The Messenger

That has been Gerhard's mantra these past few days - one step, one day, one breath at a time.

It has taken him all over Daring Heights, spreading the news of Orianna's departure. To the Stars and Night Sky Department, a place all too familiar, where he leaves a letter for the Head. To the Academy Housing staff, with whom he ensures that Orianna's apartment will continue to be paid for, no he does not know when she will return. To a yew, standing proud in the Dusk Yard, where he pours an apology out for Nim, a friend he has not met and now may never have the chance to.

Today, his mantra takes him outside of the city walls, to a small copse of trees where he knows to find one Ilthuryn Willowood. Orianna had told him much about the wood elf and their lessons together: her learning CSL, their shared origins in the Cosmos.

He had been dreading this one. A professor, a landlord, a friend far away: these are easy. Or, easier. A friend, a tutor, a peer, a short walk from home?

Gerhard stops at the border of the grove, a hand placed on the trunk of a tree to steady himself. He takes a deep breath, before asking to the wood: "Ilthuryn? Are you there?"

From in the copse there is a faint whistle, and looking further in Gerhard can see a hammock strung up between two trees. A lithe wood elf quickly hops out from where he had seemingly been resting and walks over to Gerhard, faintly trailing stardust as he does. He smiles and waves at Gerhard as his night sky eyes look up and down the unfamiliar figure. He reaches into a pouch on his waist and produces a short piece of bark, on which is inscribed in common:
"Hello! I am Ilthuryn Willowood. Unfortunately I cannot speak but if you know CSL I will be most happy to communicate that way. Otherwise please let me know and I will attempt to find another way of speaking. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Gerhard accepts the bark, reading it quickly. He hands it back to Ilthuryn, nodding his head. "Hello Ilthuryn. My name is Gerhard." From his bag, he withdraws a small notebook and a few writing implements. "I'm afraid I do not know CSL, but Orianna did mention she brings some materials when she visits. Are these sufficient?"

At the mention of his name there is a twinkle of starlight in Ilthuryn's eyes. He takes the notebook and begins writing at great speed, as if the inability to speak and the requirement to write to communicate has lead to a certain skill with the written word...

"Gerhard, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I've heard a lot. Do you know where Orianna is?? I haven't seen her around for weeks I'm getting worried."

"Ah."

As Ilthuryn looks over the man in front of him, he begins to notice the sun as it catches in the landscape of his face. Eyes, sunken and dark from lack of sleep. Cheekbones, rough and prominent, framing a beard that has seen many days without oil or tidying.

Gerhard's head falls, his nose pointed at the ground at their feet. "Ori- I'm here on her behalf. Do you... do you have a place we may sit?"

Ilthuryn pulls off the bearskin cloak he wears and lays it on the ground in front of Gerhard before sitting down on the rough ground and gesturing for Gerhard to sit on the skin.

"Thank you."

Gerhard sits, folding his legs beneath him and placing both hands on his knees. His gaze lingers on his fingers, on shuffling his legs until they are comfortable, until he raises his face to meet Ilthuryn's.

"I'm afraid Orianna has been taken."

Ilthuryn had been rooting through a small pack next to him with a cheerful smile. When Gerhard speaks he freezes, the smile not leaving but the eyes slowly shifting from pleasant to shocked to anger. Suddenly his head whips back around and he signs a simple sign, not realising Gerhard cannot understand.

"Who"

The smile is gone, the motions are stiff.

"It.. she..."

Gerhard sighs, a hand reaching up to run through his hair. He twists, pulling out from where it rests on his shoulder his silver longbow, shimmering in the light as it filters through the leaves. He places it on his thighs, plucking the drawstring lightly with a thumb as he thinks of the words to say.

"How much has she told you, Ilthuryn? Of.. me, and my demons?"

Ilthuryn slowly reaches for the book and begins writing.

"Not much, I didn't ask for details. Who took her?"

"An evil creature called Mister. An Infinite, one of the chosen few that the Staircase makes its own." He shakes his head, eyes downcast to the bear skin below them. "He took her because of me, Ilthuryn. Because I took from him, and partnered with his sister, and got in the way of his plans." He raises a head, struggling but knowing that he must. "I'm sorry."

"So it's your fault she's gone?"

"Yes."

"Fix it then. If you need my help I will, but fix it"

For a brief moment, Gerhard's eyes go hard, his irises flashing silver in the reflected light of The Call. The feeling passes, though, and he nods.

"My steward, Andromeda, is looking as we speak. The Infinite Staircase is not something one can search in an afternoon." He is not sure which of the two men sat atop the bearskin the words are meant for. "Ilthuryn, I will not rest until she is home safe."

"Where is this staircase? I will search it. I don't care if it takes time she's my friend, that's supposed to mean something right? You mean so much to her, I hope that she means as much to you. Your lack of ability to keep her safe says otherwise but there's still time to find her." The writing is precise, deliberate. "Gerhard, you fucked up, you lost my friend. You being sad about it and me being furious doesn't help find her. We need to find her, how can I help?"

Gerhard's forearms are taut, his hands shaking as he grips his longbow. The truth runs through him like a knife, cutting deep to his core.

His words, when they escape through gritted teeth, are shaky. "I know, Ilthuryn. I know. Do you not think I've tried? Do you believe I would rather be delivering this news? I begged to be given a door to the Stairs to search for her. I made a deal that he was to be kept away."

He shakes his head, bloodshot eyes staring at Ilthuryn. "I cannot accept your help, either. I will not lose any others to these Stairs."

Ilthuryn scowls and writes harder, almost breaking the charcoal he is using.

"What you want doesn't matter here. You didn't want her to be taken, and it happened, you wanted to be the one to defend her, and you failed. I'm not offering you help I'm saying I'm going to help get her back and if you're involved I will put aside any feelings I have against you."

There is a small twinkle in the starry eyes and Ilthuryn sighs, suddenly looking less angry and more tired.

"I came to Kantas an oddity, but at least here I was an oddity in a land of oddities and not simply the stand out to be looked upon as a weirdo. And then I found someone like me. She could speak and she had a different way of hearing the stars but she was like me, she shared my passion for them, my desire to seek them and listen to their advice. And then slowly she began talking about you and I was happy because she was happy, and then she started to talk less of stars and more of you, and when I tried to see her more often she was busy with you. And now you come to me and tell me you have lost her. Gerhard, you cannot tell me now that you will be the one to find her alone, let me help you gods dammit or I'm going by myself. I may not like you these days but I respect that together we can do so much more than if I went alone."

Gerhard reads what the other man writes, the elf's anger clear in the ink he has left. His own fingers tighten on the pages of the notebook, bending the parchment as his knuckles become a stark white.

He opens his mouth to speak, to rage at Ilthuryn, to ask what he plans to do against the raging tide of the Infinite. To ask what he can do that a Chosen cannot. To question if he truly understands what he intends to do, walking the Staircase alone and becoming one with it.

But. He remembers, sitting in Fort Ettin, speaking to Kavel. Speaking of their loves and lives and what they will do next. And the words his goliath comrade said.

Ilthuryn sits across from Gerhard, legs folded, his expression tired and weary. They are much the same, in this moment, Gerhard thinks - grief and guilt and the need for action hover in the air above. He slowly hands the notebook back. "Ilthuryn.. I- You have every right to be upset with me. Every word you said of me is true."

He brushes a small leaf off of his pants. "You clearly care for Orianna. And so you know that she needs no defenders. Not me, and not you. Do I bear the weight of what has happened? Have I brought this monster to her door and invited it in? Yes. And I will pay that debt for the rest of my life."

The leaf, lying where it was brushed onto the cloak, is flicked off into the brush. "I know you wish to help. And if it were possible, I would open a doorway and we would leave now. But I can't, and... instead I wait. Sit, and wait, and trust that Andromeda is working to find her. That Orianna is far more capable than I, and if anyone can weather this storm and return home, it is her."

There is a long silence, almost unbearably slow. The next time Ilthuryn writes it is slow and careful, almost delicate.

"Tea?"

"Yes, please."

Ilthuryn carefully continues rooting through the pack and pulls out a small clay pot and two cups, placing them on the ground. He pulls a flask of water and fills the pot before tipping in some leaves and flowers from a small pouch on his belt. He holds the pot and with a flash in his eye it slowly begins to steam. Several more minutes go by before he nods, satisfied and pours the now dark liquid into the cups and offers one to Gerhard. He sips his own, as if waiting for something to say.

Gerhard sips in silence, the cup held loosely in both hands above his legs. A thumb rubs the edge of the cup, the smooth clay smooth under his touch.

He looks back to Ilthuryn. His voice is low, carried on the breeze. "I do care about her. Greatly. I promise I will see that she makes it home."

Ilthuryn just nods. After a while he puts the cup down and signs slowly, deliberately. Gerhard cannot understand it all, but he can tell it is an apology, a heartfelt one, and one with a unique identity. She'll know who it's from, she'll know what it means. Ilthuryn is sorry he could not do more to help. There is a final component, a wish, a hope that she is happy wherever she goes.

Ilthuryn finishes signing, picking up the pen and writing.

"When you do, please repeat that to her. Good luck Gerhard, I believe you'll help her home, even if she is the one that walks the path back I know you will share her company as she does. Just keep her safe for me please, I don't want to lose my only friend."

"I will." Gerhard sets the tea down, placing a hand on each knee as he rises to his feet. "Thank you for the tea. I'll... she'll be back soon. I'm sure of it."

Ilthuryn nods and quietly begins to tidy the cups away before holding the pot of tea out to Gerhard, a gift, perhaps not for him though.

He accepts it, tucking it with a hand underneath at his waist. He nods at Ilthuryn, a final goodbye, before turning and beginning the walk back to Daring Heights.