Uptown Slunk - 31/03/2022 - A Kavel Perspective

The Thicc Bois Returned to Daring Heights

We were back from the Sunset Spines. Comrade Ivan had a magically enhanced axe. The rest of us had impressive bulges in our money purses - Ivan’s friend, Capybara grows the best oranges.

The adventuring board caught our eye. We were looking for the next adventure that could really benefit from Thicc Boi numbers. Which adventure needed thicc energy the most? All of them, of course. But, we were split between two notices. Varga and Kelne wanted to help a granny back in the Sunset Spines. I wanted to get back to Fort Ettin and continue with my carpentry lessons. Ivan and Toothy were up for helping Coll with a request back at the Fort. So, I decided to join them on Coll's mission, and since we had time, the three of us got in a session at Kavel's Corner. Kavel’s Corner is slowly getting more popular with the adventuring community!


Mobility Drills for Thicc Shoulders

On the morning that Coll wished for us to depart for Trecorvum, I led my fellow Thicc Bois in some mobility drills. Nothing heavy, this was our mission warm-up.

This early, the sun wasn’t shining so bright which, for a drow, worked well for Toothy. This was Toothy’s first time training with me. As a thicc boi - naturally Toothy was awesome. Toothy was very good at the thrust drills with the clubs. Ivan was the best I’ve ever seen at the swing drills.

The day before, we did some heavy squats, and my Iron Strong bros joined us. I was not expecting Toothy to lift as much as he could. Toothy is an exceptional Drow. My bros were very impressed with Toothy. More impressed than they were with Ivan, when he first started coming here. From that point on, Ivan insisted on finishing his last set of squats with his axe’s Enlarge spell active, so he could squat heavier. I didn’t know if the gains would transfer back down at his regular height, but it was worth a shot. Also, he should get used to lifting heavier weights at an enlarged height, since he’s going to be using that spell regularly now. Twelve foot Ivan was an extra thicc boi!

Enlarged, Ivan can lift the same exceptional weight as Toothy and my bros. This did make me wonder; since I can lift double what they can lift - how much could I lift if I had the Enlarge spell casted on me?


Meeting Point - Great Hall

We were joined by my good comrades, Silvia and Glint. I had not seen Silvia since meeting her dragon patron and Dellilah’s father - the same person. Glint, funnily enough the last time I saw him was in Trecorvum.

Lastly, we were joined by Sergeant Grimes, who was new to me. Grimes, I was aware of, as a colleague of my good friend Derthaad at the City Watch. Grimes was a tough, hardened-looking human like comrade Ivan - although unlike comrade Ivan, I did not suspect Sergeant Grimes would remove his shirt at unexpected times.

We met up with Coll.

Coll has a strange band around his head now. He seems to be permanently in communication with the city of Gadenthor like someone is casting the Message spell and updating him continuously on what is happening in the city. He is aware that the sovereign queen, Queen Thundering of Harnash has requested aid. Coll thought of us six. Three of us are thicc bois. Coll is very smart. Sergeant Grimes looks like he is old-school thicc boi, so another good choice by Coll. I wasn’t sure if Glint’s Diplomacy magic would be right for our mission, it sounds like war has reached Gadenthor, I think we are past diplomacy, but Glint is very intelligent, so I’m sure he’ll be useful.

The last two times I went on adventures with Silvia, she almost died both times, and I was unaware of her danger. I am not sure my sister Sorrel would forgive me if Silvia died under my watch, I will have to keep an eye on her. I am pleased to see Silvia is carrying the new trident she got from her patron. I believe Dellilah has been training her, so I am eager to see some improvements.


“Don’t try and fight all the dragons.”

Coll said this in particular, to Ivan, Toothy and I. I had never fought a dragon before.

“Maybe just two or three each then?” I suggested.

Ivan reassured Coll that we would be professionals and asked about remunerations.

Outside in the courtyard, Jenna floated down to meet us, and then led us to a second floor room in one of the gate towers that I guess was dedicated as a teleportation room.


Second Time in Trecorvum

Trecorvum was different.

Last time I was here to visit a restaurant called the Tales Tongues Tell in the underground shopping precinct that is Trecorvum, and it was bustling with civilians like a regular city. This day, the bustling people here had spears, and they were pointed at the individuals who had teleported in.

Glint explained that we were here at the behest of the queen. This pacified the guards and they led us through multiple checkpoints to reach the queen.

Trecorvum is a city built on and inside three giant hills with a river flowing between them. We had to exit one hill at the base and enter another one to meet the queen. The guards were constantly looking up at the sky as we used the river ferry to get to the hill where the queen resided.

On the next hill, we were asked if we needed anything. A large leg of meat was provided for Ivan. I asked him what kind of meat it was, since I didn’t recognise the leg shape. Ivan said it was ‘good meat’ and asked for some ale, but war had left Trecorvum a little low on supplies. Silvia was short with Ivan about wanting to drink on a mission. I thought it best not to mention Ivan was drinking before we left the Fort. Ivan himself thought to actually mention this.

The guards said they would try and get a barrel for us once we returned from our mission. It also turned out that they were a group of Half-Orcs also called ‘The Thicc Bois’. I knew I liked Harnash!


Underground Mansion / Planning Room

We were taken to a luxurious underground chamber where we met; Queen Thunderling - a grey-furred tabaxi, General Breakpoint - an enormous, heavily armoured orc, and Garrier an infiltration specialist.

It was explained to us that Gadenthor was a flying city a thousand years ago, it then crashed how I saw it when I was here a while ago - a city on its side. A conflict, apparently involving dawnland adventurers against githyanki, set the city back in the skies. Coll is the key to controlling the city, but the githyanki do not know where he is.

It is unknown what the githyanki want with Gadenthor. They have been hitting Harnash with raids for food and other supplies. They control Gadenthor with their red dragons and wyverns.

We were to accompany Garrier and infiltrate Githyanki controlled Gadenthor. Our mission was to gather intelligence. If we could hinder the githyanki’s plans whilst escaping with intelligence, then this would be seen as an added bonus.

We were led to another teleportation room. Garrier suggested that when we got to Gadenthor, we should get to the top of a high building, and see what we could see. Garrier had a vial of magical liquid that contained the Pass Without A Trace spell to help us. Glint mentioned he could turn four of us invisible. Silvia brought up her ability to disappear when standing still. I had a rummage around my backpack, and voila! One potion of Invisibility. So, in total five out of six of us could be invisible and the remaining member could become invisible when standing still. Our infiltration mission looked like it was starting off well already.

Glint casted the Invisibility spell, I downed the potion, and a wizard operating the teleportation circle transported us to Gadenthor.


Arrival at Gadenthor

We teleported into a side alley. Garrier dropped a stone beacon for our return teleportation trip. No one to see us, and no one could see us as we were all invisible - including to each other, which was a bit tricky.

Silvia was invisible, as long as she wasn’t moving, so as the least invisible she took point enabling us to follow and ensure we would all stay together.

We could hear the piercing cry of dragons overhead. Fortunately flying away from us. As we stepped out of the side alley, the howling wind smacked our invisible forms. The wind was incredibly strong up here in the sky.

We travelled through a residential area and came across a six storey apartment complex. Maybe fifty or sixty feet tall. We would get a good look at Gadenthor from up there.


Breaking and Entering

Ivan unpacked his Cube of Myriad form, and chose for a metal mouse to be his scout. Not for the first time, I peered over Ivan’s shoulder to get a view of the scouts-eye-view from the funny handheld window Ivan had.

Ivan’s mouse couldn't find any people on the first floor. We approached the main door. Glint discovered the second set of doors for the entrance had magical rune markings - there was a magical trap. Garrier suggested that if someone could get inside, then opening the magical door from the inside would not set off the security system. Ivan wanted his metal mouse to have a go at opening the door. I suggested the mouse did not seem thicc enough for the task.

Toothy had spotted an open window on the second floor, and was up for climbing. I said I’d give him a boost. Ivan wanted to perform a double thicc-boi squat. I suggested a one thicc-boi squat and two thicc boi ladder. We settled on my idea.

Given the invisible form Toothy’s ladder had taken, he did very well climbing his fellow thicc-bois. Once he got through the window, it was a mere few seconds later that he opened the front entrance for us.

Grimes wisely shut the door behind us as we went in and made our way to the sixth floor.

One more set of stairs to climb to get to the roof and Glint spotted another trap. This one mechanical, and if triggered we would slide all the way back down to the bottom of the building. Garrier told us these old residential buildings are typically like this - very security conscious.

Garrier disabled the trap for us, enabling us to climb the stairs to the roof.


Up on the Roof

We found ourselves on one of the tallest buildings in the surrounding area. On the street we could feel the cold sky on our bodies. Up on the roof, with no shelter offered by other walls; the cold must have been too much for my comrades. For a goliath? It was a little colder than mountain air, yes.

As I peered over the rooftop, I could feel Garrier next to me. A mile away we could see one area of the city in particular was occupied. There appeared to be less than a hundred githyanki here. Maybe only a dozen dragons of varying size.

There were two groups of githyanki that caught our interest. One group was escorting a large wagon full of crystals. The other group of six githyanki were escorting a central figure into a secured building - a base of operations.

Garrier was keen to hit one of these targets and run. We settled on the secured building, favouring a battle inside where dragons couldn’t get to us easily, and may not even notice.


Githyanki Base

We made our way to the secured building which the githyanki were using as their base of operations. We were making the most of the invisibility magic, there could only be a few minutes left of the spells.

We were almost seen by a wyvern patrol. Glint provided an alternative solution to the noise the wyvern could hear, by producing a rat from his magical vermin hat, and letting it scurry away in the opposite direction to us. The wyvery appeared satisfied and left.

Ivan sent his metal mouse exploring again. The mouse entered the building, went down a spiral staircase and found an extremely large door that looked like a bank vault door, but as the mouse entered the room, following some githyanki inside, the mouse-eye window stopped showing the mouse’s view.

We all went in next, Silvia was out front casting Detect Magic, and seeing through walls! I guess this was what she was doing in the Gilded Mirror a few weeks ago, when she appeared to be looking at walls oddly. As we got to the vault door, Silvia mentioned she could detect magic on the inside of the door. Ivan picked up his mouse.

Ivan suggested a thicc-boi surprise assault. Grimes suggested we could all go in while we’re still invisible and flank the githyanki while the thicc-bois charge. The plan was agreed.

Ivan doubled in size, and a three boi chorus of rage followed.


Assault in the Vault!

We burst into the room, still invisible save for Silvia and now Ivan in giant form. Six githyanki sets of eyes look our way, and one set of eyes belonging to a creature larger than Ivan’s giant form also looked our way. These were the five githyanki soldiers and a mage that we saw whilst we were on the rooftop, and also a twelve foot crystal golem. The crystal of the golem appeared different to the ones we say in the wagon, and these crystals were reflecting a lot of bright light. The large room also appeared to be surrounded by twelve, seven foot statue golems.

The closest githyanki to the vault door was greeted by a magical trident piercing its midsection, charged with what seemed to me divine magic - a lot of divine magic! So much so, the githyanki fell to the ground, dead. Silvia’s new trident was very good. I guess I didn’t need to worry about her.

A shadowy wraith rose from the fallen githyanki, and appeared to be under Silvia’s control… was this new? I could see nothing at all when we fought together in a Daring Heights backalley. I was constantly surrounded by the Darkness spell, and Silva was up on the roof.

Toothy charged across the room to stick the mage lady, and could just about reach her with the point of the glaive. But, unfortunately for Toothy the bright light of the golem he now stood near was too much for our eyes let alone his drow eyes. He could barely see what he was attacking and missed.

There was a githyanki soldier behind Toothy who he ignored to charge the mage. I intercepted this soldier with the smashy end of my poleaxe, hitting it hard on the shoulder.

Glint joined Silvia by her side and launched something magical at the crystal golem, incapacitating it! Garrier provided backup with her gauntlet projectiles, but relied on us to do the fighting, as she inspected the statue golems.

Ivan, magically enlarged to pure thiccness charged at the incapcitated golem with his now immense greataxe. The first swing was a miss. The bright light the crystal golem emits is blinding, but the initial miss allowed Ivan to gauge where next to swing, as the greataxe crashed into the crystal golem with magical force, cracking shards out from the space it landed.

Grimes appeared ahead of me, alongside Toothy, using the Misty Step spell to get there. Grimes' sword cut the mage and burst with divine energy, much like Silvia’s trident.


Assault in the Vault - Continued!

The mage, for her part, was alert to her surroundings. Silvia attempted a powerful spell against her, but the mage was able to counter the spell. Toothy tried to turn away from the crystal golem, to avoid the bright light. It helped. He managed to slash the mage with a solid hit.

I was standing just out of range of the bright light, but still managed to miss my heavily bleeding opponent before finally smashing him into the concrete dead. I then ran around my comrades facing the mage to intercept the githyanki at the back.

As I joined the lone githyanki I felt the effects of a spell spreading out from a location around the mage, who looks like she has somehow fallen asleep in the fight...

“Don’t kill her! We’ll question her later, she’s an important asset!” Cried Glint.

The githyanki soldiers, no longer surprised by the assault lept to protect the mage. Glint, Grimes and I were assaulted by githyanki swords. Despite my conditioning, I could not defend the magical part of the attack so well. The sword itself slashed me like a kitten’s small claws. The psychic damage however, my thicc body has no defence for. These githyanki are cheating. I don’t like them.

Ivan continued damaging the golem with his greataxe, and managed to kill Glint’s aggressor at the same time, while Grimes killed the mage guard that challenged him.

I was joined by Silvia’s spector friend, and together we felled the outnumbered githyanki before us.

“Prismatic security fully online! Heavily damaged. Targeting”.

The crystal golem had finally thrown off the effects of Glint’s spell. The golem attacked Ivan, Silvia managed to deflect one of the two attacks with her trident. Ivan toughed out the hit that landed.

Toothy, had not been having a good time with all the bright light the crystal golem was emitting. Toothy was handicapped enough under regular sunlight. Now that the crystal golem had hit one of his fellow thicc bois, Toothy was pissed. Toothy swung his glaive recklessly at the golem, landing cleanly, causing a split to form where the glaive’s blade landed with immense force. Light fractures out, as if this was the golem’s blood and the crystal golem was incapacited anew, but this time; permanently.

“That’s a thicc bois right there!” Comrade Ivan cheeringly shouted.


Githyanki Extraction

We tied up the sleepy mage.

Garrier informed us that while we were fighting, she found a control device that would have activated the other twelve golems - Garrier destroyed the control device.

No longer invisible, we decided to make a run for the rune stone where we would be extracted back to Trecorvum. Silvia used her spector friend to lead the patrols in the opposite direction to where we were going for a while.
Garrier used her Pass Without A Trace spell potion to make us less trackable. Glint was able to turn two of us invisible with his remaining magical reserves.

We were able to see what the other active group of githyanki with their wagon had been up to. The crystals had helped create a portal where red dragon’s were appearing from.

A dragon from the sky beared down on us, as we entered the alley where our escape stone lay. But, Pass Without A Trace had given us a good enough head start, as the teleportation spell carried us back to Trecorvum before the dragon could reach us.


Debriefing Back in Trecorvum

Queen Thundering and General Breakpoint were pleased to have gained a prisoner and to learn that twelve golems have been rendered useless for the time being.

Garrier had managed to procure an ioun stone from the crystal golem before we left Gadenthor. Toothy took possession of that. Glint obtained a magic scroll, and pocketed some of the crystal shards from the golem for later study. I took one of the available healing potions we also found.

There was a roaring farewell between the Kantas Thicc Bois and Harnashian Thicc Bois. We did get to have a few drinks before departing, which was nice, but the Harnashians couldn’t spare us too much of their time. They were at war, after all.


Back at Fort Ettin - Thicc Bois Come in All Shapes and Sizes

Most everyone had to leave back to Daring Heights where they reside. Ivan went back to Port Ffirst. It was nice having pretty much all of the Thicc Bois in the gym. Maybe now more adventurers will come and train at Kavel’s Corner? Thicc and non-thicc - after all, if anyone could do with spending time in the gym, it’s the non-thicc, so they are very welcome, too. But, now it’s back to just me and my Iron Bros.

But then, maybe not?

As I was walking back to Kavel’s Corner from the Fort’s Entrance a familiar, small beetle-fairy greeted me.

“Hey Kavel! How ya doing big guy?! I've been working hard working out more just like you've said and I think I’ve gotten stronger. Can I come train with you and your giant goliath friends?”