A Matter of Price - 22/06/2022 - Mendal Recounts
Jun 27, 2022 22:54:13 GMT
Ian, Velania Kalugina, and 3 more like this
Post by Andy D on Jun 27, 2022 22:54:13 GMT
A Pub in the Dwarven Quarter of Daring Heights
Mendal and Kavel are enjoying a drink while Mendal catches Kavel up on his latest adventure to the far north of the Dawnlands, in Arva.
MENDAL
So I recognised three of the adventurers there in the Town Hall meeting room from your description of them. There was Gerhard, the bearded human with parchment falling out of his arse. There was Sterling, the tetchy halfling with a fascinating metal dog, and Orianna the tiefling girl - who by the way was sat next to the Gerhard fellow and by the end of our adventure, I could swear those two were, you know?
KAVEL
What?
MENDAL
Wink, wink! Nudge, nudge! Must I say more?
KAVEL
Oh. They are fucking. Okay. Hmm. I’m not sure what this means for Henri. Or what his relationship is to Gerhard?
MENDAL
Huh?
KAVEL
It’s not important right now… who else was there?
MENDAL
Right-o. So, there was also a very tall lady, Anabæl, goliath woman, not grey like you. Blond hair. Know her?
KAVEL
No. Haven’t met her. Is she strong?
MENDAL
Yes, I’d say so. She has your kind of build.
KAVEL
Nice. She should come and train at Kavel’s Corner. The bros haven’t mentioned her. I’m surprised we haven’t met already. I find like tends to attract like.
So I recognised three of the adventurers there in the Town Hall meeting room from your description of them. There was Gerhard, the bearded human with parchment falling out of his arse. There was Sterling, the tetchy halfling with a fascinating metal dog, and Orianna the tiefling girl - who by the way was sat next to the Gerhard fellow and by the end of our adventure, I could swear those two were, you know?
KAVEL
What?
MENDAL
Wink, wink! Nudge, nudge! Must I say more?
Mendal exaggerates a couple of winks towards Kavel, whilst also elbowing the air.
KAVEL
Oh. They are fucking. Okay. Hmm. I’m not sure what this means for Henri. Or what his relationship is to Gerhard?
MENDAL
Huh?
KAVEL
It’s not important right now… who else was there?
MENDAL
Right-o. So, there was also a very tall lady, Anabæl, goliath woman, not grey like you. Blond hair. Know her?
KAVEL
No. Haven’t met her. Is she strong?
MENDAL
Yes, I’d say so. She has your kind of build.
KAVEL
Nice. She should come and train at Kavel’s Corner. The bros haven’t mentioned her. I’m surprised we haven’t met already. I find like tends to attract like.
Mendal shows his agreement by extending both arms out to the side and up to point at the surroundings.
MENDAL
Yeees! We’re in the Dwarven Quarter are we not? Ha, ha! Anyway, I also met a council person called Lady Saria Underwood, who gave Gerhard and Anabæl the go-ahead for their plan, which was to recruit these recently encountered centaur tribe. However, the council didn’t want any of this official, because the centaurs and the Kundarians don’t like each other, and an official alliance with the centaurs would piss off the Kundarians and sour relationships between Kundar and the Dawnlands.
Yeees! We’re in the Dwarven Quarter are we not? Ha, ha! Anyway, I also met a council person called Lady Saria Underwood, who gave Gerhard and Anabæl the go-ahead for their plan, which was to recruit these recently encountered centaur tribe. However, the council didn’t want any of this official, because the centaurs and the Kundarians don’t like each other, and an official alliance with the centaurs would piss off the Kundarians and sour relationships between Kundar and the Dawnlands.
Fade to black.
A Pub in the Dwarven Quarter of Daring Heights - Skip Forward
We rejoin Mendal and Kavel five minutes later in conversation.
MENDAL
So, we teleport to Arva, and it’s on bloody fire!
KAVEL
Oh no. What did you do?
MENDAL
Nothing we could do lad. It was a massive grass fire. Natural happening. Well, that’s what the locals told us. Gerhard was able to use the Sending spell to contact one of the heads of the Korvak tribe, and tell them we were coming. They told us it was a bad time, and we could see why. They were packed up and moving away from the savannah’s overgrown, dry grass and heading inland to be nearer, and claim a good water spot.
KAVEL
Oh. It already sounds like they don’t have time for our concerns.
MENDAL
Exactly. There must have been over a thousand centaurs, and there were these bloody, great elephants, Kavel! Humungous fuckers! Giant bloody elephants. As a dwarf I’ve never felt so short. We brought with us a wagon full of metal weapons like spears and such. The locals prize metal, because they can’t mine it, it’s precious out there - this was our negotiating chip. The centaurs had what looked like quite exquisite bone weapons. Finely crafted, but what metal armour and weapons they had were clearly banged together from pieces of scrap. You know, the odd flying pan or pot that had been hammered out crudely into some kind of breastplate.
KAVEL
Oh, you would be worshipped there as a Clan Crafter with, what did you call it? ‘Moradin’s Artisan Blessing’?
MENDAL
That’s right! But, there wasn’t time for me to craft. Did manage to chat to one of the two nicer leaders of the tribe who was something of a craftsman himself. Good lad.
Oh! And to make things worse, as we were travelling I couldn’t bloody see anything because the dry, brown grass was about four foot tall! I soon had enough of that and climbed into our wagon. Sterling joined me not long after. Fucking grass! I’ve never felt so short. DON’T you bloody smile!
So, we teleport to Arva, and it’s on bloody fire!
KAVEL
Oh no. What did you do?
MENDAL
Nothing we could do lad. It was a massive grass fire. Natural happening. Well, that’s what the locals told us. Gerhard was able to use the Sending spell to contact one of the heads of the Korvak tribe, and tell them we were coming. They told us it was a bad time, and we could see why. They were packed up and moving away from the savannah’s overgrown, dry grass and heading inland to be nearer, and claim a good water spot.
KAVEL
Oh. It already sounds like they don’t have time for our concerns.
MENDAL
Exactly. There must have been over a thousand centaurs, and there were these bloody, great elephants, Kavel! Humungous fuckers! Giant bloody elephants. As a dwarf I’ve never felt so short. We brought with us a wagon full of metal weapons like spears and such. The locals prize metal, because they can’t mine it, it’s precious out there - this was our negotiating chip. The centaurs had what looked like quite exquisite bone weapons. Finely crafted, but what metal armour and weapons they had were clearly banged together from pieces of scrap. You know, the odd flying pan or pot that had been hammered out crudely into some kind of breastplate.
KAVEL
Oh, you would be worshipped there as a Clan Crafter with, what did you call it? ‘Moradin’s Artisan Blessing’?
MENDAL
That’s right! But, there wasn’t time for me to craft. Did manage to chat to one of the two nicer leaders of the tribe who was something of a craftsman himself. Good lad.
Oh! And to make things worse, as we were travelling I couldn’t bloody see anything because the dry, brown grass was about four foot tall! I soon had enough of that and climbed into our wagon. Sterling joined me not long after. Fucking grass! I’ve never felt so short. DON’T you bloody smile!
Kavel is smiling.
Fade to black.
A Pub in the Dwarven Quarter of Daring Heights - Skip Forward Again 1
We rejoin Mendal and Kavel five minutes later in conversation.
MENDAL
Anyway, they would accept our gift, but if we wanted some of their soldiers in a time when they needed them, we would have to help secure a source of water for their people before an enemy tribe, the Renkor, got there first. We were told one of them bloody great bull elephants was making a shortcut inaccessible, and if we could remove it, which would allow the Korvak tribe to beat the Renkor to water; claim the spot, then they would send soldiers to our aid here.
KAVEL
Oh. Sounds like a fight against a big, strong creature is coming
MENDAL
Ummm. Indeed. So, we were accompanied by an elf, Andariel and a few squads of Centaurs; dedicated archers, skirmishers, lancers. You know. Anyway, We got to the spot, and saw a mountain of a bull elephant lying on the path. It was fucking massive, Kavel! When it stood up it was about sixty feet tall!
KAVEL
Big!
MENDAL
Enormous! If you stood under its arse and it shat itself you’d be buried alive!
If you were lucky, you’d have died from the impact of actual bullshit dropping on you from a great height, and be spared a most unenviable demise of drowning in shit!
Anyway, they would accept our gift, but if we wanted some of their soldiers in a time when they needed them, we would have to help secure a source of water for their people before an enemy tribe, the Renkor, got there first. We were told one of them bloody great bull elephants was making a shortcut inaccessible, and if we could remove it, which would allow the Korvak tribe to beat the Renkor to water; claim the spot, then they would send soldiers to our aid here.
KAVEL
Oh. Sounds like a fight against a big, strong creature is coming
MENDAL
Ummm. Indeed. So, we were accompanied by an elf, Andariel and a few squads of Centaurs; dedicated archers, skirmishers, lancers. You know. Anyway, We got to the spot, and saw a mountain of a bull elephant lying on the path. It was fucking massive, Kavel! When it stood up it was about sixty feet tall!
KAVEL
Big!
MENDAL
Enormous! If you stood under its arse and it shat itself you’d be buried alive!
If you were lucky, you’d have died from the impact of actual bullshit dropping on you from a great height, and be spared a most unenviable demise of drowning in shit!
Fade to black.
A Pub in the Dwarven Quarter of Daring Heights - Skip Forward Again 2
We rejoin Mendal and Kavel five minutes later in conversation.
MENDAL
We all tried to keep our distance. Lots of people were firing arrows off at the humongous bull elephant, but it was fearsome. I don’t blame any of the warriors there for keeping their distance. I did too. Unfortunately, arrows weren’t always penetrating the creatures' hide. And it was only a matter of time before the fucker charged and wrecked us like a hurricane.
KAVEL
Everyone okay?
MENDAL
It was touch and go for a second my lad. But yes, bruised bodies. But all good. Sterling’s metal dog fires these magic blasts like a cannonball.
KAVEL
Oh yes I’ve seen it do this.
MENDAL
This dog-sized weapon was able to push back a sixty foot plus beast a few feet with sheer force. I don’t know what Sterling’s done to make it so powerful, he won’t tell me.
KAVEL
Ha. I would think if anyone, he would have taken a liking to you as a craftsman, something adjacent to him an artificer.
MENDAL
Hates magic it seems. Anyway, Anabæl was loosing arrows, Gerhard too. Orianna was having success with the Guiding Bolt spell - more than me. And then, your boy Gerhard. Know what he did?
KAVEL
No. Go on.
MENDAL
He tried to climb the thing…
We all tried to keep our distance. Lots of people were firing arrows off at the humongous bull elephant, but it was fearsome. I don’t blame any of the warriors there for keeping their distance. I did too. Unfortunately, arrows weren’t always penetrating the creatures' hide. And it was only a matter of time before the fucker charged and wrecked us like a hurricane.
KAVEL
Everyone okay?
MENDAL
It was touch and go for a second my lad. But yes, bruised bodies. But all good. Sterling’s metal dog fires these magic blasts like a cannonball.
KAVEL
Oh yes I’ve seen it do this.
MENDAL
This dog-sized weapon was able to push back a sixty foot plus beast a few feet with sheer force. I don’t know what Sterling’s done to make it so powerful, he won’t tell me.
KAVEL
Ha. I would think if anyone, he would have taken a liking to you as a craftsman, something adjacent to him an artificer.
MENDAL
Hates magic it seems. Anyway, Anabæl was loosing arrows, Gerhard too. Orianna was having success with the Guiding Bolt spell - more than me. And then, your boy Gerhard. Know what he did?
KAVEL
No. Go on.
MENDAL
He tried to climb the thing…
Both Mendal and Kavel sit back, hands spread wide on the table.
KAVEL
But… I’ve seen him climb a building, and he’s shit at climbing…
MENDAL
He seemed pretty impressive actually. He used the Misty Step spell to teleport halfway up - heating a little, but clever. The rest of the distance to the creatures back, he zipped up as fast as someone could walk the same distance.
KAVEL
Oh. Good for him!
MENDAL
But, then the bull elephant charged, he lost his footing a slid off down the side.
KAVEL
Oh. Yeah, he should come and train with me at Kavel’s Corner.
MENDAL
Ummmm. Indeed. As the fucker charged, Sterling, the metal dog and Orianna got smacked about by the legs of the humungous beast. Not a pretty sight. Doggo down. Sterling looked shabby and Orianna, oooooof. I threw out some healing magic with the Healing Word spell just to help her get the fuck back off the ground.
KAVEL
Oh no. I’ve fought with her once before. You said they were all alright?
MENDAL
Yes. And they were, it’s fine. Guess who was motivated now? Gerhard loosed a couple of magically empowered arrows at the bull elephant. Nice shots! Then the big fucker bashed Sterling again and introduced Ana to its feet too. Sterling, he-who-hates-magic did a beautifully aimed Ray of Front spell at the big’un. Seemed to hurt it bad. Ana decided that now she was in melee range, might as well drop the longbow, so she delivered some slices to the creatures foot, making it more painful for it to move. And then the centaurs arrows really started to cover the elephant like it was receiving acupuncture for two!
KAVEL
Okay. Nice!
MENDAL
And the coup de grace went to Orianna. She hit the bull elephant with a mighty Guiding Bolt and down it went, crashing into the ground, causing a minor earthquake.
KAVEL
Well done, comrade!
MENDAL
Thank you! But you know what? The centaurs inspected the bull elephant and said it was only a young one.
KAVEL
Oh! The adult ones must really be strong.
But… I’ve seen him climb a building, and he’s shit at climbing…
MENDAL
He seemed pretty impressive actually. He used the Misty Step spell to teleport halfway up - heating a little, but clever. The rest of the distance to the creatures back, he zipped up as fast as someone could walk the same distance.
KAVEL
Oh. Good for him!
MENDAL
But, then the bull elephant charged, he lost his footing a slid off down the side.
KAVEL
Oh. Yeah, he should come and train with me at Kavel’s Corner.
MENDAL
Ummmm. Indeed. As the fucker charged, Sterling, the metal dog and Orianna got smacked about by the legs of the humungous beast. Not a pretty sight. Doggo down. Sterling looked shabby and Orianna, oooooof. I threw out some healing magic with the Healing Word spell just to help her get the fuck back off the ground.
KAVEL
Oh no. I’ve fought with her once before. You said they were all alright?
MENDAL
Yes. And they were, it’s fine. Guess who was motivated now? Gerhard loosed a couple of magically empowered arrows at the bull elephant. Nice shots! Then the big fucker bashed Sterling again and introduced Ana to its feet too. Sterling, he-who-hates-magic did a beautifully aimed Ray of Front spell at the big’un. Seemed to hurt it bad. Ana decided that now she was in melee range, might as well drop the longbow, so she delivered some slices to the creatures foot, making it more painful for it to move. And then the centaurs arrows really started to cover the elephant like it was receiving acupuncture for two!
KAVEL
Okay. Nice!
MENDAL
And the coup de grace went to Orianna. She hit the bull elephant with a mighty Guiding Bolt and down it went, crashing into the ground, causing a minor earthquake.
KAVEL
Well done, comrade!
MENDAL
Thank you! But you know what? The centaurs inspected the bull elephant and said it was only a young one.
KAVEL
Oh! The adult ones must really be strong.
Fade to black.
A Pub in the Dwarven Quarter of Daring Heights - Skip Forward Again 3
We rejoin Mendal and Kavel five minutes later in conversation. They have finished their meals and have new drinks.
MENDAL
So, the leaders honoured their side of the bargain, but also with the agreement that they get first plunder - obviously providing we win. And that was that.
KAVEL
Well done indeed, Mendel. I am glad you are helping out, comrade.
MENDAL
I’m liking the Dwarven Quarter here and the people. I don’t want to see it go. Plus, for more selfish reasons, it’ll be harder to mine for magical metals if the gith control the region.
Hey! Have you heard from Archie?
KAVEL
The human wizard, Archie?
MENDAL
You don’t know anyone else called Archie.
KAVEL
Yes. That is correct. Is he here? Has he figured out how to regress human ageing?
MENDAL
No he’s not here. I used the Sending spell to warn him about the gith invasion. I said, ‘Archie! Don’t bloody come here yet. Don’t come here until gith invasion over. I will Send again… or not. If not, don’t come.’
KAVEL
I see. Well. If everything works out, it will be nice to see him again.
MENDAL
He’s made bugger all progress on his work by the way, but yes I’d love to see the fellow. Anyway, how’s my old mucker, Kavel been? Any more further uses of the Sky-High Elbow Drop? Bet you would have loved the spike the bull elephant with that?
KAVEL
Ha, ha! Yes, that would have been good.
MENDAL
So, where have you been recently? Anywhere horrible? Maybe somewhere nice?
KAVEL
Nice actually. I went to the Feywild, to the Summer Court. It was an amazingly great time, comrade Mendal. Yeah, amazingly great.
MENDAL
Oh! Do tell!
So, the leaders honoured their side of the bargain, but also with the agreement that they get first plunder - obviously providing we win. And that was that.
KAVEL
Well done indeed, Mendel. I am glad you are helping out, comrade.
MENDAL
I’m liking the Dwarven Quarter here and the people. I don’t want to see it go. Plus, for more selfish reasons, it’ll be harder to mine for magical metals if the gith control the region.
Hey! Have you heard from Archie?
KAVEL
The human wizard, Archie?
MENDAL
You don’t know anyone else called Archie.
KAVEL
Yes. That is correct. Is he here? Has he figured out how to regress human ageing?
MENDAL
No he’s not here. I used the Sending spell to warn him about the gith invasion. I said, ‘Archie! Don’t bloody come here yet. Don’t come here until gith invasion over. I will Send again… or not. If not, don’t come.’
KAVEL
I see. Well. If everything works out, it will be nice to see him again.
MENDAL
He’s made bugger all progress on his work by the way, but yes I’d love to see the fellow. Anyway, how’s my old mucker, Kavel been? Any more further uses of the Sky-High Elbow Drop? Bet you would have loved the spike the bull elephant with that?
KAVEL
Ha, ha! Yes, that would have been good.
MENDAL
So, where have you been recently? Anywhere horrible? Maybe somewhere nice?
KAVEL
Nice actually. I went to the Feywild, to the Summer Court. It was an amazingly great time, comrade Mendal. Yeah, amazingly great.
MENDAL
Oh! Do tell!
End scene.
