Here And Back Again - Wil Frozendagger - 17.03.20
Mar 22, 2020 21:14:58 GMT
Queen Merla, the Sun-Blessed likes this
Post by Wil Frozendagger on Mar 22, 2020 21:14:58 GMT
"Now do you see why I hate the Feywild?!"
"You didn't seem to-"
"Nononononono, we're not doing this!" Wil waggled a finger at the small watery figure sitting on the bed next to him, who had only recently roused from their apparent slumber. They found themselves back in their regular room in the Seashank, with no apparent sign as to how they got back there. Wil began to pace around the room, becoming increasingly more incandescent with each step. "We're not doing the whole 'you looked like you were having fun' thing today!".
"But-"
"Look, fine, I took advantage of the situation, sure, but that does not mean I like the Feywild any more than I did, or at all for that matter!"
The Water Guardian evaporated into mist before coalescing onto the table in the room to face Wil, her form reconstituting itself into the vaguely feminine figure it usually took. "I fail to understand your quarrel with the plane. It all seemed rather whimsical to me."
"No, see, that's exactly the problem. Nothing's real over there. It's all illusions and tricks and games and jokes, like with those fucking pixies! You remember that, right when we teleported in and they used all that magic to make it seem like we were falling to our deaths?! I made my fucking peace just to be met with those flying fucks! The fear of death ain't funny, take it from someone that's actually done it, and yet that's their idea of a good time, and yet suddenly I'm the bad guy for threatening the same?! Fuck, by the laws of my people I am well within my rights to exact justice there but no, I have to sit there and grin and laugh because that's just that wacky Feywild for you! Their trees aren't trees, they're sculptures, their arguments are trivial, their wars are just demonstrations and that ambush was particularly pathetic but I guess the goat dude had something to do with that. Like, nothing is serious, nothing carries any weight, so everything is at its extremes and that's just taken as normal and okay and everything is just a prank, until it suddenly isn't. And it's fucked up."
The elemental lay silent, not entirely expecting the sudden diatribe from the boy.
"Look, I'll give credit where it's due, goatman, whatever his name is-"
"I believe it was Kruxeral-"
"Yeah, Sheryl's squeeze, which by the way I did not need to know about! I mean, you build up an image of someone, something innocent, you know? And then something else comes along and completely blows that apart, like whoa! Oh shit, the size difference..." Wil clasped his head with his hands as his eyes widened.
The Water Guardian tilted her head somewhat, the fluid swirling very slightly. "I'm afraid I don't follow... Despite the differences in our statures we are still good companions to each other, are we not?"
"That is so not what I'm talking about right now! Let's just drop that..." Wil took some breaths as he attempted to compose himself once more, taking a seat opposite the Water Guardian, resting an arm over the back of the chair. "Anyway, dude knows how to have a half-decent time, that hunt was pretty wild, don't you think?"
"Hmm... while I did enjoy us standing at the same height at last, for us to go riding of all things, it was positively delightful right up until you ruined the mood with your infernal screeching!"
"The fuck are you talking about, ruining the mood? How else was I going to get the deer to scatter?"
"Hmph. Never mind. It doesn't matter anymore." The Water Guardian made a show of turning away from Wil and sitting down at the edge of the table away from him.
"...Oookay...? Anyhow, that was cool and all, but I was getting fed up with the Feywild, so when we rocked up to that festival thing there was only one thing on my mind."
"The pursuit of inebriation-"
"Getting fucking wasted, exactly! Look, I was done, okay? I thought hey, might as well have some more fun while I'm here. Arkadius knew the score too, can always rely on him to drink up something fierce. We eventually got to where the big lady was, their queen or whatever, and then not only did Sheryl turn out to be her daughter but that queen made everyone pretend they didn't know her, which again, is fucked up! That is not a joke, to be forgotten is worse than it is to die, and that's their idea of humour?! Fuck that! Anyway, things get blurry for me here but I know that Sheryl pissed her mother dearest off at one point because 1. I was born and raised in a port town, even when I'm blind stinking drunk I know when a storm is rolling in and 2. I was raised by the strongest woman I have ever known, and when I saw those eyes it was like I was back home getting a bollocking all over again, believe you me! Like, I don't know who this Sunday or whatever is but the very mention of them really ticked the queen off! And then..."
"And then?"
"And then we're here and I didn't ask about the bloody Traverse Master, fuck! I'm going to have to go there again, aren't I? Yep, fuck fuck fuck, until further fucking notice fuck the Feywild! I'm going to go practice sword drills, ugh!"
As Wil, incensed once more, strode to pick up his sword and leave the room, the Water Guardian floated over to his shoulder. "May I request something?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Do you think it is possible to find a way to shrink yourself again, or maybe make myself bigger? It's just that I did enjoy it so and yearn to do it again..."
"...I'll see what I can do."
The elemental swirled with delight as Wil left the room.
"You didn't seem to-"
"Nononononono, we're not doing this!" Wil waggled a finger at the small watery figure sitting on the bed next to him, who had only recently roused from their apparent slumber. They found themselves back in their regular room in the Seashank, with no apparent sign as to how they got back there. Wil began to pace around the room, becoming increasingly more incandescent with each step. "We're not doing the whole 'you looked like you were having fun' thing today!".
"But-"
"Look, fine, I took advantage of the situation, sure, but that does not mean I like the Feywild any more than I did, or at all for that matter!"
The Water Guardian evaporated into mist before coalescing onto the table in the room to face Wil, her form reconstituting itself into the vaguely feminine figure it usually took. "I fail to understand your quarrel with the plane. It all seemed rather whimsical to me."
"No, see, that's exactly the problem. Nothing's real over there. It's all illusions and tricks and games and jokes, like with those fucking pixies! You remember that, right when we teleported in and they used all that magic to make it seem like we were falling to our deaths?! I made my fucking peace just to be met with those flying fucks! The fear of death ain't funny, take it from someone that's actually done it, and yet that's their idea of a good time, and yet suddenly I'm the bad guy for threatening the same?! Fuck, by the laws of my people I am well within my rights to exact justice there but no, I have to sit there and grin and laugh because that's just that wacky Feywild for you! Their trees aren't trees, they're sculptures, their arguments are trivial, their wars are just demonstrations and that ambush was particularly pathetic but I guess the goat dude had something to do with that. Like, nothing is serious, nothing carries any weight, so everything is at its extremes and that's just taken as normal and okay and everything is just a prank, until it suddenly isn't. And it's fucked up."
The elemental lay silent, not entirely expecting the sudden diatribe from the boy.
"Look, I'll give credit where it's due, goatman, whatever his name is-"
"I believe it was Kruxeral-"
"Yeah, Sheryl's squeeze, which by the way I did not need to know about! I mean, you build up an image of someone, something innocent, you know? And then something else comes along and completely blows that apart, like whoa! Oh shit, the size difference..." Wil clasped his head with his hands as his eyes widened.
The Water Guardian tilted her head somewhat, the fluid swirling very slightly. "I'm afraid I don't follow... Despite the differences in our statures we are still good companions to each other, are we not?"
"That is so not what I'm talking about right now! Let's just drop that..." Wil took some breaths as he attempted to compose himself once more, taking a seat opposite the Water Guardian, resting an arm over the back of the chair. "Anyway, dude knows how to have a half-decent time, that hunt was pretty wild, don't you think?"
"Hmm... while I did enjoy us standing at the same height at last, for us to go riding of all things, it was positively delightful right up until you ruined the mood with your infernal screeching!"
"The fuck are you talking about, ruining the mood? How else was I going to get the deer to scatter?"
"Hmph. Never mind. It doesn't matter anymore." The Water Guardian made a show of turning away from Wil and sitting down at the edge of the table away from him.
"...Oookay...? Anyhow, that was cool and all, but I was getting fed up with the Feywild, so when we rocked up to that festival thing there was only one thing on my mind."
"The pursuit of inebriation-"
"Getting fucking wasted, exactly! Look, I was done, okay? I thought hey, might as well have some more fun while I'm here. Arkadius knew the score too, can always rely on him to drink up something fierce. We eventually got to where the big lady was, their queen or whatever, and then not only did Sheryl turn out to be her daughter but that queen made everyone pretend they didn't know her, which again, is fucked up! That is not a joke, to be forgotten is worse than it is to die, and that's their idea of humour?! Fuck that! Anyway, things get blurry for me here but I know that Sheryl pissed her mother dearest off at one point because 1. I was born and raised in a port town, even when I'm blind stinking drunk I know when a storm is rolling in and 2. I was raised by the strongest woman I have ever known, and when I saw those eyes it was like I was back home getting a bollocking all over again, believe you me! Like, I don't know who this Sunday or whatever is but the very mention of them really ticked the queen off! And then..."
"And then?"
"And then we're here and I didn't ask about the bloody Traverse Master, fuck! I'm going to have to go there again, aren't I? Yep, fuck fuck fuck, until further fucking notice fuck the Feywild! I'm going to go practice sword drills, ugh!"
As Wil, incensed once more, strode to pick up his sword and leave the room, the Water Guardian floated over to his shoulder. "May I request something?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Do you think it is possible to find a way to shrink yourself again, or maybe make myself bigger? It's just that I did enjoy it so and yearn to do it again..."
"...I'll see what I can do."
The elemental swirled with delight as Wil left the room.
