Crying Wolf (2/4) - Jaezred Vandree
Apr 7, 2020 10:47:02 GMT
Markas Virnala, Ian (Menace), and 3 more like this
Post by Jaezred Vandree on Apr 7, 2020 10:47:02 GMT
Wolf Steak Recipe
By Lord Jaezred Vandree
INGREDIENTS:
INSTRUCTIONS:
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
This week's recipe is simple, but inspired. The sprinklings of the idea first came to me when I saw a notice for help at the Three-Headed Ettin public house in Daring Heights, written in something called "crayons". The notice spoke of a large wolf terrorising a small settlement called Bloody Creek at the edge of the Angelbark Woods. Seeing an opportunity to harvest direwolf meat and do a little sightseeing at the same time, I agreed to condescend to help to these useless surface-dwellers, accompanied by a motley crew of a half-giant, an angelborn cleric, an ax-wielding gnome, and a bugbear who claims to have a name. (Hilarious.)
When we arrived at the village, we were informed that the notice was, in fact, written by a child and no one else believed the wolf was anything but imaginary, though my companions and I doubted that. Nevertheless, we set out to investigate the woods at nighttime and lo and behold! A man was attacked and killed in the settlement whilst we were away. The angelborn performed a ritual to speak to the corpse, and from its answers, we began to fear that this was the work of an undead creature. We followed the blood trail left by the assault, leading back into the forest. Partway through the journey, I sensed that we had walked out of the forest -- nay, the Material Plane -- and into somewhere else: the Shadowfell.
There, we happened upon a cave that served as the lair of a monstrously large black wolf, reeking of blood and death. It spoke to us in a curiously intelligent manner before baring its fangs and claws. We slew it, of course -- all thanks to me -- but alas, its body vanished into mist not long after it fell. And thus I returned empty-handed but for some measly amount of gold and a lousy bowl of sauerkraut from the Sauerkraut Tavern (it should rightly be called the Lousy Sauerkraut Tavern). But, praise be to Lolth, this story does not end sadly as I had successfully pestered my half-breed cousin into hunting some regular wolves for me to test this recipe with.
As the kids say, "stay tuned" for next week's recipe, and bon appetit.
Garlic-butter steak recipe courtesy of TasteofHome.
Disclaimer: Please do not eat wolves in real life. Unless you really have to.
By Lord Jaezred Vandree
INGREDIENTS:
- 3/4 lbs of wolf tenderloin meat
- 1/8 teaspoon of salt
- 1/8 teaspoon of sugar
- 2 tablespoons of butter
- 1/2 teaspoon of minced garlic
- 1/4 teaspoon of soy sauce
- 1 teaspoon of minced fresh parsley
INSTRUCTIONS:
- Mix garlic, parsley, soy sauce with 1 tablespoon of butter together.
- Season wolf meat with salt and pepper.
- Heat the remaining tablespoon of butter on the skillet over medium heat, then add the meat. Cook until desired doneness (medium rare recommended).
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
This week's recipe is simple, but inspired. The sprinklings of the idea first came to me when I saw a notice for help at the Three-Headed Ettin public house in Daring Heights, written in something called "crayons". The notice spoke of a large wolf terrorising a small settlement called Bloody Creek at the edge of the Angelbark Woods. Seeing an opportunity to harvest direwolf meat and do a little sightseeing at the same time, I agreed to condescend to help to these useless surface-dwellers, accompanied by a motley crew of a half-giant, an angelborn cleric, an ax-wielding gnome, and a bugbear who claims to have a name. (Hilarious.)
When we arrived at the village, we were informed that the notice was, in fact, written by a child and no one else believed the wolf was anything but imaginary, though my companions and I doubted that. Nevertheless, we set out to investigate the woods at nighttime and lo and behold! A man was attacked and killed in the settlement whilst we were away. The angelborn performed a ritual to speak to the corpse, and from its answers, we began to fear that this was the work of an undead creature. We followed the blood trail left by the assault, leading back into the forest. Partway through the journey, I sensed that we had walked out of the forest -- nay, the Material Plane -- and into somewhere else: the Shadowfell.
There, we happened upon a cave that served as the lair of a monstrously large black wolf, reeking of blood and death. It spoke to us in a curiously intelligent manner before baring its fangs and claws. We slew it, of course -- all thanks to me -- but alas, its body vanished into mist not long after it fell. And thus I returned empty-handed but for some measly amount of gold and a lousy bowl of sauerkraut from the Sauerkraut Tavern (it should rightly be called the Lousy Sauerkraut Tavern). But, praise be to Lolth, this story does not end sadly as I had successfully pestered my half-breed cousin into hunting some regular wolves for me to test this recipe with.
As the kids say, "stay tuned" for next week's recipe, and bon appetit.
Garlic-butter steak recipe courtesy of TasteofHome.
Disclaimer: Please do not eat wolves in real life. Unless you really have to.
