Witching Stream - 25/10/2022 - A Kavel Perspective

First Spirit Road Journey

It was a success!

When it was time to travel the Spirit Road, the bangle tugged at me, and I could swear I heard the drumming from the bonding ritual that set the bangle on my forearm. I had the hamper from the Four Fair Winds in one hand, and the Sending Stones in the other. In no time at all, I appeared by Nathalie in the Damphenite Tangle; items in hand.

I asked about further attacks on the Spirit Road, and the meeting with Queen Titania. Nathalie said there were no further attacks so far, and the meeting went as expected. I told her the news that Derthaad managed to have the Unseelie mark removed by helping a woman called Drusilia. This news seemed to be taken well. And Nathalie said she would love to come see me in the Dawnlands next time. I better think of something for us to do come the time - other than one-on-one training sessions that is. I remembered, there was a Winter Festival advertised in New Hillborrow…


Strength Corner - Fort Ettin

Kruger mentioned Varga had made use of Strength Corner a couple of times now. In fact I’d just missed her before I came to check in with Kruger and his PT session with Archie - and to offload my little buddy Timur (lion-faced golden tamarin) to the pair of them while I went off to join Varga on an excursion somewhere. I wasn’t sure where we were going. I keep travelling to lots of new planes during my adventures. I am not affected by the cursed Staircase addiction (...anymore). But, I am excited to see new places nevertheless. Varga mentioned the person we were helping is amphibian. They like climates similar to regular humanoids. Maybe we were going somewhere temperate?

Varga only mentioned a few details about why we were going to help the frog-person Grung, called D’lhoon, but known also as The Space Hopper. She also mentioned a thing called a ‘Witch Stream’.

“Kruger. Bro, what is a Witch Stream?”

“... I don’t know bro. What is a Witch Stream?”

“No bro. I am asking you,” I said, realising I had to clarify matters.

“Oh… Erm. Pass.” Kruger didn’t know either.


Meeting The Space Hopper

My thicc-boi comrade Ivan was there! So, three thicc-bois, including Varga on the mission. Together we were a thicc human with a greataxe, a thicc half-orc with a sword and flail, and a thicc goliath with hands of stone. We had ourselves another thicc-boi excursion! D’lhoon themselves is quite ‘thicc-adjacent’, as a 4’½ ft tall warrior with a spear-sword that has a blade at each end. Laurel, the really pleasant halfling healing expert that Archie and Mendal told me about, was here to help too.

D’lhoon explained that she is a protector of the Grung people. But, Cynthia Sunder ‘The Witch of Infinite Renown’ used magic to make them believe they weren’t good enough, and were an imposter. Varga and Laurel helped them break the magical curse, and D’lhoon has been trying to stop Cynthia from doing what she does to others across the different planes. D’lhoon, in some sense, was fortunate, as others had their very renown removed, and seemingly absorbed into Cynthia. D’lhoon, instead, was made simply to forget they were worthy of renown.

I was all in for helping my thicc-boi comrade Varga regardless, but now I knew some bitch was effectively stealing memories. Well, this was a sore spot for me - I’ve sacrificed skill to a memory-eating arsehole and I’ve been losing my memories on this Loviatan problem in Daring Heights. I hate memory-stealing psychic crap!

D’lhoon further explained that Cynthia is some kind of entertainer who projects herself into other people’s casting of divination spells. She had a talent for appearing in magic-user’s magic balls. D’lhoon referred to this as witch streaming… Witch Stream.

D’lhoon then mentioned that Cynthia was a fiend, and that we would have to travel to… Phlegethos the 4th level of Hell to find her, and permanently kill her.

Phlegethos - this almost meant a pass for me. Why would I want to go back to that literal hellhole? Varga herself seemed to get it, she looked a little despondent when that oppressively hot location was mentioned. Damn it! I went to the Damphenite Tangle with shorts on, because it’s so tropically warm there. I came to Fort Ettin with my work trousers. Had I known where I’d be going, I would have kept the shorts on!

At the very least, we would be travelling to a part of Phlegethos I hadn’t seen. Turns out I had seen what could loosely be described as the ‘countryside’ with the dark, crappy mountains and stupid river of lava. We would be travelling instead to the outskirts of a city, to Abriymoch, an entertainment hub full of taverns. A carnival town for devils with a day off from work.


Off to Hellhole Phlegethos

We wanted to get there, kill the witch, and then leave. No dilly dallying. Too hot in Phlegethos for dilly dallying. So, making our way to Cynthia without having to battle an army would be great. Ivan pointed out that three of us stand out like a thicc-sore thumb. D’lhoon said we would have to see how we could get to Cynthia once we were in Hell. Varga mentioned her concern for having her mind controlled through enchantment magic, and then being turned against us. To be honest, I was more worried about Ivan being mind-controlled. He goes into the most reckless and frenzied of rages when he swings his greataxe, he could really hurt the party if he was controlled. However, it turns out his ability to go completely ballistic makes him impervious to charms (and likely reason to!) so that was an interesting thing to learn. On balance though, between me and Varga, I was more concerned with her being controlled. I believe with her two weapons and strange raiding zealotry she likely is more dangerous than me. And, even though I believe my body is easily the best conditioned out of my two thicc-boi companions - Kruger said he noticed that in training Varga, when she’s really exhausted, seems to turn into a kind of zombie and her conditioning then flies in the face of all logic. So, on balance, I was fine with being the thicc-boi vulnerable to psychic control; no way did I want the berserker axe man to be controlled, and fortunately he couldn’t be. But, I also didn’t want to slash and smash Varga into unconsciousness with Ivan’s help only to see her gain some freakish undead second wind and put our stamina to the test. No. I hate psychic magic, but best it be me who gets mind controlled if it comes to that.

Ivan, as I expected, was taking umbrage at Varga suggesting she was the most dangerous among us.

“I can get rid of charms,” comrade Laurel piped up rather helpfully, both in terms of how useful her magic was going to be, and for ending a conversation about egos.

Jenna came over to us and noticed we had our own means of planeshifting thanks to D’lhoon. She was ready to leave us, but then asked about this Tim guy. I only know of a Tim from Daring Academy. Archie told me that this guy was a suspect for the gambling hall ransom a while ago. Apparently this Tim guy stiffed Varga and a few others out of 500gp. Jenna asked us to keep an eye out for Tim. She was hoping all Tim related business would be sorted before the Winter fair.

We were ready to leave. Jenna said she’d have some cold drinks for us when we come back. In advance of that, I filled up a large water skin. Poppy removed her scarves and wrapped them round her pet goat, Poppy. Everyone has a familiar or a pet, and now that includes me.

Jenna and Poppy were accompanied by Kruger, Archie and Timur, and they waved us goodbye, as D’lhoon drove their double sword staff into the ground, and we planeshifted away.


Phlegethos - Unexpected Second Visit

It was literally infernally hot.

Sweat emerged from every pore in my body and stuck to my skin as the horrid humidity of the place added to the unbearableness.

Unlike my first visit to Hell, we found ourselves in the back alley of a town. The architecture of the town was horrible. Rusted iron frames and spikes everywhere. Lots of fiends in the streets. Tieflings too. Some humans, imps and some fire elementals. We didn’t seem to draw that much attention.

There was a banner advertising Cynthia Sundar at a local stadium. We followed the directions to an enormous building with similar banners. There were stalls selling show merchandise. There were figures of Cynthia for sale. Cynthia looks like a tiefling to me, with the horns on her head and her cloven feet.

A large illusion took shape outside the stadium, and it gave us a view of the inside of the arena. Standing on an elaborate stage stood Cynthia Sundar welcoming and thanking the attendees in the crowd for coming tonight. The central stage was a 40ft diameter stone structure. It also seemed to be surrounded by a water feature. The central stage was flanked by two distant rectangular, 30ft x 15ft side stages. All three platforms were connected by a walkway. Safe access to the centre stage could be reached from the side stages where there were steps up to the 5ft raised stages. There were four pools of water surrounding the centre stage as well. In a sense, it was pleasing to see so much water in this oppressively hot plane. I drank the extra, large water skin on the walk to the stadium. Maybe I could refill it here? However, the reason I said ‘safe access’ before, was because the water features all had sharks in them.

On stage, reluctantly and very much dejected was an elf - a victim of Cynthia’s renown theft. The crowd were going wild and beginning to chant Cynthia’s name.

It was rapidly decided that we would try and save the elf from whatever fate awaited her. Ivan’s initiative, and without mentioning remuneration. My bro’s heroic side was showing. Very strong.

Varga had us go to the backdoor and say we were tribute to Cynthia and to be sacrificed in place of the elf, and that we would put on a better show to boot. I wasn’t confident in this plan, but to my surprise, it worked. We were let through. A tiefling attendant raised an iron gate for us and we walked into the arena facing the centre stage.


Already Thicc Entrance Gets Swoller

As we walked in Laurel casted a protection spell on Varga. Varga blew an ornate hunting horn. I thought this was something her raiding party does to announce their presence. I told her the tiefling attendant has probably informed Cynthia of our arrival and she’ll announce us. But then as the horn’s notes carried, eleven berserker orcs magically appeared swelling our numbers. It was a shame Varga’s business plan for sustainable raiding wasn’t working out, because it looked like she had acquired employees without any overheads.

Cynthia was taller than me. She looked about 9ft tall. D’lhoon stepped out in front of us and aggravated Cynthia by voicing our intent (and interrupting the show too, I guess). Cynthia theatrically announced to the audience that D’lhoon managed to resist her. The crowd booed and hissed. Then Cynthia said she would rectify matters and add D’lhoon’s and all our renown to her fortune. The crowd lapped that up and cheered.

Cynthia vanished. And a pair of cambions on each of the side stages suddenly flanked us. A fox-humanoid stood behind one of the four plinths between the central water feature and the four side ones (I was later told this was an arcanaloth). Oh and of course there were the sharks in the water, but it’s not like they could attack out of melee range, so who cares about them, right?


Abriymoch Rockem Sockem Raiders!

D’lhoon ran and leapt up the centre stage, and took a swing with their sword staff in the air where Cynthia was. Nothing. But we all heard Cynthia’s whelp. She had not teleported, she was merely invisible!

As the rest of my comrades began to move and intercept the threat of the cambions, the crowd went crazy and let out an infernal roar. The sound was deafening. It appeared to startle my comrades a little. Varga managed to reach D’lhoon and back them up on centre stage. Varga’s berserkers looked a bit lost. But, they started to slowly make their way, split up, to the side stages to attack the cambions.

Ivan went full frenzy and began running to the right hand stage. I decided to join him. I squated low, and propelled myself into the air with my flight legs and reached the nearest cambion before my bro. I missed my first punch whilst I was landing, but followed up with two solid right hooks to the kidney of the cambion.

I glanced to my side to see centre stage, and saw Cynthia reappear behind D’lhoon and charm them, and then go invisible again. The arcanaloth leapt to the top of a pillar and then unleashed a reddish-black chain lightning spell at Varga’s western moving berzerkers. They managed to avoid the brunt of the scorching burns, but I could smell burnt flesh from where I was on the opposite side of them.

Laurel tried to catch Cynthia in a spell to render the invisibility pointless, but Cynthia dodged. Laurel then teleported to the unconscious elf woman. As she did this, two blasts of fire went over my shoulders - the cambion behind me missed their attacks from 10ft away. The cambion in front of me, whose right hand kidney I was mashing, turned around and stabbed me a little with their spear. Feeling only mildly threatened, I chanced a glance at the opposing side stage, and saw Varga’s western boys getting pelted with fire from the other cambions. The berserkers, fortunately, were still standing as they edged closer to where the cambions would be in range of their axes.

A set of gates behind me opened. A centaur-like creature with jagged bone growths that protected it emerged. This was an armanite, and like all other entrants after us; he was not on team thicc-bois. The armanite also had a very dangerous looking serrated sword for a tail. The crowd roared with delight at his entrance.


The Armoured Cavalry Arrives

The armanite galloped towards the circular shark tank surrounding the centre stage and lept over sharks to join his invisible ally/employer. The toughened centaur held one arm back behind his head, and a lance-like polearm of lightning appeared in his grip. He hurled the lance. I have a javelin of lighting myself. I knew what would happen. The lance flew through Varga and D’lhoon’s space, over their heads and into one of the four berzerkers on the western side of the arena. An arc of lighting from the centre stage to the four berzerkers flashed and crackled before us, scorching painful burns into everyone in its reach. I was impressed the berserkers were still up, and delighted that the pain broke D’lhoon free of Cynthia’s charm - they stopped attacking Varga. Varga seemed cool about it.

Cynthia, reappeared behind Laurel and racked her back with her claws. But that wasn’t all. In the process of this attack, she had magically stolen the ioun stone Laurel had floating above her head. Magical thief! I must admit, I was now weary of punching her; what if she was able to take my Stonehand Fighting Techniques tattoos from my hands? Worse; my Danphenite bangle?

I did not dwell on the thought for long, as Ivan joined me on the stage to attack the cambion whose kidney I was softening. The cambion wisely dodged two of Ivan’s tree-felling slashes, but they couldn’t evade the third, as a deep and heavy cut opened up, cutting through the weak armour of the cambion. Blood gushed out of the wound. I decided to expedite the poor cambion’s demise, and grabbed his shoulder and yanked him backwards, and away from Ivan. As the dying cambion’s face came into range, I fired a blistering overhand right into his face. The cambion crashed into the floor; dead. The cambion’s body began to turn into ash - so dramatic, but clean, I guess.

I looked back over to centre stage and saw Varga land a slashing sword strike with necrotic fury at Cynthia. Varga opened her mouth wide, teeth on display and yelled out a powerful battlecry. It made me feel like I couldn’t miss. The crowd got a little hostile at whatever it was Varga was saying when she yelled out. They were probably also upset at the repeated sword strikes hitting Cynthia.

“Don’t worry mate. Varga and D’lhoon have got her,” Ivan said following my glance to the middle of the arena. I agreed, and sprung myself towards the cambion behind me, and darted to his side to get a good angle for my next punch. I let my left hand rip towards his side - kidney punch!

As the berserkers on the right flank engaged the cambions, the sharks demonstrated they were more than ornamental. They had wands strapped to the top of their backs. They rose up from their tanks and fired scorching rays at anyone foreign to Abriymoch. Many of the berserkers fell to this magical assault. What a dastardly way to give the sharks a ranged attack. Several rays hit me, but whatever.

Cynthia took advantage of the distraction from the sharks and loosed ripples of negative energy at Varga, before going invisible once again. Varga heroically shrugged off the pain.

The little skirmishing fox-man jumped on his pillar once more, and this time launched a giant fireball at the centre stage. Varga, Laurel and D’lhoon managed to evade the centre of the blast. The berserkers and the prone elf lady; not so much. Laurel had some work cut out for her. I saw her amass an immense amount of healing energy, and every ally and victim on centre stage no longer looked like they had just been hit from a fireball. The fox man went back into hiding, as Laurel moved back to the prone elf. I saw the armanite seizing an opportunity to slash Laurel mid movement, but Varga intercepted and cut him with her blade first.


The Final Act

The armanite had not provided the level of backup that Cynthia now realised she was missing. D’lhoon went ballistic and slashed the air where they last saw Cynthia with such frenzy, you would have thought it was Ivan attacking. Several of D’lhoon’s cuts landed clean. Cynthia, now visible, was in a very bad way.

Perhaps inspired by someone else’s frenzy, Ivan came charging from our stage to the centre and ran his greataxe down Cynthia’s front, opening up her wounds further. The armanite was too engaged with Varga to have aided Cynthia. He managed to hurt Varga though, to his credit. But, not significantly, as Varga bumped him aside, moved closer to Cynthia and with a horizontal slash of her longsword, cut Cynthia’s head from her neck. Body and head fell to the ground, and began to dissolve. There was no noise from the crowd. It was silent except for our movement on stage.

All sorts of magic began flying away from Cynthia’s dissolving body. Laurel’s Ioun stone was returned to her, and the prone elf appeared to have magic returned to her as she regained consciousness under Laurel’s supervision.

The fox-man, cambions and armanite all fled.

I jumped over to the centre stage to be with my comrades as a new devil approached, Abershire.


Quick Exit

Abershire announced to us that he was the new owner of the building, and with an interest to show gratitude for our part in this and to get rid of us, he suggested we follow him out the back before the crowd realises they could storm the stage at any time and show us how displeased they are that we just killed their favourite entertainer, Cynthia. We followed Abershire.

Out by the merchandise stands, D’lhoon thanked us for our help. They were very grateful and immensely delighted that Cynthia was now permanently dead and couldn’t bother anyone any more.

By way of thanks, Abershire gave us an elaborate flying broom which was decorated with a shark’s skeleton. Varga took this. Also, there were these flaming gauntlets. Ivan offered them to me, but I thought he’d look really cool with a flaming greataxe, so he took them.


Fort Ettin

D’lhoon got us back to Fort Ettin with their magical sword staff, and rewarded us with 200gp each. We took the elf we rescued from Phlegethos, Esmerelda was her name, with us. Jenna helped her get back to the Sword Coast. Esmerelda did not seem particularly grateful. She didn’t reward us.

We went into the Great Hall for drinks. Kruger came by with Archie and Timur.

“Kruger!” I shouted as my trio of buddies entered. “Varga killed a witch! Cut her head clean off!”

“No?”

“Yes. Tell him, Varga!” Varge told him, and I made her tell him about the berserkers too.

Varga has the mark of Air and Darkness. It’s a shame she will not get it removed like comrade Derthaad. But, I guess that is just so like Varga. I hope this won’t be a big issue for Nathalie when I eventually introduce them. Hopefully the pair of Thicc-Girls will see the respective thicc’ness in each other and get along.

I explained to Kruger what a Wtich Stream was, now that I knew. He said it sounded like a distraction from more important things like getting stronger. I agreed.