NUTS!! - 20/10/2021 - A Kavel Perspective

Going to the Djinn & Tonic

“To the most daring soldiers of fortune,
We may not have met in person, but I have heard tell of your exploits…”,

This is how the latest adventuring note I saw began. You don’t normally find adventuring notes addressed to you. Normally they are written to invite all adventurers. But, this person, Kaz’zzam, had written that he had heard of Kavel’s exploits. So, I went to meet him.


Tiny Caravan

I walked through the Swamp Gate and into the outer, eastern part of Daring Heights. Outside of the city walls, there was a rather ornate-looking, large caravan. It’s walls were decorated in fancy murals. Trinkets hung off it’s roof. The windows were open and a light shone out of the door. This was the Djinn & Tonic. And in front of it, there were adventurers I recognised.

I greeted Varga and Sabeline who I had not seen since my first adventure here at the Mysterious Mountain. Levuka was there too, sporting the Hat of Vermin she found in the basement of the cultist who attacked us with gross blubber goons. Last but not least Sorrel appeared out of nowhere, as she always does.

These days, whenever I meet with a group of adventurers for a mission, I look around to check if Sorrel will appear to round out the numbers. Sometimes she isn’t there, but when she is - I still never catch her approaching! She greeted Sabeline, who was new to her, with the strong custom of greeting she gave me when we first met. This is a greeting from her ‘House’.

Hmmm. Why does my ‘House’ the Iron Strong Company not have a cool greeting?


Inside the Djinn & Tonic

Varga knocked. The door swung open by itself - magic of course - and we all followed her inside. I waited, letting everyone through first. It was a large caravan, but even so, I wasn’t going to fit inside easily. It seemed best if I stayed at the back and only peered in, leaving space inside for the others. I am strong, yes. But also considerate.

Why did I bother?
Of course it’s a magical place inside! Many times bigger than the outside would indicate. I’ve seen this sort of thing before at Leona Autumn’s Fiore Popolare.

There was a warm, pleasant air to the interior. The air inside filled my nose with mur, cinnamon and tobacco. The space was palatial. Many carpets, many couches, and actually many more windows on the inside than there were outside.

Sat on a couch facing us, a tall blue man with long blue hair greeted us. He offered us drinks and a smoke from his hookah. This was Ka’zzam.

Ka’zzam told us that a distant relation to him, Jakarth, the black sheep of the family, had something he wanted - a memory pearl. Inside the pearl was a memory for Ka’zzam’s grandmother’s vanilla souffle. Our employer admitted the pearl did not belong to him, but he felt the recipe did. There were some discussions on the ethics of stealing the pearl from Jarkarth. But everyone seemed reasonably satisfied that Ka’zzam would return the pearl to Jarkarth, if there were sentimental memories belonging to Jarkarth on the pearl.

Ka’zzam reassured us that his relative had fled his estate. So all we needed to do was; get into the house, find the pearl, and then blow on this windpipe he gave us, and Ka’zzam would bring us back to the Djinn & Tonic. All this, without leaving a clue that we were sent by him. If we succeeded, he would pay us 100gp each.

However, Jarkarth’s home was located in the City of Brass, which was on the Fire Plane. It sounded oppressively warm. Not the sort of climate favoured by mountain-born.

“How will we get there?”, asked comrade Sabeline. To which Ka’zzam responded by filling the room up instantaneously with his hookah’s smoke. When we waved the smoke away. We were no longer in the Djinn & Tonic. We were outside, but the air was much warmer. The light in the sky was intense. We were between two buildings. We were no longer on Kantas soil. In the distance, I could see a river of lava. We had been instantaneously transported to the City of Brass.


The City of Brass

We could identify Jarkarth’s estate from a sign near it’s gate. Between the alley we were in, and the estate was a main round. Sorrel peeped out of our alleyway, and more worryingly could see red ifrit guards. These guards were escorting humanoid prisoners somewhere.

Levuka casted a spell and made it so our very footsteps were light enough to not leave a trace of our presence. Sorrel used magic to disguise herself as one of the ifrit guards. Her idea was for us to look like her captives. Sorrel is close to two feet smaller than me. I voiced my displeasure of the idea that a guard smaller than me could hold me captive. Sorrel made her false appearance a foot taller. This was better. Still too small, but the effort was appreciated.

As Sorrel’s captives, and with Levuka’s magic we walked over to the iron gates of Jarkarth’s estate, which was surrounded by a high obsidian wall.

Levuka brought out a small onyx figurine of a mastiff. She let it drop to the ground and a black mastiff appeared. Never have I not been on an adventure where there were no familiars. And I am now going to suspect all black figurines like this of being magic. Maxi, Levuka’s mastiff could see invisible people.

As we debated whether to pick the lock or climb over the wall, some squirrels jumped from a nearby tree onto the top of the wall. We opted to climb over too. Levuka went first, and had to have a second go. Some sniggering from somewhere could be heard, but Maxi, the mastiff did not see anyone invisible. We all climbed over and landed in the yard, and made our way to the front door.


Discussion at the Door

Inside the compound, we could now see that Jarkarth’s home was a two-storey mansion with a garden that must have been challenging to maintain in this aggressively warm climate.

There were five squirrels lined up at the front door, all of them adorned in various clothing.

Me and Sorrel can speak with animals, so when Maxi informed us that, “there was light on the door. Can I have a treat?” I was ready to convey this to the others. But, it turned out Maxi was actually speaking in Common, rather than dog woofs. So, everyone understood him.

To make myself useful I tried to figure out what the squirrels were up to. In my best Common Squirrel, I said to the five squirrels, “Hello!”

“Why he talking funny?”, one of them said in response. It appeared that the squirrels also spoke Common.

The squirrels told us they were the Acorn Squad and that they were sent by the Harmonious Order in Port Ffirst to retrieve… a pearl. Their order maintains the balance in all things. I had no idea what that meant. They were not interested in searching the place together and coming to an arrangement about the pearl, if it was the same one we were after - it was. They made many references to their professionalism and skills. They were rather arrogant for tiny creatures. Of all the animals here, Maxi was easily my favourite.

They were done talking to us. They formed a squirrel ladder to the keyhole and were suddenly inside. They referred to us as dummies as they said goodbye to us. I wondered what squirrel tasted like.

Maxi mentioned something was blinking, as Varga barged through the door, breaking the lock, as the door flung open. There was a grand stairway up to the second floor. Squirrel tracks went upstairs. Many doors flanked the ground floor, which was decorated with statues of plate armour. One of which came alive.


Fight Inside Jarkarth’s Mansion

…

There was some sad news passing amongst adventurers in the Three Headed Dragon before I left for the Swamp Gate earlier today.

Mr Faust, the old, red tiefling-man that was with me and Sorrel on our disappearing library adventure, had fallen in battle. I did not know him well. But without his generosity, we would not have explored the moving library’s armory, which we only did, because he thought it would interest me. We fought armour that came to life in the armory. Mr Faust was surprisingly combative for an old man. He struck with no weapon of his own. He was in fact, dangerously struck many times. But he fought with his words, which harmed our opponents in magical ways. I do not understand how that worked, but I could see he had skill, and I could see his bravery.

Today, Sorrel and I fought animated armour again. Thoughts of Mr Faust were distracting for me. I guessed maybe Sorrel too. I felt I could track her movements easily this time. In other battles it was a surprise where her arrows would fly from. Varga too, it seemed, was affected.
...


Sorrel, let loose multiple arrows at the armoured guard. Perfect shots, but the armoured guard seemed unfazed. Varga entered a rage and went straight for the armour with flail in hand - this was a new weapon. A few hits amongst several misses. She reassured us she had this.

I was standing near the door to the first room on the left. “Varga, are you sure you have this? I hear you missing”, I said to my fellow barbarian. “I’m good!”, she said. So, I opened the door on the left and found I was in a saloon. No pearls as far as I could see. Back in the corridor, Sabeline was searching the opposite rooms, and behind the stairs I could hear the sound of deep cuts slashing into my half-orc comrade. Levuka cast a wolf spirit that healed some of Varga’s wounds. But, she had many.

Sorrels arrows continued to hit the mark, yet the armour was impenetrable. Varga’s flail left some dents. Both the arrow tips and flail had metal in them. Why was only the flail leaving harmful dents?

I ran past an inanimate armour suit to assist Varga and brought my poleaxe down on the armoured aggressor. I hit it in the leg and the plate in that area tore off, leaving the guard on one leg. Still it persisted and landed killing blows on Varga. Anyone else would have fallen, but Varga, though bleeding fatally, stood strong.

Levuka had adopted the form of a direwolf and bit and clawed our opponent to the ground savagely. The armour ceased movement.

The inanimate armour suit behind me began to move. I took a swing at it, and missed. But Sorrel didn't, and this time her arrows pierced through the chainmail between the plates, wedging themselves in. She must have some special arrows in reserve for opponents like these.

Whilst Varga consumed a healing potion, Levuka casted a healing spell on her, and Sabeline did the same for me, after the new metal golem slashed me repeatedly in response to the poor attacks I attempted on it. I landed much better shots at the armoured suits assisting Mr. Faust. Today though, I was not as effective.

Whatever Levuka did next, it must have been a very strong spell, because the steel golem fell to the ground dead, as if the magic animating it vanished.

“I’ve got it. Let’s bug out!” came a voice from upstairs.

While we were distracted by the guards, The Acorn Squad had found the pearl.

We made for the stairs.

A missed arrow, a poorly swung poleaxe - we were on the move whilst trying to keep a newly active blade golem at bay. Varga, refreshed from healing magic, deftly unstrapped a pair of javelins from her back, one in each hand. This was very dexterous. I wouldn’t have managed that as quickly as her. Both javelins hit and pinned the blade golem in place.

Levuka conjured two pairs of apes to grapple the blade golem, but the blade golem broke free of the attempt and brought Levuka down at the top of the stairs as she ran to join Sabeline who had already reached the master bedroom. Sabeline cast a spell on the squirrel holding the pearl. A last ditch attempt to turn our fortunes around. Alas, the squirrel was not affected. The Acorn Squad were, to be fair, much more cordial in their final departure, as they departed in a magical flash.


The Master Bedroom

I picked up Levuka from the stairs, took a few blows from the golem and Sabeline brought our druid comrade back to consciousness. Varga locked the door to the room, buying us seconds to flip the room before the golem could engage us. We had failed to retrieve the memory pearl. We wanted something for our troubles today. There was a gem on the floor where the squirrels departed. Were they pitying us, or was this from the room? Someone picked it up.

The others entered a room adjacent to the bedroom. I followed. It was the bathroom. Looking on the drawers near the door to the bathroom, were some schematics to a fancy percussive weapon much like my maul. Why not? I grabbed them, retrieved the windpipe from my pocket. The golem burst through the bedroom door, but it was too late. I blew on the windpipe and in a puff of smoke similar to the one that brought us here, we arrived back at the Djinn & Tonic, in front of Ka’zzam.


Failed Mission Debrief

This was depressing.

Ka’zzam, however, did not seem overly fussed. He was intrigued by the Harmonious Order. Disappointed, but not angry and was welcoming of our aid in the future, however, he said it was unlikely he would offer us money again. He is a trader of favours. If he were to employ us again, it would be a favour for a favour.

We showed him the gem and schematics that we did retrieve. He was fine with us keeping them. The gem was worth 250gp. Split five ways, we made 50gp that day. But, not the 100gp we would have had, had we brought Ka’zzam the memory pearl.

We left the Djinn & Tonic disappointed in ourselves.

On the way back to the city. Both me and Varga showed interest in the percussive weapon’s schematics, but as we both had awesome magical weapons, we gave the schematics to Sabeline, who was intrigued to see if she could have the schematics adapted for a mace.

There were no victory drinks today.

When we departed from one another, I made plans to visit the Hung Rabbit with Levuka the following week. Levuka said a leatherworker by the name of Lara would have her brigandine armour finished by then. This itself did not intrigue me, but Levuka mentioned she was there when Alan became a T-Rex for the first time, and that there was a fallen T-Rex when it happened. Levuka acquired some of the hyde. The leather for her brigandine was being made out of T-Rex hyde. Now this interested me.