchy-Cleric friend, joined us. I hadn’t seen them since the first time I was in the Kobold and Goblin community and we discovered the little prank some kids were playing on the villagers. Comrade and fellow thicc-boi Toothy, the Drow Glaive Master joined us too. Always nice to have a slashy to my smashy in the party. He brought a hedgehog called Marta with him, in his magical, floating pouch. Timor was making a friend - not just with Marta though, Glint was feeding him cookies, which he was allowed since he did so well with his deadlifts today.

We had all read a note about a holy artefact of Torm (some god) that was in the hands of someone in the service of undead. We were to get it back for the Relic Chapel.

“Scuse me, you lot adventurers?” Asked a peasant man.


Peasant Man in the Great Hall

The peasant man from this Relic Chapel explained that his blessed lady received a vision that the hammer was used to make the lady’s armour that she inherited. He also explained that the lady was chosen by Torm, which means she is blessed. Never did the man give the lady’s name, but he was happy to emphasise that she is blessed, and chosen, and hence blessed.

Further questioning led to a discovery that the person who possessed the hammer was unlikely to be at the meeting place in the Angelbark… the adventure was not starting well. But then mist began to crawl in from the corners of the Great Hall as a fairly big raven swooped down onto our table with a note in its mouth. I took the note and read it out loud:



Glint explained who the Von Valds were. Immortals, or something like that. But, Johannus, the brother with the hammer, is a cultist arsehole who tried to sacrifice his family to Kelemvor (another god).

The raven flew up into the rafters and then vanished in mist. We heard hooves land on the flagstones outside the Great Hall. We went to have a look, and there before us was a black horse drawn carriage driven by a spectral man in a top hat. Toothy and I left our pets with uncle Kruger (who introduced Marta to animal strength training - we make programmes for animals too, because strength comes first for animals as well!). We climbed into the carriage, and drove for what seemed like fifteen minutes. It was midday when we left. Wherever we arrived, it was twilight already.


Some Twilight Place

The horses' hooves thumped down on a dirt road in the middle of a forest. One direction led up to a castle, the other elsewhere. Comrades Glint and Tayz recognised the castle in the distance. Once we dismounted the carriage it departed toward the castle. We walked in the opposite direction, and Tayz - as is his professional custom - gifted us a feather each from his plumage that invigorated us with a stronger constitution.

As we approached a clearing in the path, comrade Glint did a magical thing to transform his appearance so he looked like a different person, who he called, ‘Alnaar’. Glint became Alnaar, because he did not think it would be good if Johannus recognised him - he told us he fucked up Johannus’s plans some time ago. Glint also established a magical telepathic link between us all… people just help themselves to the inside of my head these days. Annoying, but I give comrade Glint a pass, since he’s in my top three best intelligent comrades.

As we got closer to the clearing, we could see a woman floating on the centre of a lake above some lilies and a man on the opposite end of this 100 ft diameter lake. He was touching the water - the very water we presumed we were told not to disturb. This man was Johannus. He was wearing dark plate armour, which had this useless feature to it; a chandelier mounted to the back plate, and by his side was a magical looking hammer.

Johannus stood up. He spoke softly from his side of the lake, but the words carried across the lake loud enough for us to hear:

“Why have you come to disturb my peace?”


Negotiations

Glint’s Diplomacy magic did not work very well that day, or was it Alnaar’s? I haven’t seen him in ages, I wondered if this diplomacy failure I witnessed wasn’t a new thing.

“How close are you to the grave?” Johannus continually and annoyingly asked while ignoring our own questions. To be fair to my diplomatic comrade, Johannus was full of himself.

“You are too close to the grave. I will bring you to your graves!” Johannus pompously said, whilst a light in his chest illuminated.


Battle at the Lake!

Itzal began running north around the lake to get to Johannus on the other side, and hurled a Guiding Bolt his way to slow him down. Glint casted a radiant crown of seven motes around his head, as he walked in the same direction as Itzal, and released one of the motes towards our adversary. The impact of the radiant mote seemed to hurt Johannus, but not as much as I was expecting. Toothy caught up with Itzal, glaive at the ready. Tayz flew to where our comrades headed, blessing them with divine magic and bringing his Adder staff to life at the same time.

I did not join my comrades running around the lake northwards. I decided the fastest way to Johannus was a straight line - across the lake we were not supposed to disturb. Of course, if you have powerful flight legs, you do not have to worry about lakes and disturbing them. I quickened my breathing to pump oxygen deep into my muscles and entered a battlerage. I then lowered into a deep squat, looked across the lake at Johannus on the other side, and propelled myself up and across the 100ft lake, and landed just on the other side, with the lake now only a few feet behind me, and Johannus merely 20ft away.

This left Johannus with little choice but to engage me. Good. The hammer glowed blue in his hand, as he extended the other hand towards me and a spectral, emaciated hand flew at my chest and reached inside me. I heard the word, “you’re grave calls to you,” as the magical hand extracted itself from my chest and vanished. I was feeling sluggish at that moment, perhaps poisoned, as he charged forward with the hammer behind him and swung the hammer into my body. The bludgeoning impact, if you could call it that, was pitiful to be honest, and the radiant force I barely noticed too. I saw it coming a mile away. But maybe the poison from the spectral hand had affected me, because I slipped backwards into the lake, disturbing the lake quite a bit with my 7’4”, 300lbs body.

I began to sink - crap!

Lotus vines reached up from the water loosely wrapping around me and pulled at me towards the centre of the lake. I looked into the water and saw a reflection of myself, which split into two reflections of me, and then their faces turned into Tim and Sampson. But Tim and Sampson were emaciated and their eyes gone, and I was not fond of seeing my dead bros like that. The sorrow almost made me forget to try and grip the side of the lake.


Battle in the Lake!

I was fixed on the appearance of my dead bros, but the shadow of a large creature above me broke my concentration. So, I looked above and saw a gem dragon with flower petal and leaf shaped scales reach in with its hind legs to grab me, from the shallow end of the lake. Where the apparition of my bros were, I had the impression of being much deeper and nearer the centre, I then realised it wasn’t the case. Unfortunately, whatever reason I had for slipping into the lake, the dragon, which later Glint told me was called Fragalis, also slipped. And if you thought my frame disturbed the lake, Fragalis made a grand splash next to me, and the waves pushed me back towards the edge, just as I had time to see Tim and Sampson disappear and Kruger now appear emaciated and eyeless at the bottom of the lake. Fragalis’s fumbled assist was still appreciated as it helped me shift my focus from the horrible images at the bottom of the lake towards a more important matter; getting out! I turned around, gripped my fingers around some rocks and pulled myself out of the water. Above me, Tayz, flapping his wings casted a restorative spell on me - no effect. With quick thinking he tried again with a more powerful spell and the poisonous spectral chill was cleansed from within me.

Where I saw the others run to, before I had my head in the lake, Johanus had now reached. There were some glaive slashes on his body. Good.

Johannus hit Glint from afar with a similar thing he did to me as I watched Glint curl over in agonising pain. Johannus then brought the hammer down on Itzal and Toothy painfully. Fortunately, they were not bashed towards the lake. I couldn’t see much from where I was, I had to get over there.


Second Flight of Air Half-Giant!

Itzal divinely cursed Johannus calling on Kelemvor’s name - it seemed my comrade and foe both worshipped Kelemvor. Bit weird.

Fragalis disappeared from the lake, I could see Glint was still in pain. Despite this, he did a Derthaad classic and casted Psychic Lance at Johannus causing him mental pain and dropping the fancy-armoured ponce to his knees. His cultish mind was vulnerable to psychic attacks, it seemed, and another of Gint’s crown’s motes hit Johannus in the chest. Toothy took advantage and brought the glaive round viciously into Johannus knocking him prone. It seemed like Toothy’s glaive should have had a percussive and painful impact as the blade whacked the armour. But, this armour looked very, very well made. It was time to get a better look. I high-fived comrade Tayz’s talon in thanks, and then propelled myself into the sky again, across the lake northwards and landed side by side with my comrades in front of Johannus. Comrade Tayz followed. As I landed, Tayz attempted a melee ranged spell, but it did not go off as expected, so he wisely retreated to a safe distance. Unwisely, he stopped and floated above the lake - it drew him in with lotus vines and he began to sink.

Johannus, despite his resilient plate armour, was looking worse for wear - that was until he began healing himself as we saw wounds knit themselves closed. He then used his spectral hand on Toothy and swung the hammer round twice at me, just as I was rising from my landing. Big swings, but pitiful impact. If only I could finally get my hands on him, I’d show him how a bludgeoning strike should feel like!

Johannus had words for his fellow Kelemvor worshipper, comrade Itzal, “you know the grave far less than I do.”

“Dude. Fuck off!” Was comrade Itzal’s response. Short, firm, and strong. I liked it.


Half-Giant and Half-Orc Smashing Punch Combos!

We had to reach comrade Tayz who was further into the lake than I ever was. So, we had to end Johannus with haste.

Glint hurled a psychic spell at Johannus who shook it off, only to be hit full force by another of Glint’s crown’s motes hidden behind the first spell. Johannus screamed in pain. Toothy attacked recklessly with fury slashing his glaive into the weaker parts of Johannus’s plate. This was awesome, but Toothy did not look well. He had not had the benefit of Tayz’s divine healing like me, after I was touched by Johannus’s spectral hand. We needed comrade Tayz back on dry land.

Itzal, to my surprise and great delight stepped in on Johannus and unwound four powerful punches into his body and head in rapid succession. It wasn’t Stonehand Fighting Technique, but it was really good. It shook Johanus up, and I followed up with a big right cross of my own sending him backwards.

Johannus fell from my right cross into Itzal. So, he grabbed hold of them, but with the poisoning spectral hand and then attempted what looked like a powerful spell for all of us. But, it fizzled out! Johannus was on the ropes. So, Itzal cracked him in the jaw, bringing him back down to his knees, and then slumped on the ground. It should have been over right then, but the hammer flashed as he was able to say some final words, “the grave will take us all…” and in a split second the clearing was engulfed by spectral hands reaching into us. A final attempt at thwarting us. I shook off the pain as the hands vanished. Everyone was okay. Okay, but both Itzal and Glint had aged immensely from the final spectral attack. Despite their advanced age, Itzal crushed Johannus’s face with a final punch. Nice! Much respect.


Immediate Aftermath!

We lassoed Tayz out of the lake.

Itzal and Toothy were suffering badly from the poison. But, it was Itzal and Glint who were suffering the biggest internal wounds. So, Tayz immediately went to work healing both Itzal and Glint.

Lotus vines reached out of the lake and grabbed onto Johannus’s body and began dragging it into the lake. The hammer remained where it was. Glint casted a Wall of Force to surround us and Johannus, preventing the vines from bringing him into the water. It was concluded that Johannus’s plate was made of adamantine. So, with ten minutes of Glint’s protective and vine blocking spell up, we began stripping Johannus of his plate.

Tayz called towards Horus for a Divine Intervention. No luck. He was also too exhausted to do anything about Itzal and Glint’s magical ageing. More importantly, he could not remove the poisonous curse from Itzal and Toothy either.

Toothy, with thicc-boi energy managed to shake off the curse’s effect. Itzal augmented their constitution with a self-blessing to combat the poison. I, remembering my Gougaloragran crystal, extracted it from my pocket and applied its powerful saving magic to Itzal’s Bless spell, and they too shook off the poisonous curse.

I offered Glint assistance walking back to the carriage pick-up spot, on account of him being very old now. Glint shot a Fireball behind me. He stated that I was being a cheeky whippersnapper. I said nothing, and gathered all the plate armour into my loot tarp and walked behind him back up the path. Toothy brought the hammer.

As we left, the Wall of Force dissipated and Johannus’s body reached the lady in the lake. Glint looked back and shot another two Fireballs at them. Johannus’s corpse and the lady were fine, but all the lotus vines were scorched to ash. The two bodies sank into the water. It seems my comrade, Glint, is a cranky old man. But the lake, in fairness, deserved it. If we have to come back, I’ll help Glint destroy it.

As we approached the spot where the clearing became the path, there was a man in fancy clothing on the floor, on his knees in tears. Toothy wanted to help, but Glint advised we had done more than enough things in this weird realm, it was best we just leave.

We arrived at our pick up spot and the carriage arrived. We climbed in, and back we went to Fort Ettin.


Fort Ettin

By the time we got back, the peasants had multiplied.

There was a church on wheels by the Fort’s entrance, made of wood and stone. This was the Moving Chapel of Torm. We handed over the hammer, and were paid 300gp each.

We never learned who the blessed lady was, but no one was upset about taking a powerful hammer from an arsehole and giving it to an unknown. It seemed like the better result.

Both Itzal and Glint, for 100gp of their earnings each, managed to find an untapped cleric to magically restore themselves to their youthful selves.


Daring Heights - Dwarven Quarter Residence

I went back to Daring Heights and showed the adamantine plate and stupid chandelier feature it had to Mendal. I was hoping he’d be able to remove it neatly with some smithing tools.

“So it’s not for me then?” He asked.

“No.”

“Even though this is made out of magical metal, and you know I came to this place to work with magical metals, and you know I could wear this plate?”

“... yes bro.”

“Unbelievable!”

“Sorry bro,” my Dwarf Forge Cleric friend was staring daggers up at me, “it’s not mine to give unfortunately, but I knew you’d want to at least see it, and you are the best smith in Kantas, so you’d do the best job in removing the excessive decorative crap.”

Mendal’s eyes warmed as he heard me say he was the best smith. It is true though. Plus, I’ve had much practice placating my bro Ivan with compliments to get him to do things. I knew complementing Mendal’s crafting ability would calm him.

“Fine,” Mendal said, “I’ll remove the chandelier bit, if the buyer doesn’t want it. It’s easy. And anyway, look at the drab thing. I wouldn’t want it. It may be made of adamantine, but its craftsmanship is crap. I’d make a much better set of full plate if I had adamantine.”