Leap of Faith - Varga - 16/06/2022
Jul 3, 2022 15:02:03 GMT
Soph, Velania Kalugina, and 1 more like this
Post by Varga on Jul 3, 2022 15:02:03 GMT
The Adventure in a Plane Far Far Away,
In which the adventurers are offered proper home cooking by the grung, tea by an eldritch being from space, and the best pep talk in history by a faye.
Wren led us to a grung village to warn them about the invasion. It’s near Fort Ettin, but I’ve never been there. We were walking through a swamp, so Cleaver had to ride on Poppy or he’d be completely wet.
The grung stopped our party at the edge of the village. Probably thought we wouldn’t all fit in there. Taz was the only person who was on his own. Otherwise we were outnumbered by pets 2:1. And they eat animals. The grung are very cool-looking frog people: red, yellow, blue. All very impractical in a swamp, so easy for the enemy to see and know where to attack. I respected them already. The guards asked us if we were there to recruit their help fighting off the invasion. Taz shrugged: "No, we're just here to tell you, really," and turned to leave. Very smart reverse psychology. Wren got us in and went to say hi to their music teacher. Great manners. I got really homesick. Wish I could talk to my etiquette teacher now...
The village didn’t help. Looked like a war camp. Just like back home! To make things worse, they gave us the Bog Slop. Looks like mud, tastes like mud, way deadlier than mud. Just like my auntie Marge makes it! You go to dinner like you go to war – not knowing if you’re gonna come back. Myself, Poppy and Laurel passed out. That’s how you know the real home cooking! I interrogated the cook for a recipe. Need to give it to Granny Gunk. Her stew is good, but lacks that special zest.
The grung were engaged in some sort of ritual. Their priests were summoning the Space Hopper, a great warrior of their people, who jumped high enough to reach the stars. I would question how sport achievement translated into slayed enemies, but then I had stopped Ivan with my thighs, so who knows. Maybe Space Hopper crushes enemy skulls?
It turned out she didn’t. She had a very nice sword though. The summoning worked (very nice chanting, by the way, much more impressive than that kid Eric, maybe he should study from the grung, like Wren did). The Space Hopper was a big blue grung who agreed to help us if we passed some trials. Invited us to another plane through a portal. Any reasonable person would stop and think if it was a trap. So naturally, we went right through. I called both Manny and Cleaver with me, but Cleaver was too slow – pity for him, he missed out on a good fight.
When we went through the portal, Space Hopper (her names was D’Lhoon, Space Hopper is a title, kinda like Warlady) admitted she was actually just an okay warrior, and her reputation was just made out of a deal with a hag. She could fight and open portals, but that’s about it. And she actually needed our help with a huge eldritch abomination with too many mouths, eyes and tentacles to be appropriate. It was in a clearing nearby. It made that clearing, too, by eating a grung village whom D’Lhoon failed to save. We were all upset that we’re not getting another cool fighter to defeat the gith, but then who’d pass on a good fight?
Laurel would. They proposed to negotiate. Myself and Taz volunteered as their bodyguards. I was still a bit jealous that the armor I looted in hell fit him better than me, but we were pretty impressive as Laurel’s escort. Elias and Wren stayed behind. Elias was on their horse and could fly up, and Wren fought at distance, so they weren’t missing out. Poppy and Manny were playing on the hill like idiots. I swear, this dog will be the death of me. No sense of propriety whatsoever. And that’s despite speaking Common!
We came up to the mountain of flesh and tentacles. Laureal asked it to leave. It instead asked us to come closer. It called itself Star Spawn Emissary, and had a hard time agreeing with itself. It was talking to us telepathically, debating whether to eat us or give us tea. We were an assorted bunch, so I kinda see where it was coming from. The tea was winning though, and it panicked. Next thing I remember was being blasted by a force wave away from it.
Elias flew over it and dropped a bunch of knives on the emissary, poking some eyes out. Somehow, by looking at the mass of moving tentacles, eyes, and mouths, all counting in hundreds, Wren found a single kneecap and shot it. The eldritch horror growled in pain and threw up over Taz. Who knew eldritch horrors get such a severe stage fright? As Taz was wailing at the mountain of flesh before us, three smaller mounds formed around and started saying some gibberish. And the day started so well! But then Manny was acting like an idiot instead of getting into the fight, these stupid mouths were saying something… How is one supposed to keep her composure when nobody is behaving like there’s a fight?! I got really annoyed and killed two of these smaller mouths outright. Laurel was healing everyone just as Taz cut the abomination in two with his sword. I’m still not clear how can one cut something in two with a sword that is less than a tenth of its diameter, it just makes no geometrical sense. That’s like if Cleaver's toy siege set from Castle Victory brought down Fort Ettin. But that’s a real warrior for you – he abides his own laws, not the laws of physics! I felt less jealous of him after that. Just cause he looks better in what’s technically my armor doesn’t make him worse. And he does look good in it!
After the fight, to which D’Lhoon contributed despite being remarkably average, the Space Hopper was happy to help us. Wren told her about securing the Fort.
"Is it well fortified?" D'Lhoon asked hopefully.
Everyone shrugged in exactly the same way.
"It has a moat," I said.
Elias got suspicious of such cowardice, and took a good look at D'Lhoon.
“Yep, there’s some fey fuckery going on here,” they told us confidently.
Didn’t know they were a doctor, but the diagnosis was correct.
“I’ll handle it,” they said even more confidently and turned to D’Lhoon.
I’ve heard motivational people before. Like Felix, who can always inspire people with his music, or Iorveth with his stories. But Elias went ahead and just gave D’Lhoon the best motivational speech I’ve ever heard. I tried taking notes, but there was just too much of it. It was about believing in yourself, and reaching for the stars, and lots of other really cool stuff. It was so good even we felt motivated. And it also lifted a curse. Apparently D’Lhoon really was the greatest grung warrior. She just ran into a witch who took away her self-confidence and made her think she only had a sword, so she wasn't fighting to her full potential. D’Lhoon was very grateful and happy to help with defending the Dawnlands.
Still, I keep thinking how strong a witch should be to enchant someone so powerful? Hope I get to see their rematch!
In which the adventurers are offered proper home cooking by the grung, tea by an eldritch being from space, and the best pep talk in history by a faye.
Wren led us to a grung village to warn them about the invasion. It’s near Fort Ettin, but I’ve never been there. We were walking through a swamp, so Cleaver had to ride on Poppy or he’d be completely wet.
The grung stopped our party at the edge of the village. Probably thought we wouldn’t all fit in there. Taz was the only person who was on his own. Otherwise we were outnumbered by pets 2:1. And they eat animals. The grung are very cool-looking frog people: red, yellow, blue. All very impractical in a swamp, so easy for the enemy to see and know where to attack. I respected them already. The guards asked us if we were there to recruit their help fighting off the invasion. Taz shrugged: "No, we're just here to tell you, really," and turned to leave. Very smart reverse psychology. Wren got us in and went to say hi to their music teacher. Great manners. I got really homesick. Wish I could talk to my etiquette teacher now...
The village didn’t help. Looked like a war camp. Just like back home! To make things worse, they gave us the Bog Slop. Looks like mud, tastes like mud, way deadlier than mud. Just like my auntie Marge makes it! You go to dinner like you go to war – not knowing if you’re gonna come back. Myself, Poppy and Laurel passed out. That’s how you know the real home cooking! I interrogated the cook for a recipe. Need to give it to Granny Gunk. Her stew is good, but lacks that special zest.
The grung were engaged in some sort of ritual. Their priests were summoning the Space Hopper, a great warrior of their people, who jumped high enough to reach the stars. I would question how sport achievement translated into slayed enemies, but then I had stopped Ivan with my thighs, so who knows. Maybe Space Hopper crushes enemy skulls?
It turned out she didn’t. She had a very nice sword though. The summoning worked (very nice chanting, by the way, much more impressive than that kid Eric, maybe he should study from the grung, like Wren did). The Space Hopper was a big blue grung who agreed to help us if we passed some trials. Invited us to another plane through a portal. Any reasonable person would stop and think if it was a trap. So naturally, we went right through. I called both Manny and Cleaver with me, but Cleaver was too slow – pity for him, he missed out on a good fight.
When we went through the portal, Space Hopper (her names was D’Lhoon, Space Hopper is a title, kinda like Warlady) admitted she was actually just an okay warrior, and her reputation was just made out of a deal with a hag. She could fight and open portals, but that’s about it. And she actually needed our help with a huge eldritch abomination with too many mouths, eyes and tentacles to be appropriate. It was in a clearing nearby. It made that clearing, too, by eating a grung village whom D’Lhoon failed to save. We were all upset that we’re not getting another cool fighter to defeat the gith, but then who’d pass on a good fight?
Laurel would. They proposed to negotiate. Myself and Taz volunteered as their bodyguards. I was still a bit jealous that the armor I looted in hell fit him better than me, but we were pretty impressive as Laurel’s escort. Elias and Wren stayed behind. Elias was on their horse and could fly up, and Wren fought at distance, so they weren’t missing out. Poppy and Manny were playing on the hill like idiots. I swear, this dog will be the death of me. No sense of propriety whatsoever. And that’s despite speaking Common!
We came up to the mountain of flesh and tentacles. Laureal asked it to leave. It instead asked us to come closer. It called itself Star Spawn Emissary, and had a hard time agreeing with itself. It was talking to us telepathically, debating whether to eat us or give us tea. We were an assorted bunch, so I kinda see where it was coming from. The tea was winning though, and it panicked. Next thing I remember was being blasted by a force wave away from it.
Elias flew over it and dropped a bunch of knives on the emissary, poking some eyes out. Somehow, by looking at the mass of moving tentacles, eyes, and mouths, all counting in hundreds, Wren found a single kneecap and shot it. The eldritch horror growled in pain and threw up over Taz. Who knew eldritch horrors get such a severe stage fright? As Taz was wailing at the mountain of flesh before us, three smaller mounds formed around and started saying some gibberish. And the day started so well! But then Manny was acting like an idiot instead of getting into the fight, these stupid mouths were saying something… How is one supposed to keep her composure when nobody is behaving like there’s a fight?! I got really annoyed and killed two of these smaller mouths outright. Laurel was healing everyone just as Taz cut the abomination in two with his sword. I’m still not clear how can one cut something in two with a sword that is less than a tenth of its diameter, it just makes no geometrical sense. That’s like if Cleaver's toy siege set from Castle Victory brought down Fort Ettin. But that’s a real warrior for you – he abides his own laws, not the laws of physics! I felt less jealous of him after that. Just cause he looks better in what’s technically my armor doesn’t make him worse. And he does look good in it!
After the fight, to which D’Lhoon contributed despite being remarkably average, the Space Hopper was happy to help us. Wren told her about securing the Fort.
"Is it well fortified?" D'Lhoon asked hopefully.
Everyone shrugged in exactly the same way.
"It has a moat," I said.
Elias got suspicious of such cowardice, and took a good look at D'Lhoon.
“Yep, there’s some fey fuckery going on here,” they told us confidently.
Didn’t know they were a doctor, but the diagnosis was correct.
“I’ll handle it,” they said even more confidently and turned to D’Lhoon.
I’ve heard motivational people before. Like Felix, who can always inspire people with his music, or Iorveth with his stories. But Elias went ahead and just gave D’Lhoon the best motivational speech I’ve ever heard. I tried taking notes, but there was just too much of it. It was about believing in yourself, and reaching for the stars, and lots of other really cool stuff. It was so good even we felt motivated. And it also lifted a curse. Apparently D’Lhoon really was the greatest grung warrior. She just ran into a witch who took away her self-confidence and made her think she only had a sword, so she wasn't fighting to her full potential. D’Lhoon was very grateful and happy to help with defending the Dawnlands.
Still, I keep thinking how strong a witch should be to enchant someone so powerful? Hope I get to see their rematch!