Aftermath, or, a refrain from the joy of partying
Dec 7, 2021 23:14:06 GMT
Ian (Menace), Anthony, and 3 more like this
Post by Wixspartan on Dec 7, 2021 23:14:06 GMT
The joy after defeating the evil that has plagued Kantas for so long barely phases Silvia, so new to this place, she has more on her mind. She all but drags Sorrel to an empty corridor and as she finishes leading Sorrel there she turns and stares at her with a small light behind the darkness that clouds her eyes
"Are you ok Sorrel?"
Sorrel wrestles with the burden that she is keeping a dark secret... she looks into Silvia's eyes and sees a deep, familiar pain.
She breathes out slowly and shakes her head.
"No... I am very far from OK. What did you do back there?"
"I didn't do anything except bind your hands. I didn't enjoy it but I have had too much experience with hurting others against my will to not help another in need"
Sorrel can't take her eyes off Silvia. She speaks slowly and carefully.
"I am cursed. Can I see that in you?"
Silvia stops and breaths slowly
"I am, yes. But not in the same way I don't think. How long have you been dealing with this?"
"Not long. Forever. I don't know. It eats at the only things I care about. It destroys the only things I am. But please understand this - the most important thing to me... the thing I have sworn to die before doing... is to never hurt a comrade. Today you saved me from death. If I had hurt a comrade, I would not have been able to live. I owe you both my life and more importantly my faith and honour. There is no-one in this world or the next I owe so much to."
"Shhh, calm yourself. You don't owe me anything, I simply helped you just as others have helped me in the past. Promise me you will not blame yourself if you do harm others. None of this is your fault and you certainly should not feel as if these actions are truly who you are. I have dedicated my life to using what I can do for good and even then I terrify myself every time I raise my weapon to harm, I can't bear for someone else to feel the same. Now, would you like some food? I expect you're starving and this conversation is better had over a good meal"
Sorrel smiles for the first time in weeks, painfully but warmly.
"This thing even controls my hunger. I could always do with some food. Just..."
she shudders.
"It always wants raw meat. Let's eat but don't watch me."
She takes Silvia's hand.
"I respect your words and I admire your courage and generosity but I am afraid you cannot return the debt I owe. Where I am from, this is a debt that cannot be erased and nor would I ever want it to be. I will eat with you, drink with you and then the goddess knows where our paths may meet. For now I have asked them to hold me in a cell at Selune's temple to restrain this curse. If you ask for me, I will come. If someone threatens you, I will stand in their path. If you are in trouble, I will hunt them down. Whether you want it or not, you are under my protection."
She breathes out.
"And you are under my protection for the rest of your life, so you can resist it or accept it. It's probably easier if you accept. Otherwise it'll get so awkward."
Silvia takes the hand in turn and smiles sadly
"Then I accept, you wait here I think there is a kitchen around here. People tend to do small favours so I'm sure I can get you something strange to eat"
She lets go and quickly leaves the quiet corridor, five minutes later she has returned with a plate of raw meats and some bread as well as two cups, one with wine and the other with water. She holds the wine and meats towards Sorrel.
"Drinks?"
Sorrel takes the wine and raises the cup to Silvia.
"To whatever the hell is going on in this place. To the battles we fight. And to victory."
"To surviving another day"
Silvia puts her cup down and sits against the wall before pulling a bandana out of her pack and tying it as a makeshift blindfold. After this she begins slowly eating her bread in silence. Sorrel smiles again as Silvia bandages her eyes, but still turns her face away as she wolfs the bloody flesh, revolted and unsatisfied as the final mouthful goes down. She drains her cup.
"You can look now," she says quietly.
"I have to go. I am walking back to Daring Heights tonight. Exhaustion is my friend."
As Silvia undoes the blindfold she looks up
"You don't have to you know, from what I've heard the rooms in this place are free for people like us"
"I don't sleep well these days. But I would like to talk with you again. There is comfort in your eyes and I can see you know so much more of this than me. If you ever have time and are passing the temple, please come and find me. The hospitality is simple but it would be an honour to share it. And..."
she cocks her head to one side and looks Silvia up and down.
"You don't have to come in to the temple. Just tell the priest at the door and I'll come out. Just in case."
"Please, you said you wanted to protect me. I may die of sorrow if I hear that you are being held in a cell. You can take my bed, I'm a very light sleeper and far too used to sleeping on floors to find it comfortable anyway. I'll be sleeping by the door and if anything happens I'll be able to help you. At least consider it, please, you don't deserve to have to sit in a cell"
Sorrel looks away.
"You don't understand. I have to be restrained. I have asked them to keep me in the sealed rooms. It is for the best. And your kindness is breaking my heart and I swear I don't let people see me cry the first time I meet them."
"If it is your wish then I won't stop you, I understand how painful this must be. Let me at least accompany you as you leave, there must be a more discreet exit around this place, I think I saw one whilst moving around earlier"
Silvia stands up at this point and offers a stabilising hand to Sorrel to help ground her. Sorrel accepts gratefully, but keeps her head bowed so Silvia can't see the water that seems to have unaccountably filled her eyes. Smoke from the kitchen no doubt. Silvia leads her to the exit wordlessly and simply gives her a nod as she lets go, although as Sorrel leaves she shouts behind her suddenly.
"It's not your fault, please believe me. You don't deserve this"
Sorrel thinks for a moment.
"I wonder. If I were to try for godhood like our twisted friend tonight and I were then to decide to punish a mercenary who had stolen others lives for money, this is as good a torment as I could devise. I loved once. I lost her. I took a horrible revenge and when that was over I found... I was good at it... and I liked my job. Perhaps I do deserve it. We shall see. But Silvia, you have done a good thing tonight - perhaps a better thing than I have ever done. You have stopped the taking of life not once but twice. I don't know what haunts you, but you were the best of us this evening."
Hours later the party has died down, Silvia sits in her room still awake and stares at her knuckles, the fraying thread peeking through under fresh layers. She sighs and lies down, watching the imps flitting around the ceiling, jeering at her. She wished they would go away, she really could do with some sleep...
"Are you ok Sorrel?"
Sorrel wrestles with the burden that she is keeping a dark secret... she looks into Silvia's eyes and sees a deep, familiar pain.
She breathes out slowly and shakes her head.
"No... I am very far from OK. What did you do back there?"
"I didn't do anything except bind your hands. I didn't enjoy it but I have had too much experience with hurting others against my will to not help another in need"
Sorrel can't take her eyes off Silvia. She speaks slowly and carefully.
"I am cursed. Can I see that in you?"
Silvia stops and breaths slowly
"I am, yes. But not in the same way I don't think. How long have you been dealing with this?"
"Not long. Forever. I don't know. It eats at the only things I care about. It destroys the only things I am. But please understand this - the most important thing to me... the thing I have sworn to die before doing... is to never hurt a comrade. Today you saved me from death. If I had hurt a comrade, I would not have been able to live. I owe you both my life and more importantly my faith and honour. There is no-one in this world or the next I owe so much to."
"Shhh, calm yourself. You don't owe me anything, I simply helped you just as others have helped me in the past. Promise me you will not blame yourself if you do harm others. None of this is your fault and you certainly should not feel as if these actions are truly who you are. I have dedicated my life to using what I can do for good and even then I terrify myself every time I raise my weapon to harm, I can't bear for someone else to feel the same. Now, would you like some food? I expect you're starving and this conversation is better had over a good meal"
Sorrel smiles for the first time in weeks, painfully but warmly.
"This thing even controls my hunger. I could always do with some food. Just..."
she shudders.
"It always wants raw meat. Let's eat but don't watch me."
She takes Silvia's hand.
"I respect your words and I admire your courage and generosity but I am afraid you cannot return the debt I owe. Where I am from, this is a debt that cannot be erased and nor would I ever want it to be. I will eat with you, drink with you and then the goddess knows where our paths may meet. For now I have asked them to hold me in a cell at Selune's temple to restrain this curse. If you ask for me, I will come. If someone threatens you, I will stand in their path. If you are in trouble, I will hunt them down. Whether you want it or not, you are under my protection."
She breathes out.
"And you are under my protection for the rest of your life, so you can resist it or accept it. It's probably easier if you accept. Otherwise it'll get so awkward."
Silvia takes the hand in turn and smiles sadly
"Then I accept, you wait here I think there is a kitchen around here. People tend to do small favours so I'm sure I can get you something strange to eat"
She lets go and quickly leaves the quiet corridor, five minutes later she has returned with a plate of raw meats and some bread as well as two cups, one with wine and the other with water. She holds the wine and meats towards Sorrel.
"Drinks?"
Sorrel takes the wine and raises the cup to Silvia.
"To whatever the hell is going on in this place. To the battles we fight. And to victory."
"To surviving another day"
Silvia puts her cup down and sits against the wall before pulling a bandana out of her pack and tying it as a makeshift blindfold. After this she begins slowly eating her bread in silence. Sorrel smiles again as Silvia bandages her eyes, but still turns her face away as she wolfs the bloody flesh, revolted and unsatisfied as the final mouthful goes down. She drains her cup.
"You can look now," she says quietly.
"I have to go. I am walking back to Daring Heights tonight. Exhaustion is my friend."
As Silvia undoes the blindfold she looks up
"You don't have to you know, from what I've heard the rooms in this place are free for people like us"
"I don't sleep well these days. But I would like to talk with you again. There is comfort in your eyes and I can see you know so much more of this than me. If you ever have time and are passing the temple, please come and find me. The hospitality is simple but it would be an honour to share it. And..."
she cocks her head to one side and looks Silvia up and down.
"You don't have to come in to the temple. Just tell the priest at the door and I'll come out. Just in case."
"Please, you said you wanted to protect me. I may die of sorrow if I hear that you are being held in a cell. You can take my bed, I'm a very light sleeper and far too used to sleeping on floors to find it comfortable anyway. I'll be sleeping by the door and if anything happens I'll be able to help you. At least consider it, please, you don't deserve to have to sit in a cell"
Sorrel looks away.
"You don't understand. I have to be restrained. I have asked them to keep me in the sealed rooms. It is for the best. And your kindness is breaking my heart and I swear I don't let people see me cry the first time I meet them."
"If it is your wish then I won't stop you, I understand how painful this must be. Let me at least accompany you as you leave, there must be a more discreet exit around this place, I think I saw one whilst moving around earlier"
Silvia stands up at this point and offers a stabilising hand to Sorrel to help ground her. Sorrel accepts gratefully, but keeps her head bowed so Silvia can't see the water that seems to have unaccountably filled her eyes. Smoke from the kitchen no doubt. Silvia leads her to the exit wordlessly and simply gives her a nod as she lets go, although as Sorrel leaves she shouts behind her suddenly.
"It's not your fault, please believe me. You don't deserve this"
Sorrel thinks for a moment.
"I wonder. If I were to try for godhood like our twisted friend tonight and I were then to decide to punish a mercenary who had stolen others lives for money, this is as good a torment as I could devise. I loved once. I lost her. I took a horrible revenge and when that was over I found... I was good at it... and I liked my job. Perhaps I do deserve it. We shall see. But Silvia, you have done a good thing tonight - perhaps a better thing than I have ever done. You have stopped the taking of life not once but twice. I don't know what haunts you, but you were the best of us this evening."
Hours later the party has died down, Silvia sits in her room still awake and stares at her knuckles, the fraying thread peeking through under fresh layers. She sighs and lies down, watching the imps flitting around the ceiling, jeering at her. She wished they would go away, she really could do with some sleep...
