P.

(Following after the events of Goblin Engineering 101. See also The Woman In Blue.)

“Now, what is the meaning of this?”

Stepping into the chapel of Eilistraee with Imryll by his side, Jaezred looks at the three people in there who presumably had been the ones to summon them. Zola Oussviir outfitted in her adamantine armour, Sarin Aleannder in a loincloth (thankfully), and a male goblin he doesn’t recognise, sporting a shaved head and finely-made yet simple clothes.

Then his gaze lands on a chest sitting near the altar, open and near-overflowing with stone tokens with a familiar symbol on each of them.


“Oh, dear gods.”

He strides forward, quickly waving a hand and muttering an incantation to divine any magic present in the chest. The tokens give off the same signature as the dark gemstones that had been found across the Witching Court — faint hints of necromancy that feel passive and inert, as if the magic is inactive at this current moment.

The goblin gives Jaezred a quizzical look. “Are you with the court? Zola suggested there was something dangerous about these tokens.”

“Um, Lord Jaezred,” Zola says. “This is Urk Surk, he runs an entertainment business in Daring Heights. Urk, this is Lord Jaezred and Lady Imryll, they are—”

“Servants of Queen Nicnevin,” Jaezred cuts in, speaking the Moonweaver’s name with purpose, knowing that she will hear him and listen in. He turns away from the chest and towards Urk. “Yes indeed, Mr. Surk, these things are more nefarious than they look. Where did you acquire these?”

“From a sponsor of ours. The entertainment business is pretty hard and we need to get the help where we can, especially when we sometimes get adventurers coming in and being heavy-handed. We wasn’t aware of any danger with them though, we’ve been using them as prizes for a couple months now and no one has ever said anything until Zola saw them. Are you sure they are dangerous?”

“They will not cause bodily harm to anyone, if that is what you’re concerned about. However, they are the creation of a dangerous necromancer wanted for several heinous crimes in this realm. She is using them for some purpose.”

“Novan?” Urk seems genuinely surprised. “But I don’t understand. She’s always been helpful and friendly with us… She even healed up Shirk’s leg a few weeks back. Are you sure we’re talking about the same person? You got a picture?”

Jaezred turns his left palm up and conjures an illusory image of the woman in blue.

“Huh… Well, that’s Novan, yeah,” the goblin says uneasily as he stares at the image. “What exactly has she done?”

“If you want me to list them all, then we’d be here for days.”

His brow furrows deeply. He seems to be trying to come to terms with what, to him, is very conflicting information.

“I’m sorry… You said she healed Shirk’s leg? Who is that exactly?” Imryll asks.

“My cousin. They help with the games we run. She fell off the rigging and broke her leg. We were lucky Novan was already there to help… You— You don’t think she had something to do with that too, do you?”

“Maybe, maybe not,” Jaezred answers. “She is quite the opportunist, this Novan Pendarvis. She’s taking advantage of you and your troupe with a façade of friendliness.”

“Hmmm… And how dangerous are these?” Urk points to the stones in the chest. “I’d hate to think we’ve been giving out something dangerous. They were supposed to be good luck charms, paper weights…”

“We’ll have to take these in for examination. And you need to give us a list of all the people you have given them to, Mr. Surk.”

“Well… I don’t think… I can probably work out most of them, but not everyone. We’ve had them for months now, everyone who has come through has taken one.”

“That’s fine. Anything at all helps.”

“Of course. I’ll have Zirk bring our books over for you… Sometimes people leave nice comments and sign them off… What, uh… What are we supposed to do now, though? We never had a specific arrangement with Novan, she just came round every now and then, dropped off some stock and helped us out in exchange with whatever we were working on at the time. What do we do if she comes back? What am I supposed to tell my family here? They all look up to her, it will be hard to convince them she isn’t what she seems so far.”

“Well, when was she last with you?” says Imryll.

“Couple weeks ago, just before we started planning the work here.”

“And how often does she visit?”

He thinks for a moment, “Was probably about a month before we saw her before that?”

“So, I think it’s fair to say she won’t be due for at least another couple of weeks,” Imryll concludes. “Presuming she is as prepared this time as she has been other times, we can’t rule out that she’s been watching the whole time either…”

“Maybe…” Urk looks slightly unsure. “I’m…well, a bit shocked, to be honest.”

“She’s in Daring Heights. She’s been there this whole time,” Jaezred mutters. “How much is she paying you for the sponsorship?”

“Nothing… It was more of a fluid arrangement. She would help us out with most anything we needed help with at the time. We’re practical, sir, but not magically gifted. She has saved us weeks worth of work, repaired our equipment… Shirk’s leg… We could use the money, of course, but I’m not so narrow-minded to think there is no value in other arrangements. If we cannot rely on her help anymore, though, that will make things harder for us.”

Jaezred looks at Imryll. “Do you think she’ll still come and visit them?”

“Hmm… Perhaps? No, maybe not. She has been clever and well prepared so far, it would feel like a silly oversight to assume she isn’t now, meaning she likely already knows the game is up. It wouldn’t hurt to have some insurance in place, however, if I’m wrong… Urk, how willing would you be to inform on her for us, assuming she does make a return?”

Urk puts up his arms and his face takes on a worried expression. “Now, miss, I don’t want to cause any trouble… If she is as dangerous as you say, I don’t want to bring her attention to the family.”

“No, of course not. I suggest a more subtle manner, just an alarm of some sort, in case she does show up again.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know…”

“How about this, then: we give you a token to take, something simple and innocuous to send us a little warning only if she does show up. If she does, we can send someone directly to you to look after you and your family. You wouldn’t need to do anything other than simply fold or tear a piece of paper.”

He looks a little surprised and thinks it over for a couple of seconds. “You can do that?”

“Oh, I assure you Urk Surk, I can do a great many things. I’ll even put the Lord Jaezred here in charge as your personal case manager.”

Urk gives Jaezred an appraising look. Jaezred lets out a small sigh.

“Yes, I’ll be your…personal case manager. If it sweetens the deal, I know a tea shop in Port Ffirst that would be interested in sponsoring your…amusements.”

Urk Surk narrows his eyes briefly as he thinks. “It’s a thriving entertainment business, not just amusements. But…okay. I think I can manage that. And…thanks, Lord Jaezred, for the lead on a sponsorship deal. I’ll come with Zirk when he brings the books and we can go over the arrangements. But in the meantime, I still could do with some advice, though. The others are going to ask me about the stones still and Novan. How much am I supposed to tell them?”

“Can they keep calm if she comes by again?”

“Well… Depends on what I tell them, I suppose.” Urk frowns at his own comment, then adds, “I mean… Can make sure they will, but you have to understand, this is the first I’m hearing of any issue here. They already look up to Novan and, well, no offence, Lord Jaezred, but we don’t know you. Now, I can put things together myself and realise you and the lovely lady here might hold some sway in the court but we are not part of this court, we’re only here as contractors. I’m happy to help and make sure we aren’t tarnishing our name by association with dangerous objects, especially if there is opportunity for more fruitful sponsorship down the line… But as far as my family is concerned, you’re telling us a friend should not be trusted. And that is a hard sell.”

Jaezred lets out a slow and long exhale. A ‘hard sell’ — sounds like a job for the most persuasive man in the Witching Court.

“Let me speak to them, then,” he says.

Urk nods. “Okay then… Let us tidy up from today’s games and we can arrange that when people are less…agitated.” He casts an eye on Zola in particular, and she shoots him an apologetic smile.

“Miss Oussviir, will you please take this chest to Star on the Horizon? Oh, and tell him to fetch Miss Celia as well,” Jaezred instructs her in Drowic, and gives the directions to Star’s lab. Then he turns to Sarin. “Sarin, you should go home. I’ll tidy up the chapel… Where are you even staying?”

“Why, hoping we can pay him a private visit, dear?” Imryll flashes her trademark smirk. His cheeks heat up in response.

“Ah, well, I actually stay here, Lord Jaezred. There is a small private chamber I use for rest. But you need not worry about helping tidy up here, I know you must be busy yourself, let alone with today’s recent discovery. I am sorry, Master Urk Surk, if taking this contract has caused you any problems. I do hope this will not affect our relations at all.”

“No, no. You hired us and we will finish the contract, no problems there. Just…keep the loincloth on.”

Zola hoists the chest up on her strong shoulders. “No problem, Lord Jaezred. Um…I’ll see you later? And you too, Sarin, Lady Imryll. Bye, Urk!”

“Yes, look after yourself, Zola.” Sarin waves her off with a big smile as she walks out the door. Urk waves her off too but doesn’t say anything else.

After Sarin and Urk eventually depart the chapel as well, Jaezred turns to Imryll, frustration and tiredness now unearthed and plain to see on his face.

“I don’t have time for this… There are things happening in K’ul Goran, Kundar, Enlace… If I am to see Novan Pendarvis again this month, it better be in a bedroom, with low lights and scented candles.”

She cups his face with a sympathetic look and sighs. “If that were the case, dear, I’m afraid you’d have to wait your turn until I’m done with her first.”

He pouts. “No way. I’m the one who seduced her. You’ve not even met her yet!”

“Exactly! As if she will be able to resist me.”

“Pfft. We’ll see about that. Maybe we should get a little bit of practice, eh? You can be the dastardly necromancer, I’ll be the dashing adventurer who arrests you…”

“Any excuse to tie me down, I see… I’m afraid you’ll have to catch me first, if you think you’re up for it.”

“Oh, you know I always am, my love…” He chuckles and plants a kiss on her forehead. “Anyway, what shall we do about the tokens in circulation out there? Do we recall them? Let the owners keep them and observe what happens?”

“Well, getting them all seems like it might be somewhat beyond what we will be able to achieve in any reasonable timeframe, given Urk Surk’s suggestion that we are likely only getting ‘most’ of the names, at best… On the other hand, we still don’t actually know exactly what they’re doing, so maybe having more leads out is more opportunity?” She thinks for a moment. “I’d say get what we can and watch for the rest. Not everyone will be necessarily willing to part with such a fine award,” she says with a chuckle.

“Very well. I think we can manage that.”

---

An hour or so passes, and Urk comes back into the chapel with the entire Surk clan.

Jaezred rises from the pew he was sitting on and approaches them. “Greetings, friends. My name is Lord Jaezred Vandree of the Witching Court. And you are…?”

One by one, the goblins introduce themselves:

Derk Surk has stubble and short ginger hair that looks like it would curl if left to grow out. He has a slim build but is very slightly taller than his kin.

Lurk Surk has her hair tied back in a thin, black ponytail and a muscular build. She has a multitude of tiny scars on her arms and hands.

Gurk Surk is short for his kind, and very stocky. He had shaved all his hair off, seemingly to hide his imminent balding.

Jerk Surk looks younger than most of the others and appears a little timid.

Quirk Surk has long, black, plaited hair. She gazes back at Jaezred with a sombre face.

Zirk Surk has what can only be described as unreasonably luscious, golden-blond hair.

Shirk Surk is the smallest and youngest of the clan, and is covered in bright blue paint.

None of them are consciously aware of the fey presence Jaezred is subtly exuding as they speak their names. When they see him up close, he seems more beautiful, more regal than an initial glance revealed. Standing at over 6 feet tall, he towers over them — he has all the bearings of a man born into wealth, power, and authority; the scion of a proud and ancient lineage. His intense crimson eyes take in the weight of each goblin before him, yet at the same time, his deep, velvety-smooth voice comforts any nervousness that may arise in them.

“My friends, I am one of the congregants of this chapel for which you are building defences. I am he who faced down the assassins persecuting our faith, the very reason you are all here today. I am deeply grateful for the work you are undertaking for us, and that is why I regret that I must be the bearer of bad news to you.” He pauses for a brief second for effect. “The world we live in can be cruel and unforgiving. We take kindness where we find it, and that leaves us vulnerable to be preyed upon by those who use compassion as a mask. People like Novan Pendarvis.”

Once again, he casts a cantrip to show an image of Novan’s face hovering above his palm. “Urk has told me that she is a friend to you, helping your business and even healing your leg, Shirk. But the truth is, this is nothing more than a façade — she has been using you to spread her tokens throughout the Dawnlands for some nefarious purpose we have yet to fully uncover. In truth, she is a ruthless murderer and necromancer who has terrorised many here in the Witching Court.”

A series of confused looks ripple across the band of goblins as they look at each other, then to the patriarch of the clan for confirmation. Urk sighs. “I was surprised to hear it too, but these fine people think she might be dangerous.”

“Um… Are you sure?” Quirk asks.

“Yeah, you even said she fixed up my leg!” Shirk protests.

“Who did she murder?” Zirk says.

“An’ why would she be helping us?” Derk asks.

“Maybe it’s not the same person?” Shirk chimes in again.

“But it looks like ‘er,” Quirk replies.

“No! She was helping us!”

“Alright, Shirk, you don’ have to shout, we’re all here…” Gurk says. Shirk grumbles in response.

There is a moment of unintelligible chatter among them as they all talk at once, before Quirk speaks up over everyone.

“Are you really sure?”

“I have met Novan…twice now, and she has never bothered pretending in front of me,” says Jaezred. “Do you want to hear about the things she’s done?”

They all look at each other again, then Urk answers for the family, “I think that would be helpful, Lord Jaezred. We only know her to be friendly and helpful with us.” A series of nods follow.

“Very well.” The drow folds his hands in front of him. “In a town to the east of here, she kidnapped four people and tortured them for days on end as she desecrated the bodies in the local graveyard, all for her necromantic experiments. In order to not be found, she put the entire village under a spell of lethargy. The whole population, including the children, would have starved to death if I hadn’t visited the place and discovered what was happening.

“Her victims are numerous and are not limited to humanoids, she hurt the nature spirits of this land, too. She once dumped the corpse of a slaad in a lake, to corrupt the waters and drive the spirit living there into madness. Again, just for an experiment. Just to see what would happen.

“Even in Daring Heights, she dug up multiple bodies in Daring Cemetery and raised them as gruesome zombies. And this is just a fraction of her history.”

There are a few gasps and murmurs. Overall, the Surks seem to be struggling to reconcile the person they know with the person he is describing.

Somewhat meekly, Shirk asks, “But…why?”

“I wish I could tell you, Shirk. This is why we’re asking you to inform us if she ever visits your family again. My Lady Imryll here will create an item that will allow you to do that discreetly.” He gestures to Imryll sitting on the pew behind him. “I only wish to protect my home and my friends living in the Dawnlands from Novan.”

Small chatter rings out between them again before their faces take on a range of expressions, varying from sadness to anger.

Urk Surk turns back to Jaezred. “I think we all agree that someone who would do the things you have described is truly a terrible person… But we still don’t know Novan to be this. That said, we have heard about the disturbance in the graveyard, as we’ve heard of you before now, Lord Jaezred. If the lady can really make the token she suggests…we’re willing to help.”

Jaezred goes down on one knee, so as to be at eye-level height with Urk, and offers him a hand. “Thank you, Mr. Surk. That means a lot to us.”

Urk shakes his hand — it is a firm businessman’s handshake. “I trust this is just the start of a wonderful friendship, Lord Jaezred, and consider us when and if it comes to protecting.”

Jaezred smiles at him. Perhaps these goblins could be useful to the court after all. “Now, Mr. Surk, you mentioned a book of names?”

“Ah, yes… Zirk?”

Zirk steps forward and produces a guest book.

“We’ve had this book for people to sign and leave messages after some of our games. Not everyone does and, well, maybe they don’t always leave a name, but these would be the names we know of,” Urk explains, and begins flipping through a few pages whilst Zirk holds it up for him. “Uh… We probably first met Novan around here… So, potentially everyone from here onwards would have been given one of the stones. It’s…more than I’d like to admit, given what we know now.”

From the point indicated by Urk, there are 12 pages of messages and well-wishes, each of them bearing 4 or 5 names.

“Ummm, there was the other adventurers who got some too,” Zirk finally speaks up. “I wrote their names down at the back to watch out for… They were the ones with the dragon incident.”

Five names are written in the back: Celina, Glint, Pipper, Derthaad, Turducken.

Jaezred scans the pages and nods. “Interesting… Thank you, this is good. We will take note of all these names.”

---

The Surk clan receives a rare personal escort by Imryll and Jaezred to the teleportation hub, where a mage zaps them back to Portal Plaza. Once the goblins are gone, Jaezred turns to his beloved. “We always have work to do, don’t we?”

“It never ends, dear.”

He offers an arm to her as they start walking back to their room. “Do you intend to work until your body won’t allow you to?”

She takes the arm and pulls herself in close. “I intend, my love, to remain a brilliant star in these strange and trying times! But…you know my feelings for our fair Queen, my love. She has my loyalty — and while I am able to, while I am part of this court, I will do everything I can. Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t plan on having fun while I do, nor do I plan on reaching the point of no return. I need to save some energy for the carnage that will be our retirement. Just think, all that free time, all the opportunity to bestow my wonderful self on so many planes!”

Retirement is a nice thought; something to look forward to. But is it even in the cards for him? Can he ever have that without giving up the arcane powers that he now relies upon to defend himself from his enemies?

“Yes, you’re on track to become the rowdiest old crone ever.” He gives her a smile. “You learned magic from the Queen, didn’t you? How did that come to be?”

“Well, she needed someone who could handle matters in her stead. We can hardly have someone not gifted in magic doing that, now can we? I chose to learn the long way, though, rather than simply borrow from her powers… I thought I could give her much more if I had my own power to offer her in addition to her own.”

“That’s very diligent of you. I never did learn to love the tedious ways of wizardry…”

“No, neither did I — too many stuffy old men pouring through books. I learnt practically. Maybe a little longer winded but, as you may have noticed, my dear, I am not bound by some silly book that can be taken away from me.”

His eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “I…actually never noticed that. How did such a thing escape me! So how do you do it then? Do you remember every single spell you have learnt?”

“Aha! That is one for another day, I’m afraid… Can’t spill out all my secrets at once now!”

---

Co-written with goblin king Anthony