What're Ya Buyin'? - Varga - 16/06
Jun 22, 2021 12:56:48 GMT
Celina Zabinski, Velania Kalugina, and 1 more like this
Post by Varga on Jun 22, 2021 12:56:48 GMT
The Adventure of the Snow Globe,
In which the bunny drives a hard bargain, transactions get out of hand, and the casserole is full of eels.
We were hired by a bunny to find a snow globe. Not how the ballads of king Obould start, but have to start somewhere, suppose. The bunny, Leapington, has a nice goat and a wagon. Big sign. You know what they say 'bout traders with big wagons and signs. Anyway, the bunny is fancier than all of us. Nothing new here. He wanted a polished stone with water plane essence in it. Said a binder would have it.
Went to the binder. Cleaver made friends with Carnan's wolf. Carnan is a large firbolg. Really knows his druid stuff, too. Knows that Cleaver is a dust bunny, not some silly chinchilla thing those kids in New Hillborough invented. Was good to see Velania, Sparks and Vi again. About time we did something crazy again. New girl, Sorrel, seemed quiet. Always stayed outside. How is one supposed to meet enemies if they don't go inside to meet them? Did offer to back us up, so maybe she's just more used to group fights and ambushes? Can relate.
Binder had a very fancy shop. Does every tiefling here has a shop? Will need to ask Celina. Anyway, he refused to tell us 'bout the rock before we help him paint some leather for the book. Would have fought him for suggesting that, but he wanted chaos, couldn't really say no. I took his best paint tubes and murdered them with my new battle axe, spilling their innards on the leather in the form of the Song to Bahgtru - second stanza is my favorite. I always got low marks for calligraphy, so didn't do too well. My downwards slash in 'desecrate' makes it look like 'devastate'. 'Their devastated temples eternally will lie in ruin'. Yeah, right, the temples will be very upset. Shame. Luckily, nobody else spoke Orc, so no-one noticed.
Carnan blew a breeze of paint on the leather. Sorrel showed up with Ulfr and Cleaver. Half the workshop got destroyed. I underestimated her. That was very chaotic. Then Sparks proposed we all paint butts and sit on the leather. Did his own in blue first. Well, I've seen one thing I'll try to forget now. I tried to make Cleaver do it – he is almost all butt, would have been impressive. He disagreed and ran away. Velania made some infernal scratches on it with metal paint. Others didn't get it, but I saw the shapes of hideous wounds. Always knew she had it in her! Vi just drew circles. Lots, and lots of circles... I felt dizzy, looked away.
The binder didn't have the ball. Sent us to someone called Michael, with lots of books. Turned out to be a gnome woman with an empty shop. The strangest place in Daring Heights. The whole shop. Just empty. There are these little decorative things they put on the doors, the ones everyone always touches before opening it. I didn't even know these were things. Must be some local custom. I was told they're called 'doorknobs' and are for opening doors. Hands, legs, and hammers are for opening doors. These are ornaments.
The gnome didn't have the ball either. Took the books. Sent us to a triton called Old Momma, with a copper pot. Must say, these barter transactions must really be hurting the local monetary policy.
Old Momma wanted help with her crabs. A whole tank of em. All glittery and stuff. Velania must have liked it. The crab leader said there was an eel in the tank. I put my gnome axe into the water to act as lure. It believed it, the stupid fish. Carnan dived into the pool. He wore heavy armor, so I thought it was an interesting way to kill oneself. Didn't die though. Got out of the pool and asked 'Does anyone know where we can get some chocolate cake?' Dunno, I'm more into pies after near-death experiences. But no. He befriended the eel. We took Momma's pot and put an eel in there. Sorrel brought it a cake.
Old Momma sent to the lady with the ball, Miss Deery, the jeweler. Gave us some soup to give her. This economy is going bust in a month, you heed my word. No gold exchanged anywhere. It's almost like back home, but there everyone just raids each other.
I first Miss Deery was a gardener - lots of flowery stuff in her shop. But it's all metal. Best kind of gardener, at least she makes something useful! That said, if she hadn't have the ball and sent us to destroy the financial system of Daring Heights elsewhere, I would have killed her. She earned her life back by having the ball. Made it into a necklace. Even wanted to sell it to the bunny. We escorted her to the market. Velania made a glimmering light, and Sparks made the siren sounds, so was all very official.
We finally got our reward, and the bunny got us trinkets. Mine was a bottle. Would've drunk it, but somebody did it before me – it was empty. Will find who did it and kill them. Otherwise, a charming day to stroll around the city.
In which the bunny drives a hard bargain, transactions get out of hand, and the casserole is full of eels.
We were hired by a bunny to find a snow globe. Not how the ballads of king Obould start, but have to start somewhere, suppose. The bunny, Leapington, has a nice goat and a wagon. Big sign. You know what they say 'bout traders with big wagons and signs. Anyway, the bunny is fancier than all of us. Nothing new here. He wanted a polished stone with water plane essence in it. Said a binder would have it.
Went to the binder. Cleaver made friends with Carnan's wolf. Carnan is a large firbolg. Really knows his druid stuff, too. Knows that Cleaver is a dust bunny, not some silly chinchilla thing those kids in New Hillborough invented. Was good to see Velania, Sparks and Vi again. About time we did something crazy again. New girl, Sorrel, seemed quiet. Always stayed outside. How is one supposed to meet enemies if they don't go inside to meet them? Did offer to back us up, so maybe she's just more used to group fights and ambushes? Can relate.
Binder had a very fancy shop. Does every tiefling here has a shop? Will need to ask Celina. Anyway, he refused to tell us 'bout the rock before we help him paint some leather for the book. Would have fought him for suggesting that, but he wanted chaos, couldn't really say no. I took his best paint tubes and murdered them with my new battle axe, spilling their innards on the leather in the form of the Song to Bahgtru - second stanza is my favorite. I always got low marks for calligraphy, so didn't do too well. My downwards slash in 'desecrate' makes it look like 'devastate'. 'Their devastated temples eternally will lie in ruin'. Yeah, right, the temples will be very upset. Shame. Luckily, nobody else spoke Orc, so no-one noticed.
Carnan blew a breeze of paint on the leather. Sorrel showed up with Ulfr and Cleaver. Half the workshop got destroyed. I underestimated her. That was very chaotic. Then Sparks proposed we all paint butts and sit on the leather. Did his own in blue first. Well, I've seen one thing I'll try to forget now. I tried to make Cleaver do it – he is almost all butt, would have been impressive. He disagreed and ran away. Velania made some infernal scratches on it with metal paint. Others didn't get it, but I saw the shapes of hideous wounds. Always knew she had it in her! Vi just drew circles. Lots, and lots of circles... I felt dizzy, looked away.
The binder didn't have the ball. Sent us to someone called Michael, with lots of books. Turned out to be a gnome woman with an empty shop. The strangest place in Daring Heights. The whole shop. Just empty. There are these little decorative things they put on the doors, the ones everyone always touches before opening it. I didn't even know these were things. Must be some local custom. I was told they're called 'doorknobs' and are for opening doors. Hands, legs, and hammers are for opening doors. These are ornaments.
The gnome didn't have the ball either. Took the books. Sent us to a triton called Old Momma, with a copper pot. Must say, these barter transactions must really be hurting the local monetary policy.
Old Momma wanted help with her crabs. A whole tank of em. All glittery and stuff. Velania must have liked it. The crab leader said there was an eel in the tank. I put my gnome axe into the water to act as lure. It believed it, the stupid fish. Carnan dived into the pool. He wore heavy armor, so I thought it was an interesting way to kill oneself. Didn't die though. Got out of the pool and asked 'Does anyone know where we can get some chocolate cake?' Dunno, I'm more into pies after near-death experiences. But no. He befriended the eel. We took Momma's pot and put an eel in there. Sorrel brought it a cake.
Old Momma sent to the lady with the ball, Miss Deery, the jeweler. Gave us some soup to give her. This economy is going bust in a month, you heed my word. No gold exchanged anywhere. It's almost like back home, but there everyone just raids each other.
I first Miss Deery was a gardener - lots of flowery stuff in her shop. But it's all metal. Best kind of gardener, at least she makes something useful! That said, if she hadn't have the ball and sent us to destroy the financial system of Daring Heights elsewhere, I would have killed her. She earned her life back by having the ball. Made it into a necklace. Even wanted to sell it to the bunny. We escorted her to the market. Velania made a glimmering light, and Sparks made the siren sounds, so was all very official.
We finally got our reward, and the bunny got us trinkets. Mine was a bottle. Would've drunk it, but somebody did it before me – it was empty. Will find who did it and kill them. Otherwise, a charming day to stroll around the city.
