Luck In Love and Library - 10/02/2022 - A Kavel Perspective

Drinks Together At Fort Ettin…

I was outside in the Training Yard at Kavel’s Corner doing some awesome sets of deadlifts, when comrade Derthaad approached, and said:

“Hey Kavel! Have you seen what’s outside? The Mysterious Library is back.”

Hmmm. I wondered if those displacer beasts from the library’s greenhouse are still there? They hid and knocked me on my arse, before I even saw them! My comrades drove them off before I was back up and ready to fight. I did not get to get my licks in!

Derthaad came to Fort Ettin to update me on the research I asked him to undertake on werewolves. I think my bros Tim and Sampson have a handle on their lycanthropy, but I wanted my blue-scaled dragonborn friend to have a look. As a Watch investigator he’s very smart. I entrusted him to see if he could uncover anything important in the Academy library, and paid for his expenses. I trust Derthaad in matters that require the mental muscles. He was my go-to comrade on this. Plus, I couldn’t find Glint - the more academic of my super smart friends - so I had to ask Derthaad for help instead.

We were in the Great Hall, having a drink, when my favourite, polymorphing halfling friend Kelne joined us along with Celina, who both Derthaad and I saw not too long ago at Mrs. Fabblestabble’s shop. Last time I saw Kelne, however, was earlier than that. We were playing Watch Investigator in the city, trying to solve the case of a person’s missing face.
We were also joined by comrade Levuka, one of my many nature-magic friends. I hadn’t seen her since we had to track down the T-Rex hides she needed for her brigandine.

One drink led to many…


Breakfast Together At Fort Ettin

The next morning we were all indulging in a hefty fried breakfast - for reasons.

Coll approached with coffee refills. He said he wasn’t happy with what seemed to be a starring match between the Mysterious Library and the Fort. Coll had some books with him and wondered if we wouldn’t mind giving them to the library and seeing what we could do about its presence. Many of us were regulars at the Mysterious Library, so we were more than happy to do this favour for Coll. Plus, I mentioned that there is plenty for us to do in the library:

“We could go and inspect the Armoury for new weapons? Maybe we could get more of the iridescent apples from the greenhouse? Maybe fight the displacer beasts in the greenhouse again?”


Back to the Library (3rd Time For Regular Library-Goer Kavel)

As we left the Fort, just a short walk away was the 100ft cube library with its terrasque marble arch over a massive, concave entrance. As always, the library had teleported to wherever it wanted to be.

Everyone claimed to smell baked cherry pie as we approached the library. I couldn’t smell that. I could see though that the library had windows, which I had never seen before. They sort of looked like eyes and the eyes were looking at the Fort and its pink walls. Strange.

Levuka brought out her black onyx carving of a mastiff. I hadn’t seen Fenris since that time we went to the Fire Plane. In no time, a big, black and talkative mastiff appeared to accompany us into the library.

As we walked in, the lights were all pink, by which I mean all the flumphs were all pink. Did they dye themselves? Now inside, I could smell the cherry pie.

Chonks was not here to welcome us, like he previously had done the last two times I was here. There were a lot of visitors this time round, all silently perusing the shelves.

“Chonks! Are you about?!” I called out. No response. Just a lot of looks from the other visitors.

I suggested, “maybe Chonks is in the Greenhouse?”

Derthaad disagreed, “you just want to fight the displacer beasts again.”

Derthaad is too suspicious of an ulterior motive. It is perfectly reasonable that Chonks could be in the greenhouse. Besides, “cherries grow on trees. Maybe the greenhouse is where the cherry smell is coming from?”

“No. The Kitchen,” Celina interjected. Okay, fair point. It is more likely that the baked cherry pie smell is coming from the library’s kitchen.

Levuka asked a visitor if they had seen the librarian, and we were giving directions to the kitchen, which was through the cafeteria.


Narrow Encounter of the Chonks Kind

From the Main Hall to the Cafeteria there is a long, narrow corridor. Of course me and Derthaad had to duck down and squeeze in a bit. This library is massive, it’s 100ft cubed. The greenhouse, I know, is massive - it’s an inside forest. So with all the available space, why must this corridor be narrow? Next time I’m here, I’ll volunteer to widen this stone corridor with my masonry tools.

The baked smell was definitely stronger. Halfway down the corridor, there was a large mimic with a chest-like upper body and tentacles for his bottom half - it was Chonks. He was sitting on the floor. He seemed upset. Derthaad asked Chonks why he seemed upset. Chonks wanted pie, but, “Cooky,” wouldn’t give him any, since the pies were for patrons only. Kelne said that we could get some pie and just bring them to Chonks. At this suggestion, Chonks expression changed from a dour one to an excited one. Kelne gave Chonks a hug, and asked if we could be of any further assistance. Chonks mentioned that the library seemed to want something and the Glassblower’s door was open, when it’s normally closed. The pink building - Fort Ettin - attracted the library’s attention, it seemed. Someone went to check on the Glassblower room, but they haven’t come back. Could you check on that? We agreed we would.

Levuka handed over to Chonks the books Coll gave us. Chonks licked them and seemed to know the titles of the books from doing so. Was that magic or just mimic stuff? With our pledged assistance in; getting him pie, checking the Glassblower room, and the books, Chonks was much happier.

I clarified the plan with my comrades, “so, kitchen first, then the greenhouse, and then the Glassblower room - that’s right? Right?”

I was told we could possibly go to the Greenhouse if there was time.


Library Cafeteria

Among the tables and seats of the cafeteria, we came across the gelatinous cubes a few of us met in the Greenhouse during our last visit to the library. They were jumping around with excitement.

If we were to have any time for the Greenhouse, we had to get moving, so I made my way to the kitchen door, whilst I waved at the cubes. But, I was intercepted by an attack of hugs from the cubes, as were Kelne, Derthaad and Celina - the cubes remember us saving them from the displacer beasts and their nastiness. Levuka got some hugs too.

I used my talent for speaking with animals again, and checked with the cubes if the displacer beasts were giving them any trouble? The cubes said that the displacer beasts leave them alone now thanks to us, and they collected a bunch of cherries for Cooky to bake into pies, but it’s taking so long. I relayed what they said to my comrades, but also pressed the importance of checking up on the displacer beasts to keep the order.

“Come on man! You’ve got it in for them. You don’t go on about the corpse-flowers.” Comrade Derthaad was once again seeing an ulterior motive where there was none. It should be pointed out though that I got a good hit in on our opponents when facing the corpse-flowers before I was knocked unconscious. Furthermore, when my comrades healed me back up that time, it was before the end of combat, so I got to join in with the beatdown of the remaining corpse-flowers. But, not just in that instance; two more times during that evening. In the displacer beast battle - I got no licks in!

We heard a very audible sigh from the kitchen, so we went in to investigate.


Library Kitchen

Inside the immense kitchen, there was a much larger, black cube - this was Cooky. The other cubes in the cafeteria ranged from a foot cubed to a metre cubed. Cooky was around 150 centimetres cubed. She had multiple, long, gelatinous tentacles looking after multiple pots filled with different fruits on different stoves.

Cooky said the pies are coming, it’s just taking some time, since she’s the only cook.

Kelne had a solution. They could call down a planar ally to help out in the kitchen. I thought all the summoning spells I had seen, like Levuka summoning pixies, were meant for fighting. I did not know you could call down a celestial being and have them bake pies. Magic is more versatile than I had imagined.

It took Kelne ten minutes to perform the casting of the spell Planar Ally. An extremely large - taller than me - blue angel appeared out of the magic symbols that Kelne cast. Tabbi, the planetar, was taken aback that they were summoned to help make pie, instead of, say, fight demons. Kelne chatted to Tabbi and Tabbi mentioned that they were fond of custard pies. Kelne checked if Cooky would make custard pies, in exchange for help in the kitchen. Cooky was okay with this. Tabbi was okay with this too. Tabbi put on an apron and got down to baking pies.

With one part of our mission for Chonks under way, we went back through the cafeteria and narrow corridor and made our way to…


The Greenhouse Glassblower Room

So very close to the Greenhouse, but we have a mission, so Glassblower room it was, and the door was indeed open.

No flumph lighting in here. There are glass bottles hanging up around the place. These bottles had what I guess was magically stored lightning inside them, providing the light here on the ground floor and above on the second floor. This room, like the Greenhouse, had an open atrium.

There were a lot of bottled ingredients for potions around - not my business. Some of the lightning bottles on the stairs were damaged. There didn’t appear to be anybody here.

Derthaad felt the damage here wasn’t someone committing a crime, but more like clumsiness. Levuka could see footprints on the stairway, and we decided to proceed with caution. Kelne cast the Pass Without A Trace spell, and we went up the stairs without making a sound. Derthaad casted his Mage Armour spell. Kelne additionally casted this Mirror Image spell, and now there were three more Kelne’s, or so it seemed.

We may have walked up the stairs silently, but the broken glass bottles which now had lightning jolting out of them caused a few of us some bother. One of Kelne’s mirrored images disappeared as a jolt of lightning hit it. Levuka and I were less fortunate. We got hit full-on by the unbottled lightning. I didn’t receive any obvious physical harm, which I was expecting, since I didn’t rage. But, instead I felt exhausted. Levuka too.

We approached a large fountain in the centre of the room. There was a statue central to the fountain. A female halfling, long-braided hair, a cheeky smile. She was holding two goblets in her hands. There was a plaque by the fountain, where an elven man was standing. He seemed like a youngish elf. He looked like he had a worse time with the unbottled lightning than either me or Levuka. The elf was dressed in black - a little too heavily. Through his coat, I guessed he had a very slight frame. His weapons looked more ornamental than practical. I walked up to him.

“Hello.” This startled him. I forgot about Kelne’s Pass Without A Trace spell.

The elf was most fraught. He was frustrated that we were now here and would get the treasure. He didn’t know what the treasure was, he just knew it was special, but the puzzle on the plaque had him stumped. He was aware of this treasure having heard rumours back in Candlekeep, where this library used to reside. The elf really wanted to gift the treasure here to a person who wasn’t his girlfriend, but he was certain would be eventually.

Celina pointed out that if he didn’t know what the treasure was, and nobody seemed to, he could avoid further lightning or any damage by just buying a ring and giving that to his ‘future girlfriend’ and claim that was the treasure.

Derthaad pointed out to the elf that we didn’t know about the treasure here until he told us.


Pieces of Potion Puzzle

The elf man pointed to the plaque with the riddle on it, and professed that his talent lied in parkour and other roguish talents. Derthaad carried on with his brutal assasination of the elf man’s brain, by striking at his character - Derthaad questioned the man’s parkour talents since he was so battered by the unbottled lightning over by the stairs. At this point it was only fair for me to point out that the stairs were quite slippery. Levuka nodded her agreement.

The plaque had a riddle about which of the ingredients on a nearby shelf needed to be added to one of the goblets in the halfling statue’s hands, and then toasted against the other goblet.

At this point, I should have declared I’d go to the Greenhouse while the rest of my comrades solved the riddle. Potion and spell ingredients; this really wasn’t my area of specialty.

With a first attempt at hand, Derthaad toasted the statue and took a sip. Disgust was what he fed back to us. A second attempt at mixology later, and Celina tried the next concoction. Success!

The elf man was impressed, if not frustrated. He was also quite unwell after his experience with the stairs. Derthaad asked that I bring him with us, so I hoisted the party’s new ‘rogue’ onto my shoulder, and off we went to the next room.


The Next Room - Good For Good Pups

There was a similar female halfling statue in this room. But this one was grinning from ear to ear, and in one hand she held a huge grapefruit and the other a small, ornate looking bag.

Our rogue friend on my shoulder somehow found the energy to dismount from my shoulder, and ran up to the ornate bag, “treasure!”, is what he said as he dashed over to the statue.

“Wait! … Dog treats!”

The elf man was not pleased. He stormed off leaving the dog treats. At least now we could report to Chonks that the guy who went into the Glassblower room before us had left safely.

Levuka picked up the grapefruit, and the bag of dog treats and gave one of the treats to Fenris. The treats seemed good by all accounts.


Back At The Cafeteria

When we got to the narrow corridor, Chonks shooed us into the cafeteria - progress had been made. The tables were covered in baked goods; macarons, pastries and pies stacked high on multiple tables. All sorts of flavours. A lot of cherry pies - Chonks would definitely get some of these - but also a noticeable amount of custard pies. The cubes, of course, were jumping with excitement.

Cooky looked much less tired. Tabbi must have been a great help. Just as the first of the three warning bells rang, signalling that the library was readying to teleport away, Cooky ushered us to one of the large circular tables in the middle - it was time for some afternoon tea and pies.

The cubes were all sat by the rectangular tables in the top half of the cafeteria. With them, on their own table was Tabbi, devouring a lot of custard pies.
I was tucking into a key lime pie, and Levuka some of the cherry pie, when one of the others had to point out that the cubes were being cheeky and just missed throwing pie at us.

It was on.


Pie Fight! Rumble In The Cafeteria!

Kelne and Celina were pulling double duty, stuffing pie into their mouths, and into containers (for Kelne, their hat) all for Chonks.

“Tabbi! Come join our side!” I shouted to Tabbi, but they didn’t budge from their spot eating custard pies. Instead, they shook their head and indicated that the losing team will be the one where all team-mates had been hit in the face twice. Tabbi themself wasn’t on a team - but it didn’t stop them from hurling pies at team Fort Ettin.

Celina used her Catapult spell to hurl apple pie at the cubes. She was just as proficient at pie throwing as she is with apple throwing. She got some good hits in, and then disappeared.

There were seven cubes to our six humanoids. Oh and they technically had tabbi for a further numbers advantage. The cubes launched many pies between them. A few of us dodged, a few got hit, and Derthaad’s magical shield protected him from getting creampie’d to the face.

Tabbi hurled a couple of pies at us. Missed Levuka, but got me in the side of the face. Tabbi’s custard pies are massive. If I didn’t get hit, Kelne would have disappeared under the cover of custard.

Some of the pies on our table were still on these very large trays. I picked up a tray with six pies on, and held on to the tray tightly as I leant back, and let my arm act like a catapult. The pies on the tray ejected off in an arch directed at three of the cubes. Full coverage! They had just been pie’d, but they were enjoying themselves, and still jumping around with joy, which was fun to see.

Derthaad, like Kelne had his own summon spell. He summoned an iron golem, much like the one at Mr. Penrosa’s estate. The golem, which he named ‘Tic’ was a pie-throwing machine.

Kelne had some fun trying to pie they’re own summoned planetar, while Levuka casted Fairy Fire over the cubes in the far right corner of the cafeteria, and then retreated to a defensible position crouched behind our table.

Celina reappeared from somewhere and tried to pie Tabbi. No luck. Tabbi was a difficult person to hit. His wings would block incoming pie. We didn’t have to hit them to win, but it was frustrating with all the hits they were landing. Tabbi landed a second pie to my face.

To my surprise, Celina was standing behind me. She reminded me that the rules did not stipulate that people who took a hit to the face twice couldn’t keep throwing food. Also, there was no rule about staying in place, so I picked up some pies and walked across territories and picked up one of the remaining un-hit cubes, lit by Levuka’s Fairy Fire, and put their face in the pie. This seemed a bit cruel, but when I checked, the cube was happily eating the pie. Now I was standing right next to Tabbi, I took advantage to throw a pie up at their face. It seemed wrong that they had completely avoided any pie so far. I got them good in the side of the head.

Two pies later from Celina, and the grey cube, the last one was double pie’d. Tabbi had only been pie’d to the face once, but they didn’t need to count for the win. Team Fort Ettin had won! But, Cooky was not impressed. The cubes, seeing Cooky sighing by the kitchen door, immediately started cleaning the cafeteria up. We helped a little too, but Cooky sighed and shoved some whole pies in our hands, said they were for us and it was time to leave. Tabbi helped with cleaning up too, whilst still finding time to devour more custard pie.


Cherry Pies For Chonks

Chonks was eagerly awaiting our return from the cafeteria, and was immensely pleased with what Kelne, Celina and Levuka had stashed for him. Chonks greedily ate all the cherry pies. He was the happiest mimic I’d ever seen, and he brought us all in for a big, slimy hug.

Back to his old self, Chonks asked us if we found anything at the Glassblower’s room, and Levuka presented the grapefruit. Chonks knocked out a tune on the grapefruit, and it opened into five equal sized agate segments. These were known as ‘A Slice of Luck’ and had magical, lucky properties - this was the treasure. At that revelation, the second chime rang and Chonks motioned us towards the library exit.

As we left the library, the library vanished. To where, I don’t know.


Return To The Fort

Coll was pleased with our success, and it turned out the pet treats were for the library. To whom I do not know. Surely not Tim and Sampson? They may be werewolves now, but that doesn’t mean they like dog treats, right?