Post by Nessa al-Kiram on Mar 23, 2022 23:46:56 GMT
I couldn’t say who I am. I don’t have the slightest idea. I have no roots, no story, no country, and I like it that way.
I’m here. I’m free. I can imagine anything. Everything’s possible. I only have to lift my eyes and once again I become the world.
Now, on this very spot, a feeling of happiness that I could keep forever.
When I was called to the Temple, when I opened my eyes on that shallow altar the sensations flooded through me again, just like the first time. Just like every time. It never gets old.
First, I thought, I’ll have a bath. You who live here cannot imagine how it feels to have warm water against your skin.
I have no idea how you people get anything done. Have you felt the slight currents and eddies whirl around? And as the water cools, oh the goddess save me, it is like a caress.
And I will walk for hours. The plants will bewitch me. The colours alone could take a mortal lifetime just to gaze at.
Then I’ll have my hair cut by a barber who will massage me down to the fingertips. The oils he will use will fill my senses, and he will work deep into my muscles.
How can you all walk around with the skin you are blessed with and not fall to your knees giving thanks for the infinite pleasures a simple barbers rough knuckles can conjure?
If someone stumbles over my legs, he’ll have to apologise. I’ll be pushed around, and I’ll push back. In the crowded bar, the bartender will find me a table. That will be my first day … And the bar. Ohhhhh the bar. To smoke and have a drink – each one is raw explosion deep inside and if you do it together.. if you do it together... ai ai ai.
Or, to draw. You know, you take a pencil, and you make a dark line, then you make a light line, and together it's a good line.
And so here I am. Nessa the soldier. Nessa the healer. Nessa the protector. Nessa the child of starlight. And I cannot wait.
But there is longing.
I admit that.
There is something I have never known.
There is longing for a wave of love that would stir in me.
That’s what makes me clumsy in this body. The absence of love. The desire for love. The desire to love. Desire.
When you have some version of eternity it’s easy to say time will heal everything. You hear it when you meet another traveller – a messenger, a warrior, a servant, just passing through.
You are hurt? You are sad?
Time will heal everything.
But what if time is the illness? What then?
I’m here. I’m free. I can imagine anything. Everything’s possible. I only have to lift my eyes and once again I become the world.
Now, on this very spot, a feeling of happiness that I could keep forever.
When I was called to the Temple, when I opened my eyes on that shallow altar the sensations flooded through me again, just like the first time. Just like every time. It never gets old.
First, I thought, I’ll have a bath. You who live here cannot imagine how it feels to have warm water against your skin.
I have no idea how you people get anything done. Have you felt the slight currents and eddies whirl around? And as the water cools, oh the goddess save me, it is like a caress.
And I will walk for hours. The plants will bewitch me. The colours alone could take a mortal lifetime just to gaze at.
Then I’ll have my hair cut by a barber who will massage me down to the fingertips. The oils he will use will fill my senses, and he will work deep into my muscles.
How can you all walk around with the skin you are blessed with and not fall to your knees giving thanks for the infinite pleasures a simple barbers rough knuckles can conjure?
If someone stumbles over my legs, he’ll have to apologise. I’ll be pushed around, and I’ll push back. In the crowded bar, the bartender will find me a table. That will be my first day … And the bar. Ohhhhh the bar. To smoke and have a drink – each one is raw explosion deep inside and if you do it together.. if you do it together... ai ai ai.
Or, to draw. You know, you take a pencil, and you make a dark line, then you make a light line, and together it's a good line.
And so here I am. Nessa the soldier. Nessa the healer. Nessa the protector. Nessa the child of starlight. And I cannot wait.
But there is longing.
I admit that.
There is something I have never known.
There is longing for a wave of love that would stir in me.
That’s what makes me clumsy in this body. The absence of love. The desire for love. The desire to love. Desire.
When you have some version of eternity it’s easy to say time will heal everything. You hear it when you meet another traveller – a messenger, a warrior, a servant, just passing through.
You are hurt? You are sad?
Time will heal everything.
But what if time is the illness? What then?