Tempest Fugit - Varga - 15/02/22

Tempest Fugit - Varga - 15/02/22 Mar 13, 2022 19:38:00 GMT Jaezred Vandree and Velania Kalugina like this

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Post by Varga on Mar 13, 2022 19:38:00 GMT

An excerpt from the play "A Catastrophic Day or Elementally, my dear Cori"

By Cleaver, co-owner of CHAOS, scion of the Hollow Spine Clan

Main cast:

Cori – bard, minotaur, beefcake eye-candy

Felix – bard, dwarf, tricorn-wearer

Iorveth – fighter, elf, bard that the world never deserved

Ruk – mage, githyanki, cynic

Varga – barbarian, half-orc, half-fangirl

Zola – fighter, drow, too normal for the company she keeps

Supporting cast:

Catastrophe – elder tempest (voice only, represented by animatronics)

Fiend – succubus (Producer's note: make him shirtless for his scene, need to think of hiring someone sexy for the role, and include partial nudity in the contract)

FADE-IN:

FIEND

Dawnlands will fall!

Echo, then uncomfortable pause.

IORVETH

Erm… This isn't the Dawnlands. We're in Kul-Goran.

FIEND

(swears in Abyssal) Well, shit!

Disappears, leaving a fading sign of Shar behind. (Producer's note: we don't have the budget for a professional illusion, just get some student from Daring Academy to make one)

Heroes look at each other, shrug, and exit the mansion.

OUTSIDE:

Heroes stand within a large summoning circle, Ruk and Felix examine the rocks.

FELIX

Yep, that's the circle.

CORI (voiceover from behind the scene)

There's the stone! Quick, get it! I can't hold off the storm for long!

Heroes make an epic circle, back to back, peering into the storm, turning their heads to cover the whole area.

VARGA

There! But it's too far off!

A small green-black stone is visible flying over the audience. Felix throws Vargaa bottle of Hill Giant Strength Potion. Varga downs it in one go. Her muscles visibly grow (Producer's note: replace with minor illusion because of budgetary constraints)

VARGA

Huh, that's what Ivan's about all the time! Now we can get to the stone!

Varga picks up Felix, spins to gain momentum, and throws him into the audience.

FELIX

Almost got it!

Casts dimension door to get closer to the stone, but retains previous momentum and flies past it.

FELIX

I didn't get it!

Ruk continues to examine the stone circle, and listens to the storm, non-chalantly.

RUK

It's an Elemental. We must be dealing with an Elder Tempest here!

In the background, Felix gets zapped by the lightning and flies off stage.

RUK

(to the audience) Yes, definitely an Elder Tempest.

Cori joins the group. Insert an action scene of everyone trying to withstand the storm. When all seems lost, Dwarvish curses are heard from beyond the stage. Felix appears, tricorn slightly singed, carried by a winged celestial and accompanied by an angelic chorus swearing in Celestial.

FELIX

Alright, I'm back! (picks a tune on his guitar) Ruk, have a bardic inspiration!

RUK

(scandalised) Can I not?

FELIX

Too late!

Insert a music number. At the end, the head of the Tempest appears above the heroes. Varga steps up, eyes glowing red and cloak billowing, shakes weapons at Catastrophe in intimidation.

VARGA

I am Varga, of the clan Crashin' Boulders, the Fastest of Tornadoes that even winds write home about! Catastrophe, you're throwing a tantrum! Where are your manners?!

An awkward pause as Felix's guitar continues. Zola facepalms.

IORVETH

I think it's time to add some bass to this tune!

Iorveth takes out his sabre, makes a beautiful parry, slices at Catastrophe. The blade makes a thunderous noise on impact. Catastrophe looks at him dispassionately, an even louder thunderous noise comes from her. Iorveth looks from his weapon to Catastrophe and back.

IORVETH

Oh, right…

Zola facepalms again. She summons a steed and rides off. The heroes strategize. In the background, Zola rides after the stone, gets picked up by the storm, maneuvers herself to get it, catches the stone in a crazy feat of acrobatics, gets pulled further by the stone, gets zapped by lightning, all unnoticed by others.(Producer's note: I think this scene has potential. Do we have anyone who can do stunts?)

CORI

Alright, let's do this!

He plays a tune, looking at Varga intently. Varga blushes.

VARGA

Are you free for an arm-wrestling match later?

CORI

Absolutely!

Varga, inspired, comes up to Catastrophe.

VARGA

I said. Mind. Your. Manners!

Catastrophe turns to Varga and huffs. Varga and Cori get blown off stage.

FELIX

Let a professional bard handle this!

He shoots a beam of poison at Catastrophe, it flies around, trying to find a target, but can't, because there's only thin air, and fizzles out.

FELIX

Fine! You, get her!

Celestial shoots arrow after arrow at Catastrophe, they also go through thin air. Iorveth tries to cut her, swears in Elvish as he fails. Ruk rubs his eyes, looks around, and uses telekinesis to lower the stone with Zola still attached to it as others scream and fight against the storm. (Producer's note: we might consider adding some of the effects as Major Images later. I bet it would still look just as good as doing it for real) Zola runs into the house with the stone in her hand. As she closes the door, the stone stops glowing, and the storm ends abruptly, everyone who was fighting it falls in a heap. Catastrophe, now sane again, looks at them in confusion.

POST-CREDIT SCENE:

Zola and Iorveth drink tea together. Varga is seen going off on a date with Cori. Felix tries to play a romantic tune after them, but Ruk messes up his performance with magic.

THE END

Producer's note: The story is a bit simplistic, and the romantic sub-plot comes out of nowhere, but the action scenes combined with slapstick seem promising. I feel like it needs more character development. Might reduce the swearing to stay within the age rating. I'm on the ropes about this one. Either turn it down, or give to someone more experienced to do the treatment. I've been thinking Leocanto? But he might turn it into a musical. Either way, I think he's submitting his own play soon, so maybe we should wait for that before we commit.