Post by Blaze on Sept 24, 2020 17:56:58 GMT
Ok, I don't do this often but Big Boi needs a name change. Turns out they come bigger. Ox Brain has been smashing his head against ceilings and door frames all day. So as of right now Big Boi is gonna be Soft Scales.
What seems to be turning into standard practise, I'm in the Seashank and a bunch of extras turn up looking for a job. There's a mine near by that wants protection for a delivery. Soft Scales was already in the tavern with me and the beast that is Ox Brain joins us soon after making himself comfy around half the table. Blabbermouth comes in and pulls up a chair near by but not too close to be involved in the conversation...you know the usual chatter box she is. Then there's Clutz and Dunce Face.
Once everyone has got a word in at the mine, trying to get better rates out of the old miser who runs the place. We FINALLY set off for Daring Heights.
So it's our rabble, some guy who works for the mine, the cart, the precious cargo and some poor mule to drag the thing through the swamp.
Nothing's easy though is it? There's a sodding bridge out. Clutz recons that it was tampered with so I'm on high alert cus nothing says ambush quite like a bridge out. Manage to persuade everyone to stay with the cart, keep it all together and help drag it through the water to get to the otherside. Blabbermouth is more bothered by the state of the bloody mule than the prospect of someone's back giving out.
Then for some reason we allow Ox Brain to sort out the camp for the night (took too fucking long with the bridge out to get this done quick). Which predictably is an awful spot, the fire barely stays lit and everyone's bedding is damp before they manage to get to sleep.
So the next day is off to a brilliant start, I'm tired, I'm pissed off, Clutz won't stop talking to me?! She thinks we're gonna be best friends or something cus we're both related to fire in some way. Urgh. THEN the fucking axel brakes on the cart!
And one of these idiots thinks they should get under this incredibly heavy cart that is slowing sinking into the quagmire to fix it?! Fucking nipped that in the bud.
It gets fixed we move on, but this has put us behind schedule AGAIN, so we have another delighful night in the swamp to look forward to. Lucky for us Blabbermouth makes a mean mushroom stew, so at least there's something...
That's when Dunce Face decides it is the perfect time for him to open his stupid mouth and ask me, ME! to help out with the fire that HE is supposed to be building because he volunteered to set up the camp tonight. The guy who has been doing fuck and all with his day other than having a pleasant stroll by the cart, while I have been scouting ahead; making sure this shit parade actually makes it to Daring Heights in one fucking piece. And he has the audacity to ask me to contribute to the fire because and I quote "your hair is made of fire, could you not just lean over and..." are you fucking kidding me!?! Not only have I done my job for the day and want to chill out for a bit but the level of racial insensitivity, I just ! *here note is singed*
Anyway.
Next day we head off once again. We're on the last leg of the journey, which you know, means more sodding shenanigans. Some frog people show up (they've been communicating the whole time we've been in the swamp if you listen) and they look like they might want to mess with us. So I'm seeing an opportunity to get rid of some of this here anger before I end up destroying one of my "companions".
Clutz pipes up asking if any of us speak frog. So I promptly shout out "Fuck Off" doesn't seem to work, but I feel better for it.
She proceeds to talk and talk and hand over an axe. Works out they want metal to fight the clan from the south.
Ox Brain hands over his helmet minus the horns.
The frog people look confused at the ease of this.They ain't the only ones.
They look like they still might try to jump us but now with a weapon that Clutz just GAVE them.
I mention that they got what they wanted, some metal, for free I might add. They decide that this is more a trading thing and hand over a necklace and some squiggy orb thing. Then head on their way...
I still have no idea how the actual fuck Clutz managed to turn what was going to be a fight into...whatever that was...
We get to Daring Heights meet up with Red, hand over the goods and he points us in the direction of the Ettin for a drink and hopefully a decent nights sleep.
I swear to Dol I better be left alone in this tavern.
Gauntlet Blaze
Blaze
What seems to be turning into standard practise, I'm in the Seashank and a bunch of extras turn up looking for a job. There's a mine near by that wants protection for a delivery. Soft Scales was already in the tavern with me and the beast that is Ox Brain joins us soon after making himself comfy around half the table. Blabbermouth comes in and pulls up a chair near by but not too close to be involved in the conversation...you know the usual chatter box she is. Then there's Clutz and Dunce Face.
Once everyone has got a word in at the mine, trying to get better rates out of the old miser who runs the place. We FINALLY set off for Daring Heights.
So it's our rabble, some guy who works for the mine, the cart, the precious cargo and some poor mule to drag the thing through the swamp.
Nothing's easy though is it? There's a sodding bridge out. Clutz recons that it was tampered with so I'm on high alert cus nothing says ambush quite like a bridge out. Manage to persuade everyone to stay with the cart, keep it all together and help drag it through the water to get to the otherside. Blabbermouth is more bothered by the state of the bloody mule than the prospect of someone's back giving out.
Then for some reason we allow Ox Brain to sort out the camp for the night (took too fucking long with the bridge out to get this done quick). Which predictably is an awful spot, the fire barely stays lit and everyone's bedding is damp before they manage to get to sleep.
So the next day is off to a brilliant start, I'm tired, I'm pissed off, Clutz won't stop talking to me?! She thinks we're gonna be best friends or something cus we're both related to fire in some way. Urgh. THEN the fucking axel brakes on the cart!
And one of these idiots thinks they should get under this incredibly heavy cart that is slowing sinking into the quagmire to fix it?! Fucking nipped that in the bud.
It gets fixed we move on, but this has put us behind schedule AGAIN, so we have another delighful night in the swamp to look forward to. Lucky for us Blabbermouth makes a mean mushroom stew, so at least there's something...
That's when Dunce Face decides it is the perfect time for him to open his stupid mouth and ask me, ME! to help out with the fire that HE is supposed to be building because he volunteered to set up the camp tonight. The guy who has been doing fuck and all with his day other than having a pleasant stroll by the cart, while I have been scouting ahead; making sure this shit parade actually makes it to Daring Heights in one fucking piece. And he has the audacity to ask me to contribute to the fire because and I quote "your hair is made of fire, could you not just lean over and..." are you fucking kidding me!?! Not only have I done my job for the day and want to chill out for a bit but the level of racial insensitivity, I just ! *here note is singed*
Anyway.
Next day we head off once again. We're on the last leg of the journey, which you know, means more sodding shenanigans. Some frog people show up (they've been communicating the whole time we've been in the swamp if you listen) and they look like they might want to mess with us. So I'm seeing an opportunity to get rid of some of this here anger before I end up destroying one of my "companions".
Clutz pipes up asking if any of us speak frog. So I promptly shout out "Fuck Off" doesn't seem to work, but I feel better for it.
She proceeds to talk and talk and hand over an axe. Works out they want metal to fight the clan from the south.
Ox Brain hands over his helmet minus the horns.
The frog people look confused at the ease of this.
I mention that they got what they wanted, some metal, for free I might add. They decide that this is more a trading thing and hand over a necklace and some squiggy orb thing. Then head on their way...
I still have no idea how the actual fuck Clutz managed to turn what was going to be a fight into...whatever that was...
We get to Daring Heights meet up with Red, hand over the goods and he points us in the direction of the Ettin for a drink and hopefully a decent nights sleep.
I swear to Dol I better be left alone in this tavern.
Blaze
