S13 Finale: Squid wiv a guitar - 5/12/2023 - Ronkk's account

Dwarves. Am i rite?

tough lil fellas, good in a scrap. not so good at fighting squidfaces in their own home though.

...well, in fairness, there was quite a lot of squidfaces, and a brain dragon, and some lil brain thingies, and lotsa squiddy slaves runnin about, and some other stuff. Point is, they needed a hand. when they shouted, a load of us adventurerers went to go give em a boost of muscle.

rite off the get go, me and a specially selected elite few were tasked, not with fighting the hoards of squids, nor the great big dragon, but wiv the most important of tasks...

savin the day.

don get me wrong, fighting some big baddies and stuff sounded fun an all, but this wernt the time to be all about muscles. we was chosen for our brains, and how good were were at finkin and stuff.

so leadin the way, i personally handpicked a group of the toughest, most daring and courageous of adventererers. there was me, yinyangis, amirillian, and hendri, all tasked wiv finding this super powerful dwarfs house, and making sure it was kept safe. failure to do so would destroy the city and the people within. whilst most everyone else was down in caves, or by the gates fightin hand to hand, we was doin the important work of keepin the dead dwarfs fightin. 

dead dwarfs fightin? i shit you not, turns out this powerful dwarf had a magic thing in his house that kept the dead alive to continue the defense of the city. pretty cool rite?

anyways, we set off, all stelthy like, had a few distractions along the way, but we couldnt allow ourselves to be side tracked from our special opperation. eventually we got to the house, and i went in to have a wee nosey, all quiet like.

lotsa clay baddies, apparently this dwarf had laid traps in his garden, and a bunch of the squidfaces servants got turned into stupid lookin pots. it was weird cause they was under this really pretty sky. Yingyangis told me its wot the fey wild looks like. not too keen on the topic of that place, but i gotta admit, it didnt look bad. apparently it was a magic sky. i dunno man. magic skys dont really sit rite. anyways...

the house was just at the other end of the garden. and inside i saw more baddies. squidfaces servants again, this time not clay, but very much alive. I got the others over, and we went balls deep into a fight. it was so beautiful. seeing them try and fight us off was cute. they tried to make everythin dark. but i hate dark. cant see nuffin, so i made it go away. stupid dark, not that im scared of it or nuffin. amirillian was good at shoutin at them and stuff, plus he splashed some glitter on em or sumfin which made em real easy to see. hendri kept doing these cool bolts of energy and stuff in their faces which was funny as fuck to watch. and ying did me a favour when he let me know one was invisible, so i could dodge his axe. in a nutshell, we left em looking like the bottom of a rat catchers mallet. it was super squelchy in there when we was done.

we headed upstairs, and found a room full of instruments. didnt seem odd to me, but apparently this dwarfen lot aint big on music, and this seemed out of place to my team mates. i kicked the door off cause i fuckin hate doors. then we went into the last room, and i saw sumfin i did not expect at all. a fuckin squidface playing a red guitar at a portal. not a sentence i thought id say, and i fink of lotsa stuff to say. happens all the time.

he was tryin to stop the magic portal thing from workin, so that all the dead dwarves would be, well, dead again. we couldnt let that happen. they was wot was keepin the fight going, along with some other brave adventurerers. if it wernt for the dead but not dead dwarves, one of our lot from the dawnlands coulda died or had their brains turned all stupid or sumthin. couldnt let that happen.

we figured out that this magic dwarf bloke had designed this door to be opened by playin music at it. squiddy werent playin the song quite right, so was strugglin, heh. he sent some more of his servant blokes after us, but i stunned twoo of em wiv my new spell, and hendri and ying got the other guy. amirillian figured out that if the rite song opened the door, then we should play it outta key to shut it. so we did. fuck wiv threee bards when it comes to music, and you see wot happens. we played so bad the fucking door exploded in ol squiddies face. it was well pleasin. even herni managed to toot a little too in a bugle i found for him.

so basically, it was us. the unsung heros. unsung, hehe, bards.... who saved the day. once again, ronkk the mytee worrior and company nearly single handedly kept vorsthouse safe. not that anyone knows it really. and those who did would probably just laugh. after all... kiling a dragon, or hoards of baddies sounds much cooler than explodin a door on a guitar playin squids face by singin a song bad.

no matter though, im well good at being humble and modest. in fact, not many people come close to being how modest i am, so its all in a days dooin.