Carnival at Dusk - Varga - 01/06/2021

The letter on what appears to be a napkin from an inn found with a completely terrified halfling close to a Faerun's port closest to Kantas. The halfling was incapable of talking in any known language, and the port authorities have expropriated the letter, hoping it would shed the light on his identity. He appeared to simply having been the messenger, as the letter was written with dwarf runes in orc language, and the handwriting was barely legible. The letter read: 


Dear Dad,


Haven't been writing so far. Not sorry. Hard to find an idiot to deliver a letter to orcs. 
Doing well in Kantas. You should come visit. The fort here is completely undefended and the guards in the port are useless. You'd have fun.
Learned to fight with two larger axes. Not as big as yours, but still big.
Found some friends. Don’t worry, I'm not keeping a bad company - they all fight well. Even the paladins. They use shields - yes. But one constantly forgets it and fights like uncle Grom. Another rides a cool horse. And the third one covers everyone with silver glitter. Adding insult to injury is very cruel. Also met a bard, she plays bagpipes. Lulling enemies into a false sense of hilarity. Very smart.
Last week we went to a Carnival. It's where you go from one place to another, loot them, and everyone runs around all excited. Like a siege, but you leave the buildings standing. And then other people can loot them, too. It's a strange concept. But it was pretty: everything was all black and white, displacer beasts everywhere, some people might have been eaten. Really reminded me of home. [crude picture of either a splintered plate or a grinning orc. Might just be a coffee stain] 
We pillaged a mirror and got nice scarves out of it. Also mugged a couple of merchants and took their stuffed animals. All it took was a couple of shots from a bow and a couple of hammer hits on a pole that goes 'ding' when you hit it.
I challenged a tree to a fight. It didn't fight back. Coward. Also killed a dis paper beast. Like a displacer beast, but made out of paper. 
I know auntie Marge will ask, so - no, I haven't conquered anything yet. I'm only 24, I've got time. Tell her to leave me alone.
Also found a pet. It's a dust bunny with eyes. Named him Cleaver. He clings to every knife and axe he finds, so it must be his name. Useful pet. He looks pathetic, nobody would suspect him. But very nimble. I will train him to bring death to our enemies. And to roll over. He's terribly cute.
That's about it from me. How're things back home? How's mom's business going? Sold lots of axes lately? And has Gurukk finally completed his Dwarf Run this year or are you going to be pillaging caravans for him forever?



Hate and curses,

Varga.


On the back of the napkin, there was an even cruder looking message that can easily be mistaken for an angry toddler staining paper with a piece of coal. Apparently, a reply:

Idiot delivered letter. Will check out Carnivor. Home fine. Have a nice loot kid.