Rage to the Challenge - Varga - 24/03/22

The Adventure of Self-Discovery,
In which rage problems are solved by re-killing pirates, sentient rodents have meaningful conversations, and Thicc Bois are established.

Met Ivan and Kavel in Daring Heights. They were going camping to the mountains. Invited me to join. I fetched Cleaver, he felt a bit homesick lately. Toothy and Kelne joined us, too. Ivan was very animated on the way there. He kept talking about how we're all Thicc Bois. I mean, Cleaver's thick, yeah, but Kelne? Well, they do have their murder angels, and if you squint they do look a bit like Cleaver. Anyway, Ivan had all this planned out. He and Toothy even developed some secret handshake. Looks a bit like a demon summoning ritual, but fun. Apparently we were all Thicc Bois now. Well, you know what they say in the mountains: orcs are thicker than a rock, and hit just as hard. So that sounded good for me. And any time I walk into any carousing establishment, I do hear people saying 'Oh, boy', so the second part checks out, too.

We went to a cave in the middle of nowhere. For once I didn't have to read the lay of the land cause Ivan has been there before. There was a huge bath, with bamboo around. In the bath there were oranges. Like a lots of oranges. And yeah, a gargantuan capybara. Name's Bendai. Chill dude. Has interesting eyes. Like night sky, with constellations, but no pupils.

Ivan was super happy to see him. He ran up and hugged… like maybe one muscle on Bendai. Anyway, Ivan was upset about our boat trip. I kind of zoned out at the end, was looking at those super cool human catapults, and doing sketches for future raids. Meanwhile Ivan apparently threw some eggs overboard. So Bendai agreed to help him chill. He gave him a very pretty circlet, like a princessy thing, and that stopped his rage.

Bendai sent us out of the cave. I left Cleaver with him. Finally somebody intelligent to talk to. Bendai suggested they read together. That eased Cleaver's mind a bit, I think. He was very nervous about being in such a damp place for too long. But if books can take it, so can he.

Outside was a huge stadium with statues, and a cheering crowd. I killed the guy in a high chair just in case. But it was too late. He was already dead and a skeleton. Oh, well, can't get them all.

Ivan went ahead and was looking at the side doors and the statues. I thought it was high time for me to remind others about etiquette.

'Okay, everyone, listen up,' I turned to them and spoke quietly, so that Ivan wouldn't hear us. 'This is Ivan's raid, so we have to listen to him.'

'Are you sure we need to follow him… all the time?' Kavel asked, watching Ivan trying and failing to shove a statue and the side gates.

'All the time. That's why it's called 'manners'. It's not always convenient, but always the right thing to do. You don't question the head of the raid party on the raid,' I nodded and gestured others to follow.

We picked on statues for a while, until Kelne decided to ask their god what to do. God said to go through one of the side doors. Who am I to argue with gods?

We went through a side door. It was a similar arena, but now it was empty. No statues. Then a bunch of rocks fell on us. Well, fine by me. I dodged mine, so did Kelne. I went to help Ivan who was pinned under a big boulder. Hard to throw rocks around without the ability to concentrate. Freed himself, Ivan tried to help Toothy. Instead of raging, he grew two sizes, and managed to flip the rock. A neat trick.

Kavel shouted from his place why nobody was helping him.

"That's your whole thing, isn't it?" I asked, remembering the tales people in Harnash told of his strength. "Lifting heavy things?"

I anticipated it all to be a practical joke, but in fact it was just a bit of an ego.

"Yes, but I wanted some audience," he admitted, a bit embarrassed.

Well, we did watch him lift that rock. It was a pretty impressive lift. Still, maybe it wasn't just Ivan who needed to chill.

We then went to the next arena. It was very dark there, and there were flaming sigils on the sand. They looked really similar to the ones Rahmiel gave me. It felt… disconcerting. Inside the sigils was a huge pit-fiend. Toothy tried communicating with him in drawing, but the fiend didn't seem keen on communicating. Or just couldn't understand art. Kelne looked at the fiend and saw there's a child inside. Kelne and Toothy led the pit fiend outside of the runes. There he turned into a child, who then turned back into a pit fiend. A lot of calories wasted if you ask me.

The fiend's name was Hugo. He was apparently stuck in the sigils after making a deal with a cambion. Others just nodded at that and continued forward, content in their ability to solve issues without raging, which was Bendai's whole point. I lingered a bit.

So that's what you get when you make deals with fiends… Or what you might get. That's the problem, right? You never know. Might be a nice raid, might be a lifetime of servitude. Can you tell upfront which one's which? No. Can I afford being held up in some circus in the middle of nowhere? Not really, what if Bahgtru requires me to go into a fight? Maybe I was a bit too quick to agree to Rahmiel's request. Manners are good, but fiends are complicated… Definitely it wasn't just Ivan who needed to chill!

The opportunity presented itself at the last test, which was to re-kill some pirates we've killed not a month ago. They rose from the dead because they had some ethical considerations with Ivan. I didn't quite get what was the nature of their dilemma, but then, I don't really know maritime etiquette. My war cry was really effective though. It was... nice to see how inspired everyone was. I really felt like a warlady material. Thicc Bois was a good idea. Always nice to have a good raiding party around.

We returned to Bendai, and were given some money-containing oranges (I need to raid the orchards they were grown in!) and Ivan got his axe, Barbara, improved. Bendai is a good chap – he understands that rage isn't about mindless running into a fight. Not many do. Definitely took me quite a while to understand. That's proper manners.

We returned to Daring Heights. It seems the deal on Thicc Bois has been sealed. I've bought leather and started making the jackets. Toothy will paint them later… Damn, we're like a proper warband! This one I feel good about joining. But talking to Rahmiel won't be as pleasant, I imagine. Nobody likes to be led on. I need to be a bit less rash. Sometimes. Not too often, but sometimes.